Chicken parmigiana pies, two-foot dagwood dogs, Flamin’ Hot Cheeto-flavoured sausages, and chocolate brownie-filled crepes. If you want to consume your daily recommended intake of kilojoules in one sitting, the 2024 Sydney Royal Easter Show is a fine place to do it.

Then there’s all the turkey legs, doughnuts, fairy floss, nachos, hot dogs, schnitzels, dole whip, pretzels, cookies, churros, bubble tea and chips on sticks. So many sticks. Denying yourself any of this would be like visiting the US and not eating, well, nachos, hot dogs and doughnuts. It’s the Show! Have a waffle pop. Have two.

Easter Show eating needs a plan of attack, however. Too many loaded fries ruin the Rotor Room. Here’s the Good Food guide to the best food and drink at this year’s Easter Show, across a broad range of price points and carbohydrate levels to help you draft your day.

Cheese on a stick from Cheese on a Stick, various locations

First up, don’t fight it. You know you want it. Cheese on a Stick has been an Easter Show fixture for more than half a century because its $7 signature item is aggressively tasty. The cheese of unspecified origin isn’t winning any medals, but it’s appropriately gooey, and the golden-brown cornmeal batter is as good as anything you’ll find at an American county fair. Teaming it with fresh lemonade ($7) from the same stall is essential for peak salty-sweet enjoyment.

Devonshire tea (and tarts) from the Country Women’s Association, Home & Lifestyle Pavilion

The best times to visit the CWA Tearoom is first thing in the morning or after 2pm, otherwise expect to fight for a table like a seagull to chips. Because the volunteer staff sell more than 40,000 scones every year, they’re always oven-fresh and steaming hot, and in 2024 you can expect to pay $15 for two scones, jam and cream, plus a pot of tea. Don’t sleep on the CWA’s other baked goods though, including gold-standard Anzac biscuits, lamingtons, apple pie and date loaf. For $6.50, there’s also a neenish and nutmeg-dusted mushroom tart two-pack for sharing.

“OG” skewers from Firepop, Riverina Avenue

Call me old-fashioned, but the show, first and foremost, should be a celebration of the state’s produce. It’s run by the Royal Agricultural Society of NSW after all. With so many deep-fried mystery snags and fat-dripping burgers, however, NSW-farmed meat can be hard to find. Thank goodness, then, for Firepop. It’s the husband-and-wife team’s fourth year grilling skewers over charcoal at the event, and $17 will get you two sticks of pasture-fed Port Macquarie lamb spangled with sesame and cumin dukkah.

Mi Goreng fries from May’s Malaysian Hawker, Mr Alloo’s Noodle Market

Yes, these are fries flavoured with Indomie Mi Goreng instant noodle seasoning. Simple. Effective. $8 a box.

Miso soup from Rice Culture, Woolworths Fresh Food Dome

Rice Culture is run by a group of Japanese mothers dedicated to producing miso and koji (fermented rice). Last year, the Gold Coast-based business received the Royal Agricultural Society’s President’s Medal, honouring a producer that prioritises sustainable environmental, economic and social practices. Also, the miso is bloody delicious, available in take-home jars or hot $5 cups of nourishing, umami-heavy soup. I’m all about the “vintage” miso, aged for five years so it tastes like Bonox with a doctorate, but there’s a lot to love about the lighter, sweeter shiro (white) version too.

Hot cross bun gelato from Gelato Messina, The Stables

If you only order one ice-cream or gelato, you might as well order the one made with Jersey milk from happy cows, and tasting spookily like a hot cross bun. Messina’s pistachio praline number is also worth a dig. $6.60 a scoop, or two scoops for $8.40.

Tropical Fields slushie from Archie Rose Bar, The Stables

For an event run by the NSW Agricultural Society, it sure would be nice if there was some NSW beer on the pour. (The Show is very much an overseas-owned Great Northern lager zone.) At least there are cocktails from Sydney distillery Archie Rose. I should provide a full disclaimer that my wife works for the company, but I should also tell you that Archie Rose is mixing Show-exclusive drinks such as the “Tropical Fields” slushie ($20) with gin, dark rum, pineapple, coconut and lime.

Tyrrell’s shiraz and chardonnay are available from the same bar, which is also the only place serving wine and cocktails from actual glassware besides the members’ lounges. Tyrrell’s full bar in the Dome has a larger section of the Hunter Valley wine (including the iconic Vat 1 Semillon) but you’ll be drinking it from a plastic cup.

Cheddar from Hunter Belle Dairy Co, Woolworths Fresh Food Dome

There’s a $46 Sydney Royal Easter Show medal-winning cheese and charcuterie board available from the Archie Rose Bar too, but it’s better to buy direct from exhibiting producers. Scone’s Hunter Belle Dairy Co, for instance, has a special of five cheddars for $35. Track down a disposable knife and some crackers, and you can create a little picnic in the woodchop stand. Victoria’s Tarago River Cheese has a stall too, with a cheese platter for the low, low price of $15. Use any money saved on locally made hot sauce from The Fermentalists, one aisle over.

Sausage sizzle from Big Bush BBQ, New England Avenue

This might be the most under-the-radar bargain onsite, semi-hidden at the back of the show, near the horse pavilion. At the Big Bush BBQ, $5 buys you a Bunnings-style sausage sizzle plus a bottle of water. Considering most Show vendors charge $5 for a Mount Franklin, you might also think of the deal as one cold water with a free sanger. The stall is staffed by volunteers, and all profit goes back into rural NSW communities from Bombala to Broken Hill to Brewarrina.

How to eat at the Easter Show on a $50 budget

The Show has never been a cheap day out, but this year seems particularly expensive. Burgers are upwards of $18; a dagwood dog can set you back $12; bratwurst in a roll is $15, and then there’s that cheese and charcuterie board for $46.

With a bit of smart shopping, however, you have as much fun eating as I do watching blokes competitively chop wood. Here’s how my day would look with a food budget of $50.

10am – one CWA scone with jam and cream, $5. One scone should be enough for morning tea, rather than committing to the full $15 Devonshire set.

10:30am – regular coffee from the Riverina Fresh Milk Bar, $5*. This is one of the cheaper and better coffee options, located in the Home & Lifestyle Pavilion and using Seven Miles beans.

Noon – cheese on stick, $7. Resistance is futile. But instead of the lemonade, I’m going to balance the fat and salt with a $5 tub of fresh watermelon from the farmers representing NSW’s Western District inside the Woolworths dome.

2pm – sausage sizzle, $5. The Big Bush BBQ snag isn’t the highest quality meat, but you can make up for it with a side of that deeply flavoured (and surprisingly filling) Rice Culture miso, also $5. Nothing wrong with dipping a sandwich in soup.

5pm – hot cross bun gelato, $6.60. Even one scoop of Messina is a bit splurge, but it’s Easter themed, and it’s delicious, so to heck with it.

6:30pm – pan-fried dumplings, $15. You can find Mrs Wang’s Dumplings just outside the main arena. There are few better ways to spend an evening at the show than watching a rodeo challenge with 10 pork and chive potstickers on your lap.

That actually takes me to a total of $53.60 for the day, so I probably should have loaded up on coffee at home. *Take that flat white off the list, and not too long ago you would have almost had enough money left over for a $2 Bertie Beetle showbag. (These days a Bertie bag is $5.)

The Sydney Royal Easter Show runs until Tuesday, April 2, 1 Showground Road, Sydney Olympic Park, eastershow.com.au