Airlie, Austin, Blade, Marlin: The rise of ‘the branded child’

Many of today’s names are so reminiscent of the most memorable brands — Nike, Adidas, Coke, et al — you wonder if these kids will have to fight for copyright one day.

In a conversation about happenings at a local childcare centre (and aren’t they happening places), I kept getting distracted by the names that were popping up. Hang on, I said, are you talking about the kids’ names or the brands on their bibs? It turns out, it could be either.

Fashions in names are endlessly interesting. They tell us about the dreams young parents have for their children’s futures. They are infused with the spirit of the times, drawing on ­nature, culture, music, politics and, even, economics. But the intrusion of commerce is a surprise. Welcome to the branded child.

Sifting through the names on the centre’s list finds names that could have been sourced from IP Australia. They are inventive, even original, but they have a whiff of commerce about them. Many are so reminiscent of the most memorable brands — Nike, Adidas, Coke, et al — you wonder if these kids will have to fight for copyright one day.

Airlie, Austin, Blade, Marlin, Navy, Ocean, Storm (there’s a nautical theme there), Remi, Torren, Kingston, Arlo, Koa and Hennessi.

It’s not just the proprietary nature of these names that suggest capitalism has claimed our children, it’s the brevity of them and the fact that so many are the single syllables much loved by branding designers. Taj, Tate, Vann, Bray. You can imagine them on highway billboards, wrapped around a craft beer or being spruiked by a footy star.

Paying homage to the nomenclature of capitalism may seem like a stretch but it wasn’t too long ago that parents would consult their spiritual texts for inspiration. For centuries Catholics wanted children to emulate saints – Mary, Therese, Michael, Francis, Patrick and Joseph. Eastern religions still dominate naming traditions in their home countries and am I right in thinking Anglicans have a penchant for royal names – Elizabeth, James, Victoria?

Another tradition that has waned under the weight of jingle-ready names is honouring family. No one wants to be reminded of grandfather John or great aunt Thelma; they are more interested in forging a future with more muscular monikers. Mind, they might not honour their ancestors but they do give a nod to the ancients. Ayvah, Bohdi, Reina, Zayne, Luca, Thor, Cian, Amaya.

The greats of literature, poets, inspiring politicians and movie stars might have inspired parents in previous years – Thea, Theodore, Marilyn, Marlon, Sylvia – but the classics no longer hold sway.

Instead, you can spot names made for Insta handles – Blade, Maverick, Merci, Phoenix, Pixie, Piper, Swayde, Vance and Kora. And maybe I grew up in more binary times but I suspect a lot of the choices that parents are making for their children are gender-neutral. Lyra, Madden, Quinn, Kylo. I could take a stab at picking their genders but I wouldn’t feel confident about it.

Whether these names are a conscious or unconscious nod to our capitalist times; whether they are sensitive to the gender debates; infused with the branded selves of social media or whether they are a result of a corporate philosophy that insists you are your own brand, they all have a commonality. They are diverse.

For those who grew up in classrooms where Mary, James, Michael, John and Elizabeth occupied every second seat and teachers were forced to use the full names to avoid confusion, this diversity seems stunning. In that list of 150 names, there are 141 different names. And while people might pick themes among those names, each of those names was chosen by parents who wanted them to be special, individual and memorable (which could be another theme).

Post-script. Still waiting for a renaissance of Deirdre. Actually, still waiting for it to be popular. Or spelt correctly.

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