‘I was successful, rich and terribly unhappy’: Natalie Imbruglia on life after Torn

If you don’t follow Natalie Imbruglia on Instagram, you probably haven’t seen her in a while. You might have read that she had a baby in 2019. But the singer and former Neighbours star, who became a ’90s icon after her debut single, Torn, sold over four million copies worldwide, seemed to have disappeared from public eye.

But all that’s about to change with the release of Firebird, her first album of new material in 12 years. She describes one song on it, Nothing Missing, co-written with KT Tunstall, as “a celebration of female independence”.

“In my early days, being a woman, it was hard,” she says. “It sounds like a little thing, but people taking the time to listen to what I’m trying to achieve is actually massive.”

Back in 2011, a crisis of confidence caused by writer’s block forced her to take a break from music. “I went to LA and studied acting for two years,” she explains, pushing back her long brown hair. She’s calling over Zoom from the barn of her Oxfordshire home (she has dual Australian/British citizenship), which became a makeshift studio during last year’s UK lockdown. “But I wanted to come back to singing, if I could just find a way to overcome this fear.”

After dipping a toe back into music with 2015’s Male, an album of covers of songs by male artists, she realised that writing her own material was going to involve breaking out of her comfort zone. In 2018, she went to Nashville for 10 days of intense writing sessions.

“I went from writing terrible songs, crying and thinking, ‘I can’t do this any more,’ to realising that I actually know what I’m doing,” she says, grinning. “Then it snowballed and I had all this confidence.”

Wearing a black and white animal-print dress, and sitting on a plump sofa, she twists her laptop around to show me the barn. There’s recording equipment, a treadmill (“That’s getting a bit dusty, but I do have a Peloton, which is not just an ornament”) and glass doors, flooding the space with light.

Firebird was largely recorded here. The album is packed with summery, car-window-down tunes, including the first single, Build It Better. In the video for the song, a petrol station pit stop turns into a La La Land-style musical number. “I wanted to dance,” she says. “It’s been a while.”

Overall, the album is bursting with joy and very personal. She co-wrote every song and her collaborators include Romeo Stodart of the Magic Numbers and Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond jnr.

There is, of course, another reason for the break. “I became a mother, so that took a bit of time,” she adds with a smile. In July 2019, she announced on Instagram, with characteristic honesty, that she was pregnant “with the help of IVF and a sperm donor”. Her son, Max, was born in October that year.

Holding the hand of her son Max earlier this month.Credit: @natalie_imbruglia/Instagram

Natalie, 46, says that parenthood has brought “a sense of peace” and, although she wanted to have a child earlier, it’s all worked out as it should. “At this time of my life, I have more attention, more patience,” she says. “When I was younger, life was moving so fast. I wanted to be a parent then, but I don’t know that I would have approached it in the same way. I have different priorities now, so it’s been a very grounding experience.”

Is there anything about parenthood that surprised her? “It’s superseded any expectation, it’s just an indescribable feeling of love,” she says. “It’s pretty epic … I’m tearing up!” She is emotional because of the overwhelming sense that something she has wanted for so long has finally become a reality.

“I’m conscious that so many women aren’t in a situation where they’re able to be a mum,” she says. “My heart goes out to those women because I know it’s a difficult … It’s a difficult thing.”

Lockdown was spent in Oxfordshire with Max and her Maltese terrier Mr Wilson, a bonding experience that she describes as “a bliss bubble”. She also bubbled with a couple of local friends and, when restrictions allowed, had “some people helping me out with my son”. So there was a certain amount of adult company, but she did her fair share of Friday night Zoom drinks from the barn, too.

Natalie, like many of us, found that having a daily routine is vital to staying sane in lockdown, which is another reason why Max has been a blessing. “With a baby, you’re up early. I’d do my workout, and cooking became a big structure to the day.”

With her Maltese terrier, Mr Wilson, in 2014.Credit:  @natalie_imbruglia/Instagram

She has fully embraced country life, having moved to Oxfordshire four years ago after a decade in Notting Hill. The space and fresh air makes up for the lack of convenience. “Obviously it’s not like London, there’s no Uber Eats!” she laughs. “You’ve got to be organised with food.”

Natalie had written her album and was ready to go into the studio when lockdown hit in March 2020. But the upside of working from home meant she could kit out the barn with equipment to record her album remotely. “The best part of it was that if I wanted to hug my son, I could just run next door,” she says.

She co-produced the new album, so it’s very much her own voice. “To have them [her co-producers, UK duo MyRiot] help me express myself in the way I wanted was brilliant,” she says, of a world that has traditionally preferred to sexualise women rather than listen to their opinions. “The music industry has come a long way.”

At the Billboard awards in Las Vegas, 1998.Credit: Getty Images

It’s not only the music industry that’s come a long way. Since the Framing Britney Spears documentary aired a few months ago, the disturbing and sexist way in which the media often treats young women has been highlighted.

“I spent years after my divorce trying to fix myself, or fill a void with the thing that society expects: meet the guy and have the family. Obviously my path was a different one but, even before Max was born, I realised there was nothing missing. It was a massive epiphany, and very empowering.”

Compared to some, Natalie got off lightly, but she was relentlessly asked when she was going to have a baby, and romantically linked with every famous man she ever had a passing conversation with, from Harry Styles and Robbie Williams to Prince Harry.

That said, she did date Lenny Kravitz and Friends star David Schwimmer in the late 1990s. She was also married to Silverchair frontman Daniel Johns for five years in the 2000s. After years of estrangement, the former couple are now firm friends.

With Silverchair frontman Daniel Johns in 2003, shortly before they married.Credit: Getty Images

“I spent years after my divorce trying to fix myself, or fill a void with the thing that society expects: meet the guy and have the family. Obviously my path was a different one but, even before Max was born, I realised there was nothing missing. It was a massive epiphany, and very empowering.”

Natalie’s been on a journey of self-acceptance since her early 20s, when part of her career was already behind her. It’s easy to forget that she was just 16 when she played Beth in Neighbours. “When my niece got to that age, I was like, ‘How was I living in Melbourne, without my parents, and loving it?’ ” She looks incredulous. “Sometimes I wish I had that confidence now. It’s easier when you’re a kid. The world’s your oyster and you haven’t had the school of hard knocks yet.”

Natalie circa 1995, shortly after moving to the UK.Credit: Getty Images

Natalie grew up in Berkeley Vale, on the NSW Central Coast, with her teacher mother, businessman-turned-musician father and three sisters. Determined to be an actor from a young age, she appeared in commercials, before leaving school after being cast in Neighbours.

But her wake-up call came in 1994, after she left the soap and, against her parents’ wishes, moved to London. But after three years, her longed-for music career hadn’t happened and her visa was close to expiring.

Then, a chance meeting with Anne Barrett, who went on to become her manager, led to her recording a demo of Torn, which landed her a record deal when she was just 22. It’s something she’s always asked about – not that she minds.

“I feel privileged to have been part of something that connected with so many people,” she says. “If you can have that experience once in your life, how is that not something to be grateful for?”

Although she went on to have more hits in the 1990s and 2000s, including Big Mistake, Smoke, Shiver and Counting Down the Days (all of which she co-wrote), she also experienced critical and commercial flops.

On stage at the Party in the Park in London’s Hyde Park in 2002.Credit: Getty Images

Natalie talks about the importance of having a positive mindset and living in the moment – two factors that, along with practising meditation, have helped her handle the bumps in her career.

“Failure can be a phenomenal life lesson in how to take a situation and turn it around,” she shrugs. “Every failure has led up to this moment. Learning meditation when I was younger taught me to enjoy the process rather than attaching to outcomes. It’s about simple joys.”

She has always been honest when talking about her own anxiety, and the agoraphobia she experienced in the crazy period following Torn. “I went very strange,” she has said. “I needed to hide myself away. Everyone was asking me how the album was going and I just didn’t want to know. I was successful, rich and terribly unhappy.”

Natalie sitting next to Prince Charles at Party in the Park in 2002.Credit: Getty Images

It also made her something of a trailblazer, years before everyone was talking openly about mental health. “That was an accident though,” she laughs. “I’m just an Aussie. I’d be honest in interviews and say that sometimes I felt a bit down. Then it became this whole thing.

“I remember thinking, ‘Calm down everybody, don’t you talk about your feelings?’ In Australia, that was something we were more open about. But it’s wonderful that we can talk about these things now, that before, would have been a little bit … weird.”

Does she do therapy? “There have been periods of my life where I have done, but I’m not at the moment,” she says. “I certainly am not against it. But my therapy at the moment is songwriting, exercising and being in nature. Those are my main tools. And friendship – that’s so important.”

“Age is great for getting comfortable with yourself, and there is nothing like highs and lows in your career to help shape you.”

This is particularly true living so far from her family (her parents are in Queensland), though she goes home every Christmas. “I had to quarantine last time, so that was interesting; two weeks in a hotel room with a little one. It was important because my dad was poorly, so I was willing to do whatever I had to do to make sure that we could all be together.”

With her parents getting older, and on the other side of the world to their grandson, would she ever move home? “It’s always in the back of my mind,” she admits, “but it feels like a massive step and I don’t feel quite ready. I love being there. But I love being here!”

Natalie on moving back to Australia: “It’s always in the back of my mind,” she admits, “but it feels like a massive step and I don’t feel quite ready. I love being there. But I love being here!”Credit: Christopher Fenner/Telegraph

I wonder, at this point, how much Natalie actually cares if her album does well. Presumably, she doesn’t need it financially – reports estimate her wealth at $14 million. “Who told you that?” she shrieks. “You’re not looking on Wikipedia again, are you?”

But, seriously, is there any pressure? “You know, I’m a mum now,” she begins. “Age is great for getting comfortable with yourself, and there is nothing like highs and lows in your career to help shape you.

“The first song I ever released went massive around the world, so that was a lot of expectation to deal with. I don’t think I could ever go through anything as difficult as writing a second album after that song, so this is a doddle. I feel blessed to still have a career. If the album does well, it’s the icing on the cake.”

Firebird will be released on September 24.

This article appears in Sunday Life magazine within the Sun-Herald and the Sunday Age on sale July 25. To read more from Sunday Life, visit The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age.

Stella Magazine, The Sunday Telegraph (UK)

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