Shut up … and don’t be an idiot

To whoever took it upon themselves to cut the words of Enid Blyton in her tales of the Famous Five, we quote Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew: “Away you three-inch fool!” Or we might turn back the words apparently no longer fit for children to hear: “Shut up” and “don’t be an idiot”. Precise and to the point, penned by masters of their craft and, in the case of Blyton, reduced by busybodies and the censoriously cautious.

Ironically, of course, this the antithesis of what the Famous Five were all about. Armed with maps, torches, packets of sandwiches and a plentiful supply of ginger beer, Julian, Dick, Anne, their tomboy cousin George (Georgina by rights) and Timmy the dog liked nothing better than to spend their holidays hiking and biking, camping and exploring by themselves, invariably falling into adventure. Blyton’s 21 original Famous Five books have never been out of print and remain popular with readers worldwide, a testament to their appeal. So, is it too much to ask that today’s young get an accurate description of what life was like before the computer and helicopter parenting conspired to render childhood an indoor activity. It is the curse of oversensitivity for no good end.

UK publisher Puffin was forced to back down after deleting words such as fat, ugly and flabby from Roald Dahl’s children’s books so the stories could “continue to be enjoyed by all today”. Witches can still be bald, as long as words are added to tell readers there is nothing wrong with that.

Enough! Let Famous Five’s Anne tell George exactly what she thinks of her idiotic ways. As the Bard wrote: “Lord, what fools these mortals be!”