When boomers go bust

WELCOME to the People's Revolutionary Council meeting for May 2011. This council was set up to help high-fliers adjust to life after the boom.

Perkins illo

WELCOME to the People's Revolutionary Council meeting for May 2011. As you now know this council was set up to help corporate high-fliers adjust to life beyond the boom.

Now I don't want any trouble as I read out what it is you must give up.

No, thank you, Amanda, I don't want a chicken and mushroom vol-au-vent with parsley garnish. And yes I do understand they are delightfully moreish, but I'm a bit busy just now.

The first item on the agenda is consumer spending. The council has reviewed your past behaviour and frankly we are shocked.

Branded clothing, electronic gadgetry, new cars, minimalist extensions, international travel, to say nothing of outrageous restaurant bills. How could you people have thought this lifestyle was sustainable?

And no, Alastair, I don't want a Corona with a twist of lemon.

What I would like is a glass of water. Not Perrier. Not San Pellegrino. Not anything from a bottle. Just plain water. Yes, I do mean out of a tap. Yes, you can drink water out of a tap in Australia.

And no, this is not a recent initiative. It has been available for quite some time. And no, Alastair, you can't do a deal with the water authority to franchise the concept overseas.

We at the council have considered your spending over the past few years of the boom and have decided that you should be relocated out of your harbour-front home to a lovely residence in a nearby suburb.

Could someone attend to Fiona? She seems to have fainted.

You see, the way we want to organise society in the 2010s is a bit different from the way things have been organised in the past.

Don't get me wrong. There's still a place for really rich people. We're not communists.

It's just that with the onset of more straitened times we've decided that premium real estate should go to people who, you know, do stuff.

People like builders, manufacturers and entrepreneurs. People who employ people who produce stuff that people use.

You have to admit, it has a ring to it.

The next item is Elimination of Extraneous Property.

Yes, extraneous is a big word, Fiona, it means unnecessary.

Well, things like holiday homes, luxury boats and vineyards fall into that category. You see, without inflated annual bonuses there's just not enough money coming in to sustain this kind of lifestyle.

I'm sorry, Alastair, "money coming in" is an accounting term. It means you aren't earning enough money to cover the lifestyle you are leading.

Next item is the luxury boat.

Yes, I know I'm treating the luxury boat as if it were a luxury, Amanda. But that's because a luxury boat is a luxury.

I am aware that you think it's essential to have a luxury boat because that's where Alastair does all his creative thinking, but there are people who manage to do creative thinking while mowing the lawn and that doesn't cost them a cent. The next item is cars. This year the People's Revolutionary Council is asking that you don't trade up but that you simply renew the lease.

Again it's the same issue.

If you don't earn a sufficient income you can't live an elevated lifestyle.

Yes, it is a jolly nasty issue Fiona and I too wish it would go away and never come back and just apologise for being so nasty, but I'm afraid it's here to stay and we all have to make sacrifices.

Your cross to bear, brave Fiona, is that you must suffer the ignominy of driving last year's Beemer for another year. Could I suggest that you park a block away and walk to that fashionable cafe on New South Head Road for this Sunday's brunch?

That's the way Amanda, Alastair, Fiona and Andrew.

Toss out that vol-au-vent lifestyle and engage with a simpler life based around cheese and biscuits.

It's not hard. It's just different. Or at least that's the way you need to behave until the next boom.

Meeting adjourned.

Extract from Bernard Salt's new book The Big Tilt: What Happens When the Boomers Bust and Xers and Ys Inherit the Earth (Hardie Grant, 2011).

Bernard Salt is a KPMG Partner.

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