Welcome to this column and I begin today by acknowledging the Mesopotamians, the Kassites in Babylon, the Gurgum and the Kummah, and pay our respects to the First Persian Empire but not the second or god forbid the third.
In a spirit of reconciliation, we apologise to those who lost loved ones in the Battle of Pelusium and to Phanes of Halicarnassus in particular. Sorry about the sea of skulls in the Nile basin. Our bad.
Earlier this week, the speech by Climate Change and Energy Minister Chris Bowen to COP28 in Dubai should have started this way, if it were a welcome to country as we know it. Or possibly welcome to another country.
The United Arab Emirates has a rich history. Near enough to the cradle of civilisation, founded by the Achaemenid Empire half a millennia before the birth of Christ, part of the short-lived Kingdom of Oman, immersed in the spread of Islam in the seventh century, colonised by the Portuguese, the Ottoman Empire and finally the British before independence came in 1971.
There are, however, no indigenous Emirati, which belies the point of a welcome to country. But even if there were, Bowen’s tortured message presupposes that he himself is one of the almost a half-billion indigenous people around the world. He isn’t.
Instead, Bowen rattled off the mother of all motherhood statements to an audience trying not to look bored while eyeing their watches with the cocktail hour rapidly approaching.
“I begin with an acknowledgment that at the heart of action on climate change must be profound respect for those people who have cared for our respective lands for millennia – Indigenous people across the world,” Bowen blurted.
“I reaffirm our government’s commitment to the inclusion of our First Nations people in our climate change response and clean energy future.
“Recognising that respect for indigenous knowledge, cultures and traditional practices is critical.”
I’d like to think the minister’s speech writer had accidentally cut in a welcome to country on the mistaken assumption Bowen would be speaking to the locals back home. Force of habit.
When Bowen got to his feet and looked at the 14-point font before his eyes, he was obliged to ad lib. He might have got away with it if it weren’t for the Australian media, who asked the important questions: What? Why? And what the hell?
But at COP28, the peculiar acknowledgment to indigenous people who weren’t present to hear it was allowed to pass gently through to the keeper.
Yet at that moment, the summit had bigger problems. On its final day and deep into extra time, the climate conference was still mulling over a 21-page statement.
The statement prepared by COP28 President-delegate, Sultan Ahmed al-Jaber was open-ended on the future of fossil fuels. Leading the opposition to this were many Pacific nations whose argument ran along the line of “We like swimming but we don’t want to do it all the time.”
But if you thought Bowen’s bungled welcome to someone else’s country was an embarrassment, his remarks throughout the conference did the near impossible: making everyone angry regardless of their position on climate change and fossil fuels.
Whether to phase out fossil fuels or keep the drill rigs rolling is the sticking point.
Former US Vice President Al Gore warned in a post on X Monday that the summit was “on the verge of complete failure.” And he should know.
Australia under Bowen is having five bob each way. Up and down like the Assyrian Empire, as they’d say in the 14th century BC.
Earlier in the conference Bowen said, “We have to face this fact head-on. If we are to keep 1.5 degrees alive, fossil fuels have no ongoing role to play in our energy systems.”
Later as chairman of the so-called umbrella group of nations, which includes the US, Canada, Norway, Japan and Australia, Bowen said, “We’re a fossil fuel exporter, we’ve got things at stake, we also see the economic opportunities for our country, and we see the opportunity for us to work with other countries on their decarbonisation journey.”
This remark was in response to a veiled criticism of Australia by the delegate from Bolivia, Diego Pacheco.
“There is a lot of procrastination, a lot of protectionism,” Pacheco said.
“There’s a lot of hypocrisy, lies and injustice. Several countries are saying they want to phase out fossil fuels and those are countries that are in fact expanding fossil fuel production in the world – US, Australia, Norway, Canada and many others.”
Countries such as Bolivia might be happy to sign on to a statement that ushers out fossil fuel exploration and mining in future. It’s a lofty ambition, but many of these countries have been left to wonder what incentives are on the table to ignore fossil fuels in developing economies.
In these talkfests, one must always hold lofty ambitions while planning for failure, and here at last, Bowen was finally making some sense.
“Whether we succeed or not, we will know in the next 24 hours or so, but we will leave nothing on the field. We came to this COP determined to return Australia’s place as a respected, constructive leader, as we should as a country with great economic potential as a renewable,” Australia’s Energy Minister said.
As Jack Lang famously said, always back a horse called self-interest. It’s the only horse in the race you know is trying.
If failure can be measured then surely the best metric is the fleet of private jets cooling their wheels on the runway at DXB.
Let us acknowledge this in the true spirit of global gabfests.
Jack the Insider is a highly placed, dedicated servant of the nation and a columnist for The Australian.
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