Decade of generation stress

Illustration: Igor Saktor

THE average Australian lives to about 80. Within this lifespan there is at least one decade devoted to education, another to partnering, several to parenting; there are whole decades devoted to retirement.

But within this jumble of life's activities there is one decade that stands out. It is the decade of stress.

Based on my supernatural demographic powers I have determined that the most stressful time within the average lifespan is the decade between 35 and 45, which today includes those born between 1965 and 1975.

This is generation X heartland. This is the generation that has made a career out of being peeved. For the first 30 years of life they had to contend with living in the shadow of those damned baby boomers.

And just when they get within striking distance of senior management positions, along comes those darling generation Ys and all of a sudden it's all about the Ys. Generation Y is the cleverest. Generation Y is the hippest. Generation Y is the most tech savvy. Never mind generation X, you will soon get your hands on the top job and then you can wreak your revenge on generation Y.

But it's not just the frustration of dealing with generation Y in the workplace that is adding stress to generation X's life. Hmm, OK, that's a big part of it, but there is other stuff.

Within the modern lifestyle genre 35 to 45 is calamity central. The fun decade, partner selection, is done and dusted. At least one, possibly two and sometimes three children make their appearance. The household reverts for a time to a single income.

Then there are housing pressures. How can any self-respecting generation Xer hang around the school gate and not discuss renovations?

On top of all this there is the loss of youth. By the late 30s bits and pieces begin to sag. OK, droop. Hair thins, waists thicken, eyesight fades; teeth chip.

I suspect there is something of a mourning for the loss of youth that underpins the latter years of the stress decade. It should come as no surprise that the median age at divorce for an Australian couple sits slap-bang in the middle of, you guessed it, the decade of stress.

By the late 30s the progress of peers comes into focus. That couple that you thought were losers in your 20s are now running a successful business.

You bump into them at a social function and when they ask what you are doing it suddenly occurs to you that you're not doing that much. You notice your parents' health failing at the same time you again notice your own ageing. You are being drawn irrevocably towards death. Stop, I want to go back to the partnering decade.

But the pain of this decade of the damned doesn't end there. There may well be kid stress, financial stress, getting old stress; there may even be nagging doubts about partner selection (his six-pack has morphed into a slab).

But all of these are side issues. The real stress for many relates to frustration in the workplace. At this time in life most people have made a commitment to a career with aspirations for advancement.

The unfortunate thing about career advancement is that it works like a pyramid, which means that, by definition, not everyone makes it to the top. Some don't make it and they realise that they are missing out in a winnowing process taking place in the stress decade. Not a happy time.

In fact this is when many men in particular look back and reflect on the stresses that prevailed and outcomes they produced. Beyond the decade of the damned lies a less turbulent place: the doorway to middle age.

Which is not to say that middle age doesn't produce stress -- this is, after all, when teenagers appear -- but by this time pressures tend to be external.

Gone is agonising for the loss of youth. Gone, too, are parents. Acceptance replaces agony: you will never be rich; this is your lot.

And, you know, by the time you reach middle age you're kinda happy with your lot regardless of how modest it may be.

If only some of this later-life calm could be transmitted to generation X, flailing about in the decade of stress.

Bernard Salt is a KPMG Partner.

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