Bad blood: How the Eras Tour is making and breaking friendships

Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour is largely hooked on friendship. Fans exchange homemade friendship bracelets, co-ordinate outfits with each other and practise concert chants together before dancing arm-in-arm at the show.

However, as everyone knows, friendship can be complicated. The emotional intensity associated with significant events like the Eras Tour can test even the most powerful bonds. So, while mutual devotion for the pop star has strengthened some friendships, it has strained others.

Competition over Eras Tour tickets has soured some friendships, highlighting the emotional hold the tour has over some fans. Credit: Jason South

“In the famous words of Taylor Swift: ‘We team up, then switch sides like a record changer,’ ” says Morgan De La Rue, a Melbourne Swiftie who secured tickets to all three Melbourne shows and one Sydney concert.

Though De La Rue hasn’t lost any of her closest friends as a result of her luck with tickets, a number of people in her life – including former classmates, colleagues and people she met at other concerts – blocked her on social media after finding out she was going to multiple shows.

“I think this tour has created a bit of tension,” De La Rue says. “I try to avoid the drama, but I know I’d also be gutted if I missed out.”

The intensity with which Swift fans attempted to buy tickets, and the way many people reacted to missing out, may not make sense to everyone. The Eras Tour is just a concert after all, so why risk a friendship over it?

Some fans, including Morgan De La Rue, express their devotion to Swift by collecting as much merchandise as possible. Credit: Joe Armao

Well, for many fans, it’s not just a concert. Catherine Strong, an associate professor in sociology at RMIT, says the pop star has reached unprecedented levels of celebrity, infiltrating sectors well beyond the music industry, including the economy and even the NFL. The Eras Tour itself officially became the highest-grossing music tour ever in December.

“It’s at a level I’ve never seen before,” Strong says. “People feel like this is genuinely a once-in-a-lifetime event. So, it makes sense to want to prioritise that, or to make decisions that may seem unusual, especially if you really love Swift.”

De La Rue agrees, adding that extreme competition for tickets – Australian tickets sold out in a matter of hours and each fan could only purchase a maximum of four tickets – has soured certain relationships.

“Everyone has to be a little more selective about who they’re bringing. Feelings are bound to get hurt when you tell a friend you’ve picked someone else.”

President of the University of Melbourne’s Swiftie Society Ashley Ng says ticket distribution has created some tension. She managed to secure two tickets for one of the Melbourne shows, meaning she could only offer a ticket to one of 10 hopeful friends.

“Many of them had accepted their fate, but were still devastated. For some of my friends, this would have been the first Taylor concert since they became a fan ... To tell them I couldn’t give them that – it hurt.”

Though none of her friends seem resentful, she says the tour remains a sensitive subject – one she consistently avoids for fear of upsetting her ticketless friends. “I didn’t want to hide my excitement for the show, but I also didn’t want to make them sad every time I talked about Taylor,” Ng says.

De La Rue says fandoms often create hierarchies to differentiate between “true” fans and general enthusiasts. Consequently, people can end up questioning how “deserving” others are of tickets.

Ashley Ng has felt some tension with friends since she managed to secure tickets to Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour.Credit: Wayne Taylor

“Some of the most die-hard Swifties firmly believe if you want to be there, you should be able to sing along to any surprise song she throws into her set. Others say it shouldn’t matter if you don’t know a single lyric, it’s fine to want to go.”

Associate professor and gender researcher at Curtin University Samantha Owen says Swift’s brand, which is propelled by friendship and her “girl squad”, can perpetuate fans’ desire to prove their devotion among friends. “The investment in Swift is an investment in the friendship experience, but also an opportunity to dominate in the group.”

Swift could also be the linchpin to some friendships, Owen says. If only half of the group gets tickets, the other half may feel the friendship loses some sense of meaning or purpose.

Senior psychology lecturer at RMIT Dr James Collett says it’s ultimately impossible to compare fans’ devotion to an artist because everyone expresses it differently. Tickets were also luck of the draw, making any feelings of injustice moot.

“I understand why people are so passionate about wanting to go because it’s a one-off limited event. But friendships are long-term things. You don’t want to discard a friendship for one night.”

Some friendships haven’t been impacted by ticket dilemmas, but have complicated Eras Tour plans.

Flynn Harfull, a 19-year-old from South Australia, bought tickets with three friends last year. However, during a cruise holiday a few months later, they fell out over unrelated issues, causing the group to split in two.

“One of my ex-friends was the one who managed to get all of our tickets, which I had already paid for. Late last year, I tried contacting them regarding the ticket ... but got shot down quickly,” he says.

Harfull then heard the ex-friends were supposedly planning to sell his ticket to someone else. Thankfully, he says this didn’t happen and he has since been transferred the tickets.

“It will be a little awkward before the concert commences, but once it starts we will all be too invested in Taylor to worry about our drama,” Harfull says. “Swapping seats with others is definitely something we considered, but we decided against it so as not to fuel the fire.”

Collett agrees with this decision, adding that Swift’s show could be the perfect place to mend fractured bonds or at least establish a truce.

“A lot of Swift’s music is about the importance of friendship in life … A friendship bracelet could be a great peace offering.”

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