This was published 2 years ago
I look back and I’m like, ‘What an idiot’: How fatherhood changed Matty J
It was a reality TV show that made Matthew Johnson a star, but it’s his real-life role as a father which has garnered him a new audience. He talks with Genevieve Quigley.
Matty wears Sir x Jordan Barrett “Divico” tee. Mr P sweatpants from Mr Porter. ToniMay jewellery. Marlie-Mae wears Sportscraft “Flora” dress. Lola wears Sportscraft “Flora” blouse and “Ruby” leggings. Cushions from Bed Threads. Credit: Tāne Coffin
As someone who rose to fame on a reality dating television show, you’d think Matthew “Matty J” Johnson would be a master of asking out a stranger. But since meeting his now fiancée, Laura Byrne, on the fifth season of The Bachelor, and the couple welcoming two daughters, Marlie-Mae, 3, and Lola, 18 months, there’s a new challenge on the pairing-up front that makes him nervous.
“I recently met another dad at the park and we did the pleasantries – ‘How old is your child?’ and all that,” he recalls. “Then the next weekend, we saw each other again. And then the following weekend, we saw each other at the beach. I’m thinking ‘We really get along,’ so I was like, ‘What’s your Instagram?’ and we swapped details.
I remember saying to Laura, ‘Let’s invite them over for dinner’. And
she was like, ‘Can we do that?’”
He laughs when remembering how apprehensive he felt asking his potential dad date over to their home, but his face beams as he continues the story. “So we invited them over, and things are going well. I’ve made a new dad friend!”
Laura wears Anna Quan top and skirt. ToniMay jewellery. Credit: Tāne Coffin
Listening to the lightness in Matty’s voice as he speaks about fatherhood, it’s clear he relishes being a dad. In a quiet cafe in North Bondi (a location he chose for this interview with Sunday Life in order to be close to his daughters’ daycare, so he can pick them up afterwards), Matty is as affable and charming in real life as he appears in the funny and relatable Instagram videos he regularly shares with his 340,000 fans. His bio on the social media platform states he’s “a middle-aged dad doing his best to be funny …” which sums up his persona both on and off screen, though with his boyish good looks and the fact he’s only 35, “middle-aged” feels like a stretch.
Both Matty and Laura, 36, juggle busy careers, so the couple divide their time caring for their children depending on whose workload is most demanding. Matty recalls Laura being fully supportive when he commenced his season of Dancing with the Stars in 2021 – even though Lola was just a couple of weeks old at the time.
These days it’s Laura who’s leading the charge on the work front. “Her schedule is absolutely bonkers,” Matty says with pride. “She has her jewellery label, ToniMay. She’s working on radio on weekends now, and organising live shows [for her popular podcast, Life Uncut, which she hosts with fellow Bachelor alum Brittany Hockley]. I can take my foot off the gas knowing that she’s got so much going on.”
Matty acknowledges that he wasn’t always such a hands-on dad: “In the first few months it was easy to take a back seat.”Credit: Tāne Coffin
For the time being, the family routine involves Matty doing the daycare runs from Monday to Thursday, and cooking dinner during the week. On Fridays, he takes care of Marlie-Mae and Lola on his own, adding that he endeavours to devote that time solely to his girls. “If there is a work phone call, I’m so tempted to take it. But I’m pretty strict. I say, I can’t even do emails on a Friday. Fridays are for the kids.”
Matty acknowledges it hasn’t always been easy to take a step back career-wise, and while gendered parenting roles are fading, it’s still less common for fathers to take on the greater share of the kid wrangling.
“But I love that Laura has a really amazing career and she’s passionate about it,” he says. “It makes total sense for me to dial back the amount of work I’m doing to look after the kids, to be able to support Laura more and allow her to keep doing what she does. There will come a time when the pendulum is going to swing.”
While the couple have seemingly mastered the delicate art of balancing parenting duties, Matty is quick to admit he wasn’t always so hands-on.
“I’ll put my hand up. I look back at the early years when Marlie-Mae was born, and in the first few months it was easy to take a back seat,” he confesses. “The baby is so dependent on mum for breastfeeding.
“It makes total sense for me to dial back the amount of work I’m doing to look after the kids, to be able to support Laura more and allow her to keep doing what she does.”
“I remember around the three-month mark going out the door with my backpack to go to the gym, and I was like, ‘Bye Laura.’ And she was like, ‘What are you doing?’ I was leaving her with a dirty kitchen and washing to be done. We had to have a pretty honest conversation about it. I had to step up as a parent.”
Matty wears SIR x Jordan Barrett T-shirt and pants, SIR shirt. Marlie-Mae and Lola wear Sportscraft. Credit: Tāne Coffin
In retrospect, he can see he wasn’t really prepared for the realities of fatherhood. “I look back and I’m like, ‘What an idiot,’ ” he says, shaking his head. His ideas around parenthood had been shaped by his role as an uncle, which he has since discovered is a vastly different experience.
“My sister’s got three young kids, and being an uncle is just the best part: in the middle of the day when the kids are in a good mood and they’re fed and happy down at the beach or in the park. You kind of miss all the really crap parts, like the sleepless nights.”
Yet Matty and Laura were also spared some of the harsher realities of new parenthood with their firstborn. “Marlie was a really amazing child as a baby; she’d sleep anywhere,” he says. This blessing left them less prepared for their second baby. “Then Lola came out. She was a really challenging baby. She didn’t like to sleep at all. And it’s amazing, as we parented in the exact same way. Marlie was the dream; Lola couldn’t have been more challenging!”
Matty pre-empts the next question. “Now that we’ve come out of the trenches and we’ve gone through that newborn phase, do we want to go again?” he asks himself. “It depends when you ask us. On a good day, I’m like, ‘Yeah, yeah.’ I think Laura’s in the same boat. Three is a number that, for some reason, kind of stuck in our heads. And if we just stayed at two, we would think we’re missing a little piece of the puzzle. I don’t know why.”
Having survived the new-parent trenches, does Matty have any words of advice for fathers-to-be? “I remember a dad saying to me before Marlie was born, ‘Just enjoy every last second of your life right now.’ But you don’t, because you don’t understand what you’re going to lose.
“I remember seeing parents at a cafe or a restaurant and their child would have an iPad and I’d think to myself, ‘I will never do that.’ Now I couldn’t survive without one!” Credit: Tāne Coffin
Obviously, there’s a lot to gain. But I’d still say to any dads out there about to have their very first child, ‘Enjoy life right now, just you and your partner.’ You definitely miss those moments and the freedom to just do whatever you want. There is nothing that’s going to test a relationship like a baby.”
The wisdom of hindsight has also led Matty to not judge other parents. He has learnt first-hand the meaning of the expression that everyone is a
perfect parent until they become one. “I remember seeing parents at a cafe
or a restaurant and their child would have an iPad and I’d think to myself,
‘I will never do that.’ Now I couldn’t survive without one!”
By sharing these honest takes on parenting via his social media, Matty has gathered a new legion of fans beyond those who know him from his Bachelor days. His videos vary from Marlie-Mae raiding her mother’s make-up bag and giving herself Frida Kahlo-worthy eyebrows to him chasing Lola around the kitchen to feed snacks into her mouth because she refuses to sit in her high chair.
“I posted that one and it was weird how many other parents out there
were like, ‘Oh my god, that’s so good. Tonight I was so frustrated thinking
I must be doing something wrong.’
So it’s really nice to post that content, and for it to be a little community
with other parents, and to know that their struggles are the exact same struggles we all have.”
Matty has clearly earned a Father’s Day sleep-in this year, but is there anything else he’s hoping for on this first Sunday in September? “We’ve actually made something together,” he says, holding out his wrist and showing off a bracelet. Being in a relationship with a jewellery designer, unsurprisingly it’s no macaroni-on-string creation, but rather a limited-edition ToniMay men’s silver bracelet inscribed with the words, “Forever
and always.”
Through his honest takes on parenting that he shares on social media, Matty loves the community that’s formed, and “knowing that their struggles are the exact same struggles we all have.” Credit: Tāne Coffin
Which leads to the next question: has a wedding date been set? The couple had originally hoped to tie the knot in early 2020, but like so many plans that year, a certain global pandemic got in the way. They are now planning to say “I do” before the end of this year. With Laura’s packed schedule, it’s another job Matty has happily taken on.
“I used to work in events, so I was like, ‘Laura, don’t worry, I’ve got this covered.’ But then one of Laura’s friends asked about the wedding cake, and I’d totally forgotten about it. So I’m not doing the best job as a wedding organiser, but the invitations have been sent out,” he says assuringly, before adding with a smile. “Very, very late, but they have been sent out.”
Styling by Penny McCarthy. Hair by Brad Mullins using O&M. Make-up by Aimie Fiebig for Sisley Paris. Styling assistant Emmerson Conrad.
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