Stumped on what to buy? Here’s the ultimate gift-giving hack

I’ve developed a system for buying presents that hits the spot, even if it misses the jackpot

A few years ago, I texted my son asking what he wanted for Christmas. He replied, a bed header. Good idea. I started researching bed heads with rattan inserts, upholstered bedheads and timber ones. Then, I put my reading glasses on and checked his message to see if he’d offered any clues about styles.

Oh, I said to the computer. What he wanted was much bigger than a bed head; what he wanted cost a million dollars more than a bed head and had doors and a toilet and all the other stuff a one bedder apartment has.

That joke made me question the whole idea of Christmas presents. We have so much stuff we don’t need and, yet, no way of getting the stuff we do need. We buy home décor but can’t afford to buy a home. We refresh car seat covers but can’t upgrade the car. We buy fancy BBQ accessories, but we’re stuck with the old burner. If you think about it too long, Christmas shopping is an exercise in disappointment.

Since then, I’ve developed a system for buying presents that hits the spot, even if it misses the jackpot. The system doesn’t cost a lot of money, it doesn’t even require a mall visit but it takes time. In fact, it involves time travel.

Mentally walk yourself through every moment of your beloved’s life. When they wake, do they reach for a ratty towel and make their way to bathroom where they brush teeth with a disposable toothbrush, stare into a flaky mirror and think, I really need a facial. Four gift ideas, right there.

When they’re riding the bus to work because they can’t afford a car, they might be listening through an iPod (or Walkman?), they might be cursing themselves for not walking because their runners are down at heel and they might be toting a computer satchel designed for a HP Compaq.

At lunch when they grab a sushi roll, they might pass a fancy restaurant and think, if only. Gee, they might eat a Vegemite sandwich and think, if only, when they pass the sushi shop.

And when they retire for the day, are their feet sore cause they don’t have good inserts/posture.

Are they watching ABC news because they can’t afford a streaming service? How about that book they’ve been struggling to read – squinting in the light cast by a lava lamp? I hope you’re taking notes.

If no inspiration comes of accompanying them through their day, go back in time.

If they always dreamt of mountain biking, then a helmet might reignite the passion. Sure, they gave up finger painting at age three but they might like to do charcoal drawing. And if they wanted to be an astronaut, what about a trip to Mt Stromlo to check out what they’re missing?

Next step is to tap into their dreams. On the morning bus, are they dreaming of a weekend away? When they walk along the beach, do they watch surfers and wonder if it’s too late for them – even on a boogie board. If they talk about quitting work to write a book, a leather-clad notebook with silky pages will honour their dreams.

By now, you might have a list of 20 ideas and even if they don’t spark joy on Christmas morning, it’s the thought that counts and you can tell them exactly how many thoughts it took to land on that bag, or helmet or, indeed, socks.

If all else fails, I could send a link for some fine rattan bed heads. Cheap.

Well, relatively cheap.