My entire team is paranoid about what to wear to our Christmas party

Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on workplace, career and leadership in her advice column, Got a Minute? This week: an office party dress code, a snooping manager and a job title dilemma.

Navigating office dress codes can be difficult, but speaking to an employee one on one can be a good start.Credit: Dionne Gain

A snarky all-office email went out concerning staff dress code for the office Christmas party and referenced people not dressing appropriately in the past. These emails are no fun to receive and bad for office morale. The email was patronising and passive-aggressive, and since it didn’t mention specifics of who was inappropriately dressed, everyone is convinced it was them. We are all worried about this rather than doing our job. What is appropriate behaviour for addressing these issues?

First, let’s hope you can still have a fun Christmas party and no one is publicly berated for dressing inappropriately (or anything else). To be fair, the approach your organisation has taken sounds well-intentioned although badly executed. I also can’t help but have a small giggle at the idea everyone is worried they were the one being targeted for dressing inappropriately – your workplace sounds like you throw one hell of a party!

Ideally, your employer would speak to the person/s they had the issue with and explain, specifically, what the concern was. Then a general email just gently reminding everyone of the staff dress code is usually fine. I wonder whether your organisation has lost trust with you and your colleagues for other reasons, and this email is yet another example of why you feel you need to second-guess their intent? If so, that is a bigger challenge they will need to address.

Our new manager immediately had IT provide him with access to our emails. My manager not only reads them, but gets involved and sends replies – even on emails he’s not copied on. It is highly offensive. He goes through our old emails too, following up with customers on whether things have been done. He has had complaints from our team but says company policy states he is allowed access. We are all over his behaviour. What rights do we have?

This is really shocking behaviour, so forgive me if I just ask about the obvious piece of missing information since that is the only way I can even begin to understand his thinking. Is there a reason your manager might need to be micromanaging at this level? For example, has there been any serious performance issues for customers which may mean your new manager has been told to get involved in everything?

If not, then he sounds like an overly zealous manager who thinks he is leading effectively by reading every word you write; he needs some serious leadership coaching and feedback. As a team, I would request a meeting with someone more senior to discuss your concerns. You can also contact Fair Work for advice on your rights and whether this behaviour would be considered unreasonable (in a legal sense) if you chose to take further action.

I have been in my current job for 18 months. I very much enjoy it, work with great people and have been supported in further study. I have received an above average pay rise, and I work with multiple departments. However, I would like a better job title. The title is why I nearly didn’t apply for the job. How can I approach my boss about changing it?

Titles definitely cause a lot of angst. So much of our sense of self – professional and personal – can be tied up in how we present ourselves to the world. We often believe nothing says more about us in a professional setting than our title. But titles come with a lot of ego, too. I have also seen excellent people tie themselves up in knots about their title and soon find themselves considered difficult by others.

It sounds like you are well respected and doing a fantastic job in your current role, so you do not want to do anything to jeopardise this. My advice, if you really want the title changed, is to find reasons why the current title is not fully representative of what you do for those who matter, such as customers or clients. For example, do key stakeholders in your industry expect to speak to someone called “director” and not “manager”? It is sufficient to ask to change it just because you would like it to sound more impressive or important. And if your boss says no, I would leave it alone. Wait until you apply for your next role or promotion, and then you can make sure you negotiate the title that works best before you start.

To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask. You will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited.

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