Resilience key to survive Covid-19

Only those who have lost a loved one to suicide understand the raw pain. No matter how many anniversaries and birthdays pass, emptiness, regrets over what might have been and sometimes a dollop of guilt continue to flicker. R U OK? Day, on the second Thursday of September each year, encourages public discussion of social isolation and its consequences, including suicide. Amid COVID-19, it has rarely been as important. This year it coincides with World Suicide Prevention Day. Both have touched a chord. Time will tell if the fallout from the pandemic increases Australia’s suicide toll. In normal years that amounts to about 3000 lives lost. The devastating effects on those left behind will be felt years and decades after COVID-19 passes.

Politicians sometimes refer to “COVID creep” and the insidious nature of the disease. But its insidious effects on hearts and minds also need to be brought into the open. Amid job losses, isolation, lockdowns, businesses folding, anxiety over exams, fear of banks foreclosing, working parents struggling to homeschool children, adult children stranded overseas, hard borders, illness, medical treatments postponed and being unable to attend loved ones’ funerals, reports are surfacing of Australians taking their own lives. Some are dreading a lonely Christmas. Others miss the companionship of the village square, the cuppa and chat after church or a yarn and a drink at the 19th hole. In Melbourne, some people who live alone are popping out to the shops just to speak to another human being.

In terms of suicides, the most senseless losses are those of young lives. Two teenage boys with open, kind and seemingly happy faces died within weeks of each other recently at a bayside secondary college in Brisbane; nine Sydney students, mainly in years 11 and 12, from public and private north shore schools, have died since January. And as Sydney’s Sunday Telegraph reported last weekend, the NSW seaside community of Kiama has been devastated by the suicides of seven people in as many weeks. They include a 14-year-old schoolboy, a uni student and his mate, a pilates instructor in her 30s and the dad of two primary school students. Another seven have died across the wider Illawarra region. The University of Sydney’s Brain and Mind Centre recently forecast that even in a best-case scenario, Australia could see an increase in suicide deaths of at least 13.7 per cent across the next five years.

Help is available for those who seek it — or whose families, friends, doctors or teachers encourage them to seek it. When the first wave of COVID-19 was taking hold in March, University of Melbourne youth mental health professor Patrick McGorry said the pandemic would be a major threat to mental health. Its effects would be felt as people lost their sense of security, confronted their fear of COVID, were less able to exercise and to mix socially and professionally. Finding the resilience to cope would be vital. As Professor McGorry noted, many would need help and support. Being observant of other people as well as tolerant and understanding were vital. So was encouraging those who were struggling to seek help, and accepting help.

Special days promoting good causes and symbolised by coloured ribbons, flowers, red noses and the like are almost routine. But the R U OK? Day organisers have a simple, worthwhile message — stay connected and reach out. In current circumstances, a stiff-upper-lip culture of silence is unhelpful. Given the pandemic and bushfires, many people, asked if they were OK, might be likely to answer no. As R U OK? chief executive Katherine Newton says, it is important to know what to say next. Making time to listen with an open mind, checking in regularly and encouraging people to seek support before they are in crisis make a difference.