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Open season on top seeds

On the back of the announcement “Happy Bundling Out Season!” from Alan Wells of Farmborough Heights, Della Strathen of Bowral thinks: “The Australian Open may signal that summer is here, but you know it has really arrived when hot water comes out the cold water tap!”

George Manojlovic of Mangerton returns: “I remember when Paul the Octopus made a few astute predictions during the FIFA World Cup some years ago. Well, it appears I have a bird in my garden that knows a bit about the Australian Open Tennis. I don’t know what species it is but each morning I’m greeted with ‘It’s Tsitsipas’, over and over. I think it could be responding to an owl, but who?”

For Joshua Steele (C8), the bread company behind the ‘What You Eat Today, Walks and Talks Tomorrow’ slogan was Teague’s Bread, advises Adrian Bell of Davistown.

“It’s always good to know when a sport is cracking down on unacceptable off-field player behaviour,” reckons George Zivkovic of Northmead. “Apparently the NRL’s no-fault stand-down policy relates to players charged with an offence that potentially carries a sentence of 11 years or more in gaol. Now that’s what I call zero tolerance.

Going up. “To answer Meri Will and Peter Neufeld (C8), an elevator is a cunning device for getting one’s name mentioned in C8 more than once,” Adrian Connelly of Springwood. “Really lifts the spirits.”

“I am so pleased to hear of the recent invention (C8) of ‘cat bibs’,” says Colin Taylor-Evans of Lane Cove. “Not to stop drool, but scientifically proven to give our rapidly depleting wildlife extra time to escape.” And with Colin’s offering, we’re going to wrap up the invention discussion but not before reflecting on this tale of woe from Frank Paterson of Mount Annan: “I believe there was once a patent application for a universal solvent. Unfortunately, the inventor could not find a container in which to store it.”

“What is worse than car park amnesia (C8)?” asks Piri Walsh of Double Bay. “It’s driving your brand-new car into a car park and then later looking for your old car.”

“My daughter and I were driving to Dubbo on Wednesday and I noticed an advance information sign for the rest area at Two Mile Creek, 2 km further north. Surely, this sign should have been placed and written 3.2 km before the rest area,” thinks Chris Wilkinson of Turramurra.

Column8@smh.com.au

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Original URL: https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw/open-season-on-top-seeds-20230119-p5cdql.html