I survived breast cancer. Shame my marriage didn’t

Being diagnosed with breast cancer five years ago was a complete shock. I had no symptoms or family history and was told I was “young” to be considered at risk. Once the shock settled and I went through treatment, it was as I had expected: scary, painful, confusing and expensive. But there was one devastating part of my breast cancer experience that I never saw coming: divorce.

The day I was diagnosed, I never imagined it would be my marriage that ended up terminal. After all, when the doctor uttered those stomach-churning words “you have cancer”, I was consoled by the fact I had a loving husband and two children, and we lived in our cosy family home. I never dreamt that just 18 months later, I would be living alone in a rental apartment, supporting myself and facing two more surgeries after my marriage had irretrievably broken down.

Kate Browne survived breast cancer only to confront a terminal marriage and financial hardship. She soon learnt she was far from alone.

Five years later, I’m in remission and my health is good. But I can’t say the same for my finances. A cancer diagnosis can be like dropping a bomb not only into the life of the person affected but the people around them, too. It’s called the ripple effect and the ongoing costs are labelled “financial toxicity” in the cancer world. But just how far do those ripples travel? And what are the resulting costs?

In my role as the head of research at the personal finance brokerage Compare Club, I had seen plenty of anecdotal evidence from other breast cancer survivors online and in conversation with my medical specialists, which made me keen to unpack some of the hidden costs of the cancer. So we surveyed 400 breast cancer survivors who shared the impact of a cancer diagnosis, not only on their health but on their finances.

When it comes to cancer and divorce, I am far from alone. Our survey suggests breast cancer survivors might be as many as 10 times more likely to get divorced or separate than the average Australian. While it was not possible to make a direct comparison, our figures reflect international research showing women with serious illnesses such as cancer are six times more likely to experience separation or divorce than if the patient was a man.

Our survey respondents pointed to the knock-on effects on their mental health and financial health as a result of being left by their partners at their most vulnerable. They didn’t pull their punches about their experiences.

One said her husband walked out while she was still recovering from surgery in the weeks after diagnosis, while others said their partners had filed for divorce a year after their diagnosis. One said her husband ended their 26-year marriage when she was diagnosed, while another said her ex admitted he found her illness “irritating”. Another said: “My partner made my illness all about them.”

Zurich Australia’s 2024 cost-of-care report says the lifetime cost of breast cancer is $40,000. It’s a lot of money, but that’s before relationship breakdowns are factored in. My out-of-pocket costs were about $20,000 in the first year of treatment; it was steep, but I figured I was done. However, it turned out I was far from done: weekly physio, lymphedema care, scans, specialist appointments, psych sessions and another two major surgeries cost me a further $18,000 over the next two years.

Then there’s the cost of divorce. I shelled out more than $10,000 on lawyers to fight for my half of our assets after mediation failed. In the end, we settled on a “fair” 50/50 split. Fair for whom? My ex-husband enjoyed perfect health, a decent super balance and stellar career progression during our marriage while I stayed at home and worked part-time raising our kids. Just as they were old enough for me to start working full time and get my career back on track, I was diagnosed with cancer. He got to move on with his life. I still live in fear of a cancer recurrence derailing me for good.

Again, I am far from alone. Women in Australia already earn less, have less super, and, as society’s caregivers, often sacrifice careers and earning capacity.

Although more people are being diagnosed with cancer, the good news is that survival rates have never been better. But as more of us survive, where is the focus on cancer’s long-term effects? As the pink ribbons take centre stage this month, I would love to see a focus on helping survivors get back on their feet beyond the hospital doors. Surviving the physical fallout is far more possible now, but surviving the financial fallout of cancer still leaves Australian women far behind.

Kate Browne is the head of research at Compare Club, Australia’s largest personal finance brokerage.