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This was published 11 months ago
‘High heels and a bustier?’ Richard Wilkins on his son’s fashion choices
Entertainment journalist Richard Wilkins, 69, and his son Christian, 28, an actor, model and author, have always been close. As Christian relocates to the US for his career, their relationship is entering a new chapter.
Richard Wilkins: “Some people say he’s a chip off the old block, but I think Christian’s better than me.”Credit: James Brickwood.
Christian: My first memory of Dad is driving to the Blue Mountains with him. I was four and giggling the whole ride because he and I were wearing matching Timberland shoes. I thought that was super-cool.
My parents [Christian’s mother is Michelle Burke] split up when I was 18 months old. The best thing they did when they divorced was never shit-talking each other, and their custody agreement was very fluid.
Dad and I always did things together that felt so exciting, like riding the monorail around Sydney. He lived right in the city centre then and I thought it was so glamorous that we could just run across to David Jones and buy Christmas decorations or nip out to art galleries and museums and look at dinosaur bones.
Dad has always completely supported me. I remember when I was three, I refused to go to bed until I’d lip-synced Kylie’s On a Night Like This, wearing a pink feather boa and silk chinoiserie pyjamas he’d brought back from China. At high school, for a textiles project, I made a dress. For years, Dad would make me bring it out to show everyone.
You just assume this kind of support is normal. It wasn’t until I started going out to gay bars and making gay friends that I realised so many people have really negative stories about coming out to their parents.
Years ago, some of Dad’s friends told me that Dad really wanted me to come out to him. Days later, I went into his office crying because I felt I was being forced to do something I didn’t want to do. I said, “I’m being told you want me to say something.” He hugged me and said, “Darling, if you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about, you don’t need to say anything for me. If you need to say something for you, then go ahead. But know that I love you regardless.” And I never said it. That was actually something really special: we’ve never had to talk about it.
‘I’m always trying to weasel vegies into him; it’s like reverse-parenting.’
Christian Wilkins
I moved in with Dad in year 11 and stayed until about halfway through COVID, when I bought my own home. We have this weird shorthand where he can look at me, say just two words and I can answer whatever question he’s about to ask. It saves quite a lot of time.
I do wish he’d expand his diet beyond bread, butter and sausages and potatoes. I’m always trying to weasel vegies into him; it’s like reverse-parenting.
We watch lots of TV together. Always the six o’clock news; I have no interest in the news, but it’s a weird bonding thing. One time, we watched Game of Thrones. I’ll never do that again. Admittedly, everyone’s dirty and hairy and covered in fur, but Dad has an awful memory and not great eyesight. He was like, “Who’s that?” “Who’s she?” “Where are they going?” “What’s happening?” I’d say, “They spell it out for you. Like, ‘Hello, Robert Baratheon, welcome to King’s Landing.’ If you shut up for long enough, they’ll tell you exactly who they are and where they’re going.”
I’m one of five siblings. It’s in Dad’s character to care about his loved ones deeply. Perhaps there’s an element of ego in there – we’re his spawn – but also, he’s just got a really big heart. He and I talk every day. It’s a really special thing to be able to call your parent your friend.
Richard: Christian was born surrounded by so much love and expectation; his mum and I were extraordinarily happy. I’d been married before, and had children before, whom I obviously adore, too. He was just an absolute delight from the word go. From an early age, he was running around the house, singing and dancing, grabbing a frock from somewhere and pulling on a tutu. I remember playing Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On and, on the key change in the big chorus, he’d leap onto the ottoman and throw his arms into the air. It was, “Okay, we’ve got Mr Personality here!”
I’d take him into work at The Today Show [on Nine, which publishes Good Weekend]. I’d pick him up in the morning with a blanket to keep warm and put him in my dressing room. I had a sign, “Child sleeping”, on the door.
When Michelle and I parted ways, it was a crazy old time for both of us, but there was never any shortage of love for Christian. If he was with me and I had to travel overseas or interstate for work, he’d come.
I’ve always taken him to events. Early on, when he was finding his feet style-wise, we’d be off to the ARIAs or similar and he’d come down in a miniskirt or something. I’d say, “Really? High heels and a bustier?” And he’d say, “Yes, Dad, it’s fine. It’s called fashion.”
‘He’s had stuff – unnecessary stuff, bordering on bullying – written about him ... If I was a plumber or a schoolteacher, that wouldn’t happen.’
Richard Wilkins
For a long time, it was just Christian and me in this house. I loved it. I’d like all my kids to come home. When he moved to LA a few months ago, it was quite a shock. There was a big period of adjustment for me. He left his pussy cat, Kylie, here, which I encouraged him to do, so at least I’m hanging on to a part of him.
He’s a fabulous cook. I’m old school in that department: lamb chops with peas, mashed potato and too much mint sauce would be my favourite. Or Chinese takeaway. Christian wants me to stick around for a while, so he encourages me to eat broccoli and exercise and drink responsibly, which I do.
My high profile sometimes brings nastiness out in people. He’s had stuff – unnecessary stuff, bordering on bullying – written about him in the papers. If I was a plumber or a schoolteacher, that wouldn’t happen. I’m fiercely protective of him.
One day he told me he’d written a [children’s] book [Princess Mitchell, out next month, about a tutu-wearing boy who picks flowers during his football games]. It’s seriously magnificent. And it’s true. I found the photos the other day of him picking flowers on the side of the field.
Some people say he’s a chip off the old block, but I think Christian’s better than me. He has wisdom beyond his years and puts so much love out into the world. It’s his time. I think he’s set for a spectacular life.
To read more from Good Weekend magazine, visit our page at The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age and Brisbane Times.