Are you an empath? The upsides to being highly sensitive

Carlie says she has “always felt the emotions of others really deeply”. The 35-year-old is not only sensitive to how others feel, she then takes on their emotions herself.

Most empaths don’t need to take a test to know they’re one; they just know. Credit: Stocksy

“So if I hang out with someone who’s positive and bubbly and inspiring, I’ll get home and literally have so much energy,” she says. But when people around her are miserable, Carlie feels depleted.

People who have a strong ability to feel the emotions of others are known as empaths, says self-confessed empath Eugenie Pepper, a counsellor and psychotherapist at Key Mindfulness.

While she says research suggests only about 1 to 2 per cent of the population are empaths, she believes the true prevalence is likely higher.

In The Empath’s Survival Guide, psychiatrist and empath Dr Judith Orloff says there are a few scientific explanations behind being an empath. One may relate to mirror neurons, the brain cells responsible for compassion that allow people to mirror the emotions of others. The mirror neurons of empaths are thought to be hyper-responsive, which is why these people resonate so deeply with how others feel.

There are plenty of online quizzes you can take to see if you’re an empath, says Pepper. But she says most empaths don’t need to take a test to know they’re one; they just know.

“They’re the person who everybody wants to ring up and offload their problems to, because they naturally know how to respond with kindness.”

There are some beautiful upsides to being highly sensitive to the emotions of others. First, Pepper says, empaths make wonderful friends. “They’re the person who everybody wants to ring up and offload their problems to, because they naturally know how to respond with kindness.”

Empaths are likely to want to skirt superficial chit-chat and dive into more meaningful topics, too, says Carlie, because they’re at ease in emotional territory. They’re likely to also have a knack for making new friends.

They also harbour an innate desire to help others. Carlie knows this first-hand. Having suffered from mental illness as a teenager, she wanted her work to have a positive impact on the lives of others.

So when she founded her activewear business, Real Active, she decided from the get-go to donate 10 per cent of all profits to mental health charities. This desire to help others is why empaths are more likely to go into caring professions such as healthcare, Pepper says.

Unfortunately, it’s not all good news. Pepper says empaths may particularly struggle to watch the news or may become very distressed when reading about or watching traumatic world events.

Feeling other people’s pain can also be incredibly draining and empaths are prone to exhaustion and burnout.

But, she assures, there are ways to stop yourself from feeling sapped. Setting clear boundaries within relationships is pivotal. Spending time in nature also can be restorative and help negate the impact of taking on other people’s pain. Carlie finds bushwalking and strolling on the beach particularly therapeutic. Focusing on joyful, solo pursuits such as cooking, exercising and meditating also helps recharge Carlie’s batteries.

Making an active effort not to take on other people’s emotions can also be beneficial. As a counsellor, Pepper visualises a “protective shield” around her when seeing clients, so the emotions of others “bounce off” her, rather than sink in. “Over the years I’ve got better at not crying when my clients cry,” she says. “But my eyes still water.”

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