Profound and moving account of two sisters wounded by abuse

Tears welled up in my eyes as I read Virginia Tapscott’s story (“‘My sister was abused. So was I. She’s dead. I’m speaking up’”, 19-20/9).

Virginia’s story was extraordinary and I want her to know she has a special talent for writing. It was a profound and moving account of the two sisters’ lives and I hope writing about the abuse and Alex’s eventual death helps Virginia cope with the grief.

When I was about 35 years old and the mother of teenage sons my mother told me she had been sexually abused as a girl. She was born in 1923 and was just 10 years old when the abuse started. One of nine children, her four sisters were overlooked by the abuser. My mum died in 1995 aged 72 and I think because of the sexual abuse she felt second-rate all her life. I feel an overwhelming sadness for my mother and the sorrow bubbled up again as I read Virginia Tapscott’s story.

Lizzie Haydon, Runcorn, Qld

Virginia Tapscott has used her formidable writing gift to speak up for her dead sister, Alex, herself and all who bear, often silently, the wounds of child sexual abuse. As someone who has the good fortune not to have had a disfigured childhood, I humbly wish Virginia every success with her crusade and with her own recovery.

Helen Jackson, Higgins, ACT

Thank you, Virginia Tapscott, for your heartfelt article. My childhood sexual assault by a family member only came to light three years ago as a consequence of my perpetrator’s hubris. Shockingly, I was accused of “destroying” the family by those who should have offered me compassion and support. Yes, there “are still people who think this should all be kept quiet”. I can only surmise my family’s silence and secrecy is due to shame, guilt or fear or perhaps a combination of all three.

Outwardly, survivors of sexual abuse may be educated, articulate and socially adept. Yet I am only one example of such a person whose abuse has had a profound impact on my life. There is not a day goes by where I do not reflect on the damage that this childhood abuse has caused me and my life choices. Victims of family abuse must be encouraged to speak out and be given the justice and support they so rightly deserve.

Julie Miller, Hawthorn West, Vic

My heart breaks for your sadness, Virginia Tapscott, for all you have had to endure, including the loss of your beautiful sister. Stay strong. Name and shame. Sexual predators who are protected are the scourge of society.

Jenny Webster, Lake MacDonald, Qld

Surprises in your paper are a rarity, but I was stunned by the piece you printed on your front page on Saturday, written by Virginia Tapscott. It was engaging, powerful, sad and disturbing but ultimately uplifting, due to the courage, insights and writing skills of the author. I am appreciative of your publishing this profoundly important article.

John Mitchell, Myrtle Bank, SA

When duty calls

So, Defence says that excessive deployments by Special Forces only occurred with “each individual’s voluntary commitment” (“Defence ignored warnings”, 19-20/9). Really? Every man and woman in the ADF is a volunteer and putting themselves in harm’s way — combat, fires, COVID — to serve their country is what the job is about. Perhaps we should give each of them the luxury of deciding which bits of duty they will or will not do? That’s obviously rubbish so the “deal” is that ADF members at the sharp end will go where they’re told and senior officers will ensure their interests and concerns will be looked after: when did that responsibility end? Recently the chief executive of Rio Tinto took responsibility and resigned when the company destroyed an Aboriginal heritage site; don’t hold your breath and wait for any service chief or departmental secretary to accept responsibility and resign for any Special Forces shortcomings.

Roger Dace, retired colonel, Reid, ACT