Do I really need to take my Wednesday pills on … Wednesday?

My doctor prescribed new pills. I’m to take one on days when my symptoms give me trouble. The pills have been dispensed in a pack marked with the days of the week. Does this mean that if the symptoms occur on a Wednesday, I should take the pill marked “Wednesday”?
J.D., Lindfield, NSW

Credit: Illustration by Simon Letch

I mean, sure, you could try to be rebellious. You could say to yourself, “I’m not afraid of Big Pharma! I’m going to take a non-Wednesday pill on a Wednesday! If they track me down and interrogate me, I’ll just say my fat fingers slipped and popped out the wrong pill. Yeah. I’ll say that.” Then you lock all your doors, draw the curtains, listen out for pharmacists abseiling down from choppers. All clear. Here goes. But when you try popping out that non-Wednesday pill, your fingers may start shaking, cramping. Your human conditioning will fight you – your need to follow rules, your compliance with the system, your pride on knowing how to read the days of the week.

You may even start panicking: what if the pills are different for different days? You know nothing about pharmaceuticals, you’ve never compounded medicine. Maybe the Wednesday pill has a special ingredient that’s vital for maintaining mid-week organ function. If you drop dead, nobody will feel sorry for you. People at your funeral will say, “Well, if you’re going to take a non-Wednesday pill on a Wednesday, what do you expect?”

I say, just take the right pill on the right day. It probably won’t make any difference, but you’ll feel better physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and educationally. Because if we all start breaking the pill rules, what’s left of civilisation? We might as well eat breakfast for dinner and walk around backwards. What’s the point of anything any more, huh?

[e-mail]

To read more from Good Weekend magazine, visit our page at The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age and Brisbane Times.