Manners maketh the society

WELCOME to the Society for Normal People. We are proudly mannerist. And I am your president.

REGULAR readers will recall my column from two weeks ago where I lamented the decline of manners in the business and wider community.

I cited the example of business people who fail to return phone calls or who make no effort to include newcomers in social situations.

Exasperated by what I perceived to be an avalanche of bad manners I asked whether I was the only normal person on the planet who sees a moral and ethical obligation to return phone calls and to include newcomers.

And to turn off my phone in a restaurant. Indeed I suggested that what was required was a Society for Normal People. Over the following week I received more than 100 emails from other "normal people" wanting to join the society.

What could I do but set up a Society for Normal People Facebook page? You will be pleased to know that at the beginning of this week this page had just over 700 followers suggesting that, allowing for some who don't have access to Facebook, there's probably about a thousand normal people in Australia.

Since this whole thing was my idea I am claiming presidency: you may address me as either El Presidente or Dear Leader. I'm actually quite informal; either will do. I'm on the lookout for a military uniform with epaulets, gold braid and a sash. I like sashes.

The purpose of the Society for Normal People Facebook page is to provide a forum for those who lament the demise of manners. This is a place where those who feel aggrieved by the bad manners of others can publicly, but ever so politely, express their displeasure. And indeed test how their view of poor form compares with the views of like-minded others.

Membership of the society is open to people of all race, ethnicity, gender, age, income level and sexual orientation.

The only thing the society is against is bad manners. Although to put a more contemporary spin on the movement, manners could be substituted with respect in order to engage generation Y.

We at the society are proudly mannerist. Our Facebook page provides a forum for normal people to let off steam.

As president I am thinking of hosting a drinks function. Just imagine; everyone would be on time.

No one would be left out while others chatted in tight social cliques.

No one would get drunk and become, you know, embarrassing. And, most important, at the end of the evening everyone would thank me as the host.

Or if they couldn't catch my eye on the evening they would telephone or drop me a note or email or text the following day saying what a wonderful time they had.

Here are some of the objectives drawn from the society's manifesto. By 2020 we, the Society for Normal People, by popular revolution shall achieve the following goals:

Everyone will say please and thank you and make an effort to be upbeat, friendly and inclusive in all social situations.

There will be no use of mobile phones for talking or texting or email-scrolling or sniggering into a private message in front of an event's host and-or other guests.

There will be no hogging of the armrest on planes but there will be offers of help to others in the vicinity in the stowing of overhead luggage.

Seats on public transport will be offered quickly and willingly to the elderly, to the disabled and to the pregnant.

People will eat with their mouths closed and there will be universal appreciation of how to hold a knife and fork correctly.

There will be no serial sniffing or other unpleasant bodily utterances in public situations.

Supermarket shoppers will park their trolleys to one side of the aisle to allow others to hurry through.

Dinner guests will check with the host as to the acceptable price range before ordering wine at a restaurant.

The kindness of drivers who let others into a lane will be acknowledged by a kindly wave.

If you want to be part of the Respect Revolution then follow (or like) the Society for Normal People Facebook page.

KPMG partner Bernard Salt is the author of The Big Tilt

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