Our colleague’s clowning is getting old. How do we tell them to stop?

We have a colleague who has taken it upon themselves to be the life of the party. They make repeated and frequent attempts to lighten the mood in our office.

I understand that times have been tough in our industry and the economy generally, so this person might feel they are performing a kindness. But it’s not appreciated. Some of us put on a fake smile and pretend to chuckle along, but most of us are now fed up and really wish this Patch Adams stuff would stop.

What if this poor person feels like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill, simply because they’re misinterpreting the smiling and chuckling as a sign?Credit: John Shakespeare

Goodness. “This Patch Adams stuff” might be the most coolly brutal description of a co-worker’s behaviour I’ve been sent. It’s also evocative – and I have to admit, the thought of an office worker spending large parts of their day walking from desk to desk and performing like a circus clown makes me cringe.

My main piece of advice would be to keep in mind your own concession: that your colleague is doing this in the spirit of public-minded generosity. It sounds like this is something that started in the not-too-distant past (as opposed to being something they’ve always done), and perhaps they consider it a kind of duty.

There are a few hints in your longer email that suggest to me this overly jovial act might be something the actor themselves has grown tired of.

Could it be that, far from trying to be annoying or foisting manufactured good cheer on the rest of you, they might be doing something they don’t particularly enjoy or want to do any more, mistakenly believing it’s for the good of morale?

They may need ‘permission’ to stop this tired act.

What if this poor person feels like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill simply because they’re misinterpreting the smiling and chuckling as a sign their entertainment remains … well, entertaining?

If this sounds plausible, my first suggestion would be to speak with your other colleagues about bringing their polite, forced receptiveness to an end. They don’t need to be stony-faced or make overt shows of indignation; they just need to make it clear that the show has run its course and is neither fun nor necessary.

If you feel you need to be more direct, it’s possible to address this verbally without hurting the performer’s feelings. See if someone in your team – ideally, a person with a naturally gentle and tactful manner – is willing to approach them privately.

The conversation shouldn’t start and end with a blunt “please stop”; instead, it might begin as a discussion about morale and the atmosphere within the office, then lead to a subtle suggestion that they shouldn’t feel responsible for lightening the mood.

It could also be that this self-styled jester simply lacks self-awareness. Or they may be a flat-out pain in the neck. My inkling is that they need something akin to “permission” to stop this tired act. Offer it and I think you might find your corporate Patch Adams hangs up their enormous boots.

Send your questions to Work Therapy by emailing [e-mail]

The Business Briefing newsletter delivers major stories, exclusive coverage and expert opinion. Sign up to get it every weekday morning.