Easy as 1, 2, 3

Tragically, Covid-19 has put a pin in the ABC Showcase cocktail party for the second year running.

Emma Alberici, Sam Dastyari, Chris Bowen, Gai Brodtmann and The Wiggles.

The ABC Showcase is one of the most important events on the Canberra Bubble™ social calendar … not only as a photo opp for politicians to pose alongside B1 and B2 at Parliament House but also because of the swag of Aunty hands-out to butter up budget decision-makers, current and future. It’s one of the rare occasions where you can guarantee an appearance by most ministers, and occasionally a prime minister, mainly so they can brag to their kids about finger pointing with the Wiggles. Tragically, Covid-19 has put a pin in the cocktail party for the second year running and prevented the public broadcaster’s celebrities – such as 7.30 host Leigh Sales, Giggle and Hoot, and RN identities Fran Kelly and Patricia Karvelas – from flying in to raise a glass.

In its stead, ABC managing director David Anderson decided in October to send out goodies to every federal politician. What was inside the reusable ABC tote bag? A Gardening Australia magazine featuring Costa Georgiadis and the gang,two triple j stickers, a pair of ABC logo socks and a water bottle. For the book worms, there was an extra tome (RRP $34.99) – Black Summer, edited by Michael Rowland; Back Roads: The Scenic Road by Heather Ewart; or The Hard Quiz Book Of The World’s Hardest Arses, which has a foreword by TV host Tom Gleeson. Will this gift translate to a less bumpy ride at the next round of estimates? Unlikely! Aside from a few hours of heated exchanges with Liberal senators, Channel 2 enjoys cross-party support via the Parliamentary Friends of the ABC. It has five co-conveners — Nationals MP Darren Chester, Labor’s Mike Freelander, SA indi Rebekha Sharkie, Tassie indi Andrew Wilkie and Greens senator Sarah Hanson-Young — more than any of the other 150 friend groups.

Former ABC boss Mark Scott with Giggle and Hoot.

Who is the outliar?

Wearing a 'cat and mouse' tie: French ambassador Jean-Pierre Thebault. Picture: Gary Ramage

When asked whether Scott Morrison was “lying about lying” on subs, the French ambassador to Australia Jean-Pierre Thebault reached for the words of this august organ’s editor-at-large Paul Kelly. Perhaps he is a fan of PK’s phenomenal podcast? “I think, to cut a long conversation short, I will quote an article published this morning. ‘Was Macron misled? Of course he was. To suggest anything less is absurd,’ ” Thebault told the National Press Club. While wearing a cat and mouse tie, he also j’accused the PM of stabbing Emmanuel Macron in the back. Le pain! But enough of the down-periscope debate – what was on the diplomatic food-fight menu? NPC executive chef Daren Tetley did not disappoint. The $85 three-course meal started with a baguette and whipped sea salt butter. The main was a “Rockpool of Australian seafood and sea vegetables”, with a shellfish consomme and shallot pearls. To finish, a “Fromage de l’alliance” plate of (FR) AUKUS cheeses – a Brebirousses D’Argental from Lyon, France; an Adelaide Hills triple cream; Colston Bassett stilton blue via Nottinghamshire, England; and Sartori Bellavitano Espresso from Wisconsin, US. Kindly coupled with a rosemary pane croccante, medjool dates and local cabernet sauvignon or reisling. Strewth’s spies were disappointed that traditional French champagne and the even more traditional French fries were not served.

Worth a shot

“I’ve spoken to my GP. The advice is: I’m not mentally unwell. I’m an idiot,” Victorian Liberal Tim Smith admitted, four days after he drank “a few glasses of wine” and smashed into the side of a house. The Scotch old boy’s five-week-old Jaguar came to rest against the external wall of an eight-year-old child’s bedroom. Smith faced the music (read: the media) for the first time on Wednesday, after hiding out at his parents’ holiday home on the Mornington Peninsula. He apologised for the “harm” and “embarrassment”, blaming an empty stomach for blowing 0.131 — more than 2½ times the legal limit. Smith has so far refused to call time on his political career, despite a public request from his friend and Liberal leader Matthew Guy to not contest the 2022 state election. “Should one horrendously poor judgment render someone’s career over immediately?” Smith asked. A question, we trust, Josh Frydenberg doesn’t want voters to decide. Nominations for Smith’s seat of Kew close on November 12. The question remains: at which “friend’s house” was Smith socialising “for a few hours” before getting behind the wheel? Strewth’s sources allege it is a high-profile QC.

Love a chicken schnitty and haven’t received your first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine yet?

Here’s your chance to score a $10 voucher to be used at selected local clubs across Queensland and get vaccinated at the same time. 🍗 pic.twitter.com/HihCUtQpuW

— Annastacia Palaszczuk (@AnnastaciaMP) November 3, 2021

What’s in a name

With just three words – “Welcome home, Cleo” – a cloud was lifted in Carnarvon by WA deputy police commissioner Col Blanch. The story of missing Cleo Smith has been making headlines for nearly three weeks, but it appears Anthony Albanese wasn’t paying attention. The Labor leader referred to the four-year-old as “Chloe” three times during his press conference with deputy Richard Marles in Plumpton on Wednesday morning. That prompted ABC News host Karina Carvalho to clarify: “I’m pretty sure he meant to call her Cleo Smith, not Chloe Smith”. Curiously, Albo’s slip-up was scrubbed from the transcript distributed by Labor later that day. To be fair, he’s not the only one to make the mistake. ScoMo incorrectly called her “Chloe” during an interview with 6PR radio last week, which the PM’s office also omitted from its official write-up.

I just want to point out the 'found' sticker over the missing person poster outside Carnarvon police station. pic.twitter.com/2uFsrOyNkI

— Calla Wahlquist (@callapilla) November 3, 2021

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