My colleague is being ridiculed for burping. How should I deal with this?

A new starter at the company I work for comes from a culture where it is socially acceptable to burp after a meal. This person burps two to three times a day in our open plan office. The problem is that my colleagues now make rude comments and joke about it behind their back.

This bothers me as I often interact with the person, so I don’t want them to become the laughing stock of the entire office. At the same time, as they don’t know this person well, my colleagues are uncomfortable about speaking to them about their concerns. I have tried gently dropping hints to the person but to no avail. Do you have any suggestions on how to clue them in?

Learning local social norms is an important part of being a newcomer at work.Credit: John Shakespeare

This is one of those workplace problems that looks small on the surface, but which could become more serious if it’s left unaddressed. Being an object of office ridicule, especially when you’re not deliberately provoking a negative reaction, is an awful position for anyone to be in.

I spoke with Dr Zitong Sheng about your question. She is a senior lecturer in management (organisational behaviour) in the department of management at the Deakin Business School.

“The situation described involves a complex interplay of organisational and cultural factors, which is perhaps why the inquirer feels conflicted about how to approach it. This clash of cultural norms adds another layer of complexity, as what is considered acceptable in one culture might be perceived as inappropriate in another. I want to commend the inquirer for their concern for their colleague’s wellbeing. It requires care to approach such issues and courage to take actions.”

Sheng said that learning local social norms is a vitally important part of newcomers being integrated into their new workplace.

Being an object of office ridicule, especially when you’re not deliberately provoking a negative reaction, is an awful position for anyone to be in.

“The process of socialisation helps newcomers fit and thrive in the organisation. From the scenario it sounds like subtle hints have been dropped but deemed ineffective. This is somewhat understandable, as to a newcomer everything in the environment sends new cues to them and their cognitive capacity may have been fully utilised,” Sheng said.

“A direct and open dialogue may be necessary. The key is for such dialogue to come from someone the newcomer trusts. Does your organisation have a mentorship or ‘buddy’ program? Is there anyone in the organisation who does regular check-ins with the person to see how they are doing?”

Sheng said if such a meeting existed it would be an excellent avenue to have such conversations because it won’t make the new person feel targeted. And any discussion can “naturally transition to talking about cultural differences”.

“The fact that many colleagues make rude comments or jokes suggests a systemic issue that requires effort from the organisation. It indicates that a culture of mutual respect and understanding may not have been clearly conveyed to its members. These minor forms of rudeness, condescension or ostracism often seem trivial, which makes them challenging to address.”

But, Sheng said, it was important that they were addressed. Ideally, that would be done proactively, before they become a problem, through something like a staff onboarding program which emphasises cultural sensitivity. But if one doesn’t exist at your work, she suggests a much less formal approach.

“I want to suggest considering humour as a powerful tool to foster open dialogue and address sensitive issues like the one described. Humour, when used appropriately, can help break down barriers and ease tensions. Inserting some humour makes it easier to discuss cultural differences without causing discomfort,” Sheng said.

“Of course, it is crucial that such humour is inclusive and done with care and respect. Instead of targeting or ridiculing the newcomer behind their back, people who have a trusting relationship with them may consider doing some light-hearted jokes about the burping, if deemed appropriate. Often, the belief that certain topics are off-limits is a misconception, and discussing these issues openly with good intentions is the best approach.”

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