Rich lists among friends and family: why talking wealth is tricky

I’m impressed by the openness of the growing number of financial influencers found online these days.

They are typically twenty or thirty-somethings, and are happy to give the world rolling updates of their net worth as their investments in shares, property, cryptocurrencies and other assets grow.

Their honesty is refreshing, and helps inspire other young people to chase financial dreams if they see someone their age doing it. But it prompted me to ask two questions.

Question 1: Will the financial influencers be just as open once their portfolios get hammered by the next sharemarket or property downturn?

Question 2: How many Australians overall are happy to tell family, friends or strangers what they’re worth financially?

There’s always someone richer, so don’t compare your wealth with others.

Time will tell when it comes to answering the first question, but I suspect the new breed of money minds will share their losses too. They know asset prices won’t continue climbing forever, even though they’ve enjoyed good times for the past year.

As for question two, I reckon very few people are comfortable disclosing their net worth or their income to others.

However, some have no choice.

Rich lists are constantly published and there’s great public interest in what the wealthiest people in Australia and overseas are worth.

People in senior management at public companies have their salaries, superannuation and other benefits disclosed in their company’s annual reports. Their privacy is partly maintained because most people won’t go anywhere near a company report.

For the majority of Aussies, keeping your wealth to yourself is the preferred option.

Some would be embarrassed sharing because they think their personal net worth is lower than others, or at least lower than they think it should be.

Others simply don’t want to create awkward situations. If a friend or family member knows you’re richer or poorer than them, does that change the relationship? Some people tie their self-worth to their net worth, even though they shouldn’t.

As a teenager I started a life goal list including things such as skydiving, visiting Mount Everest and meeting Africa’s mountain gorillas. That list is still displayed on a wall at home.

I included a life goal about becoming a millionaire by a certain date, but later realised that the number and date might make conversations with friends and family weird. So it was removed.

But what if someone directly asks you how much you are worth or what you get paid?

You can honestly tell them that talking about personal wealth makes you feel uncomfortable, or use deflection tactics such as “enough to pay the bills” or “enough to pay the school fees but not enough to retire”.

And if someone tells you what they’re worth or what they earn, and wants you to share too, don’t feel obliged to. If they’re asking, they probably feel insecure, and if your wealth overshadows theirs they may feel envy too.

Sometimes both people are happy to talk honestly about wealth and income, and if that’s the case, go for it.

But generally, no good can come from telling someone your net worth.