In much the same way as watching a game at centre court, the commentariat’s serves have come thick and fast, the returns sizzling to the baseline, kicking off long rallies, forehand and backhand, volley for volley, and they’ve only been playing against themselves. Spectators’ heads have shifted from side to side, trying to keep apace. It’s been tough on the neck.
The commentariat was performing not just contortions but major limb dislocations, so much so they could have eased themselves into those vacuum packs of new balls with a shoehorn and a little lube.
To be fair, it is a tough one. If one supported Djokovic’s entry into the country then one, by extension, endorsed an open border policy. A position that holds the Commonwealth should have no say in who can enter and who is verboten. Best not to mention refugees, boats and detention centres. Stick to tennis.
If I may shift my sporting metaphors, you can see how this has become a sticky wicket for commentators on the left and on the right.
If nothing else, the brouhaha has finally defenestrated the awful fallacy that sport and politics don’t mix. Here politics and sport are competing in the mixed doubles.
Piers Morgan has an ability to slice through hypocrisy and took to Twitter with a powerful serve on Thursday morning.
“The Djokovic saga is not about whether you believe in Covid vaccines, but whether you believe famous sports stars should play by the same rules as everyone else. He has the right not to be jabbed, and Australia has the right to chuck him out for making a dodgy visa application.”
The #Djokovic saga is not about whether you believe in covid vaccines, but whether you believe famous sports stars should play by the same rules as everyone else. He has the right not to be jabbed, and Australia has the right to chuck him out for making a dodgy visa application.
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) January 5, 2022
Advantage Morgan.
Nigel Farage, a wily opponent at the best of times, served up a link to a BBC article describing Novak Djokovic’s visa travails and posed the question, “Is Australia now a banana republic.”
The return from Morgan was blistering.
“I believe it’s called ‘controlling your border’, Nigel…”.
Game. Set. Match. Thank-you linesmen. Thank-you ball boys.
After all, Nigel has made quite a bit of noise around border control in the past. It would have been churlish of Morgan not to mention it.
But the prize for the most desperate scramble to the baseline to return a high arcing lob went to Australia’s leading professional protesters, the anti-vax Reignite Democracy Australia.
Reignite Democracy Australia served first on Wednesday night, in furious anger that Djokovic had been allowed to come to Australia to play. Djokovic seemed to be subject to special rules not extended to “hard working Aussies.” Protests were arranged where howls of outrage could be expected at the Australian Open, commencing on January 17.
“Of course, we’re happy he’s coming to play,” the RDA Instagram post said. “He’s a legend! However, why are celebrities treated differently to every day hard working Aussies? Surely you can see the inconsistencies now? We’ve been called selfish for believing in human rights. We’ve been told we’re endangering the elderly by not getting vaccinated or wearing masks. We’ve been alienated and discriminated against. We’ve been divided and bullied to comply. But a tennis player who brings in millions of dollars … oh that’s just fine! Common people … wake up if you haven’t already.”
With Djokovic at the airport, visa cancelled, the RDA stretched to return a low, ankle-high volley. What else was there to do but take a sneaky 180 degree turn and bunt a drop shot but would it go over the net?
“Novak is held up, under police guard, at Melbourne airport! Our bureaucrats might be the worst in the world! Depriving Australia a beloved sporting legend that’s come all the way here to play! You do realise the whole narrative is falling apart, right? I’d run and hide soon, not double down. Justice is coming for your misplaced decisions.”
In the space of twelve hours, RDA had shifted from protesting Djokovic’s participation in the Australian Open to now protesting that he’s not.
Who knows where the match will end now with a leading Melbourne lawyer, Justin Quill telling The Australian on Friday he believed Djokovic may compete at the Australian Open after all, not necessarily because he would win but because the Federal Court would need time to consider the case?
“My guess … is that there is a pretty good chance he will be playing at the Australian Open,” Mr Quill said. “I suspect what’s going to happen is … I suspect not so much because he is going to win his case, but that it is going to be found that there needs to be more time,” he said.
Oh, no. Deuce. What to protest about then? Due process?
The donnybrook looks set to continue in the courts rather than on one. Australian heads will continue moving from left to right and right to left, pausing briefly to raise an eyebrow at Serbian President Aleksandar Vucic who accused our Prime Minister of engaging “in a witch hunt”, before returning to sideways glances.
Amid the babbling to and fro polemics, the question that really needs to be asked is, does anyone know a good chiropractor?
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The Novak Djokovic imbroglio might actually be more entertaining than the tennis. It’s certainly funnier.