A colleague’s past has resurfaced. Now I can’t look at him
Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on workplace, career and leadership in her advice column, Got a Minute? This week: a colleague with a disturbing past, questioning a working mother’s commitment to her job, and racism tolerated in the workplace.
Once you have learnt about a colleague’s dark past, is it possible to continue to happily work alongside them?Credit: Dionne Gain
Our factory team had a new workmate join us about six months ago, and he has fitted in well. However, someone was recently informed about his past. When we Googled his name, we discovered he was charged with historical child sex offences more than a decade ago. The matter didn’t go to court and the charges were withdrawn. I just can’t look at him the same way now. Others in the team feel the same. It is really difficult information to ignore. What do you advise?
This is a difficult situation and I can imagine it was shocking news to hear. I am sure your workmate has had to deal with his past being uncovered before. First, your colleague has not been found guilty of a crime. As abhorrent as the allegations might be, he never had the opportunity to prove his innocence, or be found guilty, so we will never know what happened. The rule of law is the bedrock of our justice system and one that serves us all.
If there is someone in your team your workmate is close with, they could let him know the team is now aware of his past. He will either choose to move on or may provide some background information to give you his perspective. Meanwhile, no one should vilify, harm, bully or harass your workmate. Ultimately, he must be allowed to live his life and go to work unimpeded and treated just as he was before you learnt this news. If this feels impossible, you should probably confide in HR or a leader in your workplace about why you may wish to be transferred to another team.
I have been with my employer from start-up to its current success. I am well respected and was the first woman to take maternity leave. However, my pregnancy and return to work has felt like a real inconvenience to the business. My son started daycare when I returned, and his frequent illnesses have required me to take carer’s leave. I also became unwell and took a couple of sick days, with medical certificates. Upon my return, I was told, “we need your commitment to the business”, despite my efforts to work while unwell. I feel pressured to prioritise the business over my family commitments, leaving me feeling trapped and vulnerable in my career. Any advice?
Your employer sounds like they find it easy to say all the right words but when it comes to actually walking the talk, they get frustrated when reality gets in the way. They are keen to support parents at work but would prefer you work as though you are not a parent.
It is clear you are committed to your employer while also balancing the rest of your life. I guess my question is, does it feel like your employer is committed to you? Workplace loyalty, respect and commitment is a two-way street. If they are not prepared to commit to supporting you through the different phases of your life, just as you have supported them through the different phases of the business, I would find an employer who will.
Despite my employer’s stated zero tolerance policy on bullying, racism, and harassment, I’ve witnessed these behaviours almost daily and have personally experienced them as well. When I voiced my objections, I was reprimanded rather than supported. A colleague who shares my ethnic background simply said, “Welcome to Australia”. Why don’t they just put up a board that simply says, “non-white Australians are not welcome here”? Are there actually any organisations that really listen to your concerns?
I am so angry this is your experience. It is totally unacceptable and for an employer that says they have zero tolerance. They’re clearly not living up to their own values. I know there are organisations who would find the behaviour you have experienced unacceptable and would do something about it. Those employers would root out the bullies and racists and make sure anyone from any ethnic background was welcomed with open arms.
Visit Diversity Council Australia’s website where you will find 1365 employers listed, accounting for more than two million working Australians. These organisations value Australians like you and will not tolerate the behaviour you have experienced.
To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask. You will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited.
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