Obituary a Pearce de resistance; A climate of contradiction

Jonathan Pearce, though still very much in the land of the living, was “often wrong, never in doubt”, says the tongue-in-cheek obituary.

No formal word out of Quadrant Private Equity on Wednesday as to whether managing partner Jonathan Pearce is actually leaving the firm, as our chums at the Financial Review suggested on Tuesday.

That was after Quadrant issued a memo flagging some internal restructuring without mentioning Pearce.

So what are we to make of a mischievous obituary that was stealthily published in The Sydney Morning Herald (and placed anonymously) in the hours after the news appeared? The piece, glorying in Pearce’s demise, pretended to mourn the loss of “JP”, as he’s known, and took care to observe the “assassination” of his career. “Often wrong, never in doubt,” went part of the epitaph.

“Jonathan will be remembered for his frequent references to the Future Fund’s investment in Quadrent (sic), his prickly way with other human beings who did not offer him any obvious value and, more recently, his disastrous stewardship of flagship Quadrent (sic) assets including Rockpool Restaurant, Fitness First and Timezone,” it said.

But are these reports of his death premature? Again, Quadrant wouldn’t deign to answer, but Margin Call is advised that Pearce has indeed met his bullet, tendering his resignation and agreeing to serve out a notice ­period. Apparently it was all rather amicable.

The obit suggested otherwise. “An awkward memorial service will be held at Deutsche Bank Tower this week where JP’s former colleagues at Quadrent (sic) will need to make 90 seconds of small talk with each other for the first time in over eight years (unpaid leave will be recorded for the event).”

The faux-bit, if we can call it that, was taken offline late on Wednesday. So much for quality control at the SMH, eh? Who knew it was that easy to have someone knocked off?

 

Coal pot shot

A Whitehaven Coal spokesman railed against a NSW government plan to raise taxes on the industry last month, firing a hipshot in the process at Queensland, where royalties are up 40 per cent for some companies.

Quoth the spox: “Don’t threaten jobs or undermine the state’s reputation as a reliable trading partner and investment destination, in contrast to what has transpired in Queensland.”

But wait, isn’t Queensland where Whitehaven Coal is the frontrunner to purchase two BHP coal mines valued in the low billions? Higher taxes be damned.

And while we’re on the topic of jarring remarks, we couldn’t help but notice Whitehaven director Fiona Robertson taking to LinkedIn earlier this year with some helpful thoughts on reaching global warming targets.

Robertson posted a Vogue write-up on sustainable fashion, telling her followers: “Interesting analysis on how we need to dramatically reduce our purchases of new clothing to only five new items each year if we are to stay in line with the Paris Agreement of limiting global warming to 1.5 degrees.”

Yes, as though buying that sixth crepe trouser from Scanlan and Theodore might set back the fight for mother earth. This from a director of the country’s largest pure-play coal miner. She added: “Quite confronting to see what current norms are in affluent countries like the UK, US and Australia.” Yes, she was serious.

And what about Mark Vaile, Whitehaven’s chair, who served almost 10 years on the board of industry superfund Hostplus, which holds 4.8 million shares in WHC – this while Hostplus, on its website, calls climate change “one of the world’s biggest challenges” and “one we take very seriously”.

Hostplus chief investment officer Sam Sicilia.

So sincerely, it seems, that CIO Sam Sicilia keeps backing coal even when he knows it’s the devil. He’s said it enough times on his Twitter account. “Climate change is the most serious issue facing humanity today,” he tweeted in 2019 during some beef with activist account Market Forces, in which he agreed that coal was “part of the problem”.

But it’s the sticky business of divesting from the coal companies that poses the great conundrum.

On the one hand, Sicilia says climate change is “so urgent” that we are “facing extinction unless we take immediate action”. On the other hand: “Divestment from coal shares does not exclude coal companies from impacting climate change – someone will still own the coal shares!”

Might as well be Hostplus.

Around the grounds

Heading up the red-leather chamber’s groundbreaking dissection of the PwC tax scandal should leave little time for extra-curricular activities.

But not so, apparently, for Tasmanian Senator Richard Colbeck, a former sports minister in the Morrison government who’s been turning up at more international events than the actual Sports Minister, Anika Wells.

Colbeck enjoyed hospitality at Lord’s when Australia battled England in the second Ashes Test, followed by an appearance the next day at the Henley Royal Regatta, courtesy of Rowing Australia.

Senator Richard Colbeck. Picture: Martin Ollman

Lately he’s been on the Matildas bandwagon, journeying to see the ladies’ win against Ireland, in Sydney, then their defeat at the hands (or feet?) of Nigeria in Brisbane, and their subsequent triumph against Canada in Melbourne.

Committee work? That PwC inquiry? Why even bother when Greens senator Barbara Pocock and Labor’s Deborah O’Neill are basically running the show. So gormless is Colbeck as its chair that no one even knows he has the job. Senator Katy Gallagher forgot to thank him during a speech in the Senate last week (where she thanked Pocock), and that was after the ABC’s Hamish Macdonald brought O’Neill onto his show, calling her “the chair of the inquiry”.

No, she didn’t correct him.

Oroton addition

Billionaire fund manager Will Vicars has added retailer Melanie Wilson to the board of Oroton Group, apparently in part because of their shared love of golden retrievers. That’s cute.

Wilson chairs Baby Bunting and sits on the board of JB Hi-Fi. Any possibility this bench strengthening might signal an IPO in the near future? Not so, we’re told.

Margin Call hears the results for the year to June 30 have been decent enough. It’s been run by former McKinsey consultant Jenny Child since 2021 and she’s been issued with a small slice of stock in the company.

Baby Bunting director and chair Melanie Wilson.

Revenue for FY23 is said to have risen 20 per cent to $120m, keeping its operations in the black for the second year running. Operating earnings have increased threefold to about $9m, with the final accounts to be submitted in December.

But will there remain such a hot market for dainty clutches and baguettes over the coming months? And no, you oaf, that wasn’t a reference to French bread. Oroton still carries tax losses from the group’s time underperforming before Vicars took ownership control five years ago.