Andrew Maxwell of Kurmond doesn’t hold back when leaving treats for Rudolph and friends (C8): “We went through a period where rolled oats mixed with glitter was the preferred offering. It would be sprinkled on the front veranda and I expected to be able to head outside and easily blow the oats into the adjacent garden. Who knew slugs liked oats? Which made it difficult to blow away the ‘reindeer food’, and I’m sure slugs were confused with glistening sprinkles stuck all over them, too.”
For Seppo Ranki (C8) of Glenhaven, the dog really did eat his groundwork: “Point of order, Meri Will, the cold beer went back in the fridge, as I had already partaken wine with our Christmas Eve dinner. Samoyeds always look like they are smiling, but I swear Tiffany’s smile was extra big on Christmas morning.”
Kids are cruel. Especially in the festive season: “Christmas, 1916, and my then 6-year-old uncle Jack, had asked Santa for a pony,” writes Bob Doepel of Greenway (ACT). “His two older cousins told him he should leave a bucket of water and some hay by the fence, so the pony had food and water. Jack obeyed. During the night the evil cousins removed some of the water and hay, tied a halter to the fence, and deposited some horse manure on the ground. On Christmas morning they told Jack that his pony must have escaped. Little Jack spent the rest of the day searching the surrounding countryside for his ‘lost’ pony.”
Purchasing beef cheeks (C8) may have been problematic for Lizzy McLean, but for Ann Babington of Thornton, it meant playing the long game: “Soon after metric measurements were introduced, I asked a butcher for three kilometres of rump steak. It took us both about 10 seconds to realise what I had said and a lot longer to stop laughing.”
This could just be hot air but Nola Tucker’s drone theory (C8) has Jock Brodie of Port Macquarie thinking: “Has anyone checked whether the Northern Illinois Bottlecap Balloon Brigade has graduated from balloons to drones?”
Michael Fletcher of Ulsan, Korea “can clearly remember the juggle of needing to signal with one arm out the window (C8), steer and change gear on a three-speed column shift Holden all at the same time. It became an art form.” Granny wonders if Michael also employed the left foot resting on the console technique.
Column8@smh.com.au
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