Writing commentary for The Australian in this polarising year was like serving porridge to Goldilocks. Too hot for some readers, too cold for others — and the occasional acknowledgement that it was just about right.
Just when I thought I’d been a little hard on the ABC’s Norman Swan, Daddy Cool jumped into the comments box to accuse me of going soft. “I believe people like Swan and the Grattan Institute, who have been so, so, so inaccurate and alarmist, should be fined, sacked, debarred or even put in jail,” writes Cool. “We are a free country, remember.”
“Who is Norman Swan?” asked Pamela. “Is he related to Wayne Swan?”
“No,” replied Larry. “But his forecasts are of similar accuracy.”
“I’ve done the maths,” wrote Alfred. “Anything the ABC tells you is 60% wrong, 95% biased and 100% politically motivated.”
Gauging readers’ views on the ABC was the easy bit. However, working out where they stood on the response to the pandemic caught me off guard. Readers who would not tolerate a bungling state government in normal times were prepared to cut their hapless premiers considerable slack.
“Mr Cater,” writes Milo, “As a conservative Queensland voter, who do I think is looking out for the interests of my family? You or Ms Palaszczuk?” Actually, I hoped it was you, Milo, but thank you for putting me straight.
The readiness of Australians to let the government run their lives was 2020’s biggest surprise. My arguments for a proportionate response to the coronavirus, in which personal liberties were respected, was strangely controversial. It was as if I had run mask-less along Bourke Street shouting death to all grannies.
“Yes I am sure Nick Carter (sic) would believe that having lots of other people die is an acceptable price to pay for his freedom,” lectured Graham in August. “He is going to have a hard time convincing others outside the lunar right and libertarian fringe.”
Fortunately, not every reader thought I was a reckless idiot for arguing that arresting pregnant women for Facebook posts is not OK. “Aaah, Nick Cater,” writes Keyser. “The voice of reason, sanity and truth. So heartening to read your sage words.”
Some readers were eager to praise things I hadn’t even written. “If Nick Cater says climate change is not happening then it is not happening,” wrote Dirk. “I don’t know why all these scientists persist in disagreeing with him. They must be Marxists.”
It is easy to be condemned for denialism these days, and denying it only makes it worse. A column about declining standards in scientific research landed me in hot water with Guy, who accused me of being “just like all science deniers”. My complaints about the slipshod work of scientists wasn’t helped by a misplaced decimal point. Sue tried to break the news gently. “Good article Nick. I think you meant p=0.05, not p=0.5. Otherwise, great.”
However, the column seemed to cut through despite the inexcusable dot placement gaffe.
“It saddens me greatly that, as a medical practitioner, I am losing confidence in medicine,” wrote Kiki. “I see much of what Nick has described on a daily basis. I feel a bit like a priest who has lost their faith in God.”
In fairness to my critics, not every one of the 50,000 or so words The Australian has been kind enough to publish this year was well chosen. On balance, I probably regret describing Victorians who voted for Daniel Andrews as “chumps”.
“Victorians aren’t chumps,” a longstanding friend texted. “Yep, mistakes have been made, duh, but the hardest thing to bear … is the ongoing obsession of interstate commentators in criticising our government. It never ends.
“You’re actually turning us all into Labor voters because we are all so sick of being lectured by people who don’t even live here!”
There was a similar state-of-origin backlash to columns critical of Queensland’s Annastacia Palaszczuk and WA’s Mark McGowan. One reader was so enraged he lost control of his keyboard. “How about recognising and accepting that Premier McGowans FIRST duty of care is in WA’s SOVEREIGN INTEREST, is not Australia’s contempt for what is actually happening in the rest of the world infection control FAILURE?” wrote angry ANZAC.
Fortunately, a fellow West Aussie stepped in to translate. What our correspondent had really been trying to say, explained Kevin, was “keep all those evil eastern staters out, especially those Victorians who pinch all our good footy players”.
Border closures haven’t been able to prevent the intellectual virus of critical theory evading quarantine and infecting the thinking in our universities and other cultural institutions. Readers overwhelmingly shared my concerns that the modern obsession with skin colour, epitomised by the Black Lives Matter movement, is far more dangerous than the maladies it purports to cure. The moral posturing of those who support it did not deter The Australian’s readers from having their say.
“This is exactly the sort of claptrap the privileged love to inflict on us peasants,” wrote Michael B.
“I believe 95% of True Blues agree with you Nick, but try convincing the ABC/Getup, Green/Labor and the Guardian,” wrote Banjo.
Jeffrey longed for simpler times: “I’d like to go back to the old system, where we rationally reject everything the green left says and apply a lot of ‘organised scepticism’ to whatever comes out of academia.”
In this, my last column of the year, I acknowledge my debt to Jennifer Campbell, The Australian’s astute Opinion Editor, and her predecessor, Alan Howe, for saving me from unforced errors. In my experience, typos, like the coronavirus, can be suppressed but never entirely eliminated.
Thank you, too, to the readers for 15,489 comments in 2020, which were seldom dull and frequently wittier than the columns they sat beneath. My particular thanks to old Old Ranga for his or her diligence and helpful advice.
Most of all, however, I should acknowledge the politicians, bureaucrats, commentators and crazy academics who generate the relentless absurdities on which this column thrives. I wish them a preposterous New Year.
Nick Cater is executive director of Menzies Research Centre.
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