Social media ban 101: How to stop your kid getting around it and other tips

From December 10, and likely earlier, the social media profiles of Australians under 16 will go dark. Platforms will be obliged to deny under-16s applying for new accounts, and those newly turned 16 may struggle to prove their age.

Much of the coverage of the issue thus far has focused on worthy questions like what good the age requirements will ultimately do, why the government has made the choices it has made, how social media companies will comply, and what negative impacts kids and teens may face. But here, we’re focusing on the practical. The ban is happening, so here’s what you need to know and what you can do.

Teens may be upset that something they like is being taken away, but with some help they may find there are plenty of alternatives to TikTok and Instagram.Credit: Pexels

What is the Social Media Minimum Age law, in a nutshell?

Australia’s new restrictions are a world first. The government has argued that social media companies have failed to make their products safe for kids, and so it is taking steps to keep those under 16 off social media entirely.

A platform will be subject to the restriction if it has the sole or significant purpose of enabling online social interaction, allowing users to post content and interact with other users. However, there are also a range of exclusions, including for online games, and apps focused purely on messaging. So far, the platforms that the government considers subject to the restriction are:

• Facebook
• Instagram
• Snapchat
• Threads
• TikTok
• X
• YouTube
• Kick
• Reddit
• Twitch

To comply with the law and avoid significant fines, these platforms will need to take reasonable measures to exclude users under 16 from December 10.

How is my child’s life going to be affected?

If they are under 16 and on any of these platforms, they’ll likely receive a notice or notification that their account is being closed or frozen. If they’re 16 or over they may be asked to verify their age, depending on how the platform is complying.

Ultimately though, the rules mean under 16s will not be able to use these platforms going forward. If they’re accustomed to consuming content, reading news, keeping up with influencers or connecting with their friends on the platforms, they may be facing a significant change to their digital life. If they were looking forward to using one of these platforms at 13, they face an additional three-year wait.

Every teen is different and the list of affected apps is broad enough that there will likely be a variety of impacts. Some may not be bothered at all, while others may feel that their entire connection to certain friends is being severed.

Some may feel like their membership to certain communities is being revoked. If they produce popular content they may feel they’ve lost an audience.

Some may even feel relieved. Not all kids are big fans of social media.

Is the ban a good thing?

Many commentators have pointed to holes or inconsistencies in the government’s approach, or likely workarounds that users may employ, or the potential for Australian kids to miss out. But the methodology is ultimately a separate issue from the question: should kids use social media?

The government’s view is that negative impacts of social media, including the viewing of harmful and upsetting content, is inevitable. I’d add that, over the past decade, social media has had a massive negative impact on health, discourse and politics. It’s also meant many kids learn attitudes and behaviour from algorithmically suggested content, which is practically built to radicalise and factionalise, and is often indifferent to qualities of education or truthfulness.

Social media is bad for us, physiologically. It is designed to hold our attention, form habits and drive attachment. It increases the amount of time we spend hunched over screens, robs our attention from people who are physically present, and encourages us to value thoughts and creations in terms of how much currency they attract. What we see, and the flow of that currency, is ultimately controlled by private companies extracting as much money from us as possible.

Does that mean it should be banned or age-limited? After all, there are many things that are bad in some measure that we don’t limit in the same way; caffeine, sugar, advertising, combat sports. So this ban puts social media in the same category as smoking, alcohol or gambling. Informed adults can choose to subject themselves to it (and certainly, plenty of adults have developed harmful views or maladaptive behaviours as a result of social media), but kids and young teens who are actively developing their minds and bodies are kept away.

What can I do to help my child?

The most important first step would be to have an open conversation to find out if your child understands the rules, if they are worried or upset about them, how they’re accustomed to using the affected platforms, and if they have questions. The office of the eSafety commissioner has many suggestions for this, but to summarise:

• Arm yourself with the facts about the ages and platforms affected, and be prepared to explain why the changes are being made. Remind them they’ll still have access when they’re 16, and they still currently have access to the huge majority of the internet, as age-appropriate.
• Listen to their concerns, and encourage them to express what they like about social media. Be patient, because it’s possible they’ve never interrogated this before.
• Help them accept the changes and discover alternative outlets (see below).

Since kids absorb many behaviours and attitudes that their parents model, this could also be a good opportunity to reset the house rules around social media and screen time. Many parents of young teens may have solidified these rules five or more years ago.

In discussing your child’s social media use, you could also discuss your own. Maybe you’ve noticed some negative impacts of social media use? Perhaps you’re also interested in moving from your app of choice to something less consuming?

Using Screen Time (on iPhone) or Digital Wellbeing (on Android) you can see how much time you use in each app. You can also set limits on when apps can be used, or notifications received.

Some ideas for house rules could be no distracting apps (for any house member) between 3pm and 7pm. Or you could aim for a goal of four hours of screen time per day total. Or there could be a phone-free schedule.

If you show you’re invested in avoiding the negative impacts of your own screen and social media use, it could make it easier for them.

How can I help them find alternatives to social media?

Social media absolutely has upsides. Aside from making us feel good, it makes it possible for people to connect based on shared interests, passions and proclivities, rather than limiting them to the people and content available in their geographic area.

But while this could be an excuse to get outside more, it doesn’t mean your child now has to hang out with the neighbours’ kids like we did before the internet.

If they’re worried or upset about missing out, there are plenty of alternatives, it’s just a matter of working out what they were getting from the services before. It could be helpful for them to make a map of the people, brands, influencers, subjects and communities they want to keep in touch with.

For close friends, there are still apps available. Meta’s Messenger or WhatsApp could make most sense if they’re already using Instagram or Facebook, but they could also text, email, video call or use any of a whole range of age-appropriate chat apps. The important thing is organising the contacts and group chats now because it may be more difficult to find and add their friends once none of them are on socials. You could also suggest regular catch-ups in real life.

If they use the apps to look back on photos, memories and content, they should download it now. All the affected apps have a way to get a user’s personal content onto a PC or a phone’s local storage. They can also share this content with trusted friends using services like iCloud, Google Photos, Amazon Photos, Dropbox or Flickr.

For keeping up with favourite content creators or influencers, you should check where else the content is posted. Is there a blog or newsletter? Are they on Patreon or podcast services? Also keep in mind that several platforms on the ban list, including YouTube, let you consume content without logging in. There’s no reason your child can’t keep watching, they just can’t have an account.

The trickiest bit may be finding alternatives for connecting with communities that are important to your child. Especially for queer kids, Indigenous kids, or culturally and linguistically diverse kids, spaces like Reddit may be the only access they feel they have to others in their community, and because they’re largely anonymous, it’s not as easy to find another space where all these people are. It may be a good idea to encourage them to ask their community for advice on alternatives before they lose access, or get in touch with a support service (there are some linked above).

As your child moves to different services, it’s worth remembering that there are online dangers apart from algorithmic social media – like bullies, predators and scammers – so reiterate the safety basics. Never give identifying information online. Scrutinise any person or service asking you to send anything. Always tell an adult if anything feels off or something upsetting happens.

What about circumventing the ban?

Conventional wisdom would indicate that young people will get around any block enforced by oldies if they have enough motivation. The government has been clear that using social media as an under 16 is not a crime, and no child or parent will be punished. The law only requires the platforms to try to keep underage users out.

However, while many users are likely to try to lie about their age or access the services using a VPN, they might not be as successful as you’d expect. In this case, if the platform knows your child is under 16, their account will be locked. If they make a new one, they’ll need to prove they’re over 16. If they pretend they’re from another country, they may get access but the platforms’ algorithms will be on the lookout for telltale signs of underage Australians.

The bigger problem for those sneaking into the services will be that most other young Australians will no longer there.

If you want your child to abide by the rules but are concerned they’re sneaking into the apps, you could use parental controls (either on your home internet router or your phone, assuming you’ve set up parental controls for your family) to block the apps. Services will also have mechanisms for you to report accounts as underage.

Get news and reviews on technology, gadgets and gaming in our Technology newsletter every Friday. Sign up here.