Children learning instruments should be fun, not torture

Teachers have been sending children home with recorders for decades in the hope that it will get them interested in music. But for parents, it can feel like more pain than it’s worth.

Tired of harping on about practising their musical instrument? Let’s discuss how to conduct it all in a more satisfactory manner.

Playing music is hugely beneficial for a child and research shows music students have better working memory, improved processing speed, better ability to solve novel problems, and are more capable of dividing their attention between a few competing tasks.

It is not only intellectual skills students gain by music experience. Playing an instrument also develops children’s social and emotional skills, as well as their physical development.

So, if it is so beneficial, then why is it so hard for so many parents to get their child to practice their instrument? Why is it a daily struggle to get them doing their scales and being ready for their next music lesson? And why so much parent work just to hear the tortured sounds of your child flailing their way through Frère Jacques on the recorder?

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I want to give you a few strategies to use in your efforts to get your child to practice their music. Key here is the purpose of their music lessons and tapping into their motivation.

Playing music is hugely beneficial for a child. Picture: iStock

If their lessons are compulsory

Your child’s music lessons and their endeavours in learning an instrument may be part of their current curriculum. This will make their practice part of their homework and, therefore, a compulsory part of their afternoon’s work. Set up the situation that your primary child has to do their homework to get their daily pleasures (i.e. their leisure activities) and consider their music practice to be a part of that. Ideally, you will be able to hear them practising and know they have done what they need to do.

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If your child is in high school and doing a music subject then it is still part of their homework, but technically you should not be monitoring as much, if at all. Ideally, they are either internally motivated to do well or externally motivated not to receive the consequence for not practising, such as receiving poor marks or a detention.

If music lessons are additional

Usually this happens because you have insisted that they learn an instrument for a certain number of years at school, or your child has expressed an interest in it.

Recorders cause parents much pain. Picture: iStock

If music is something you have insisted on, then you need to ensure that they are a little motivated — for example, try to get them to choose an instrument they are interested in. Their practice should also be considered part of their homework every day to be able to then get to do other pleasant activities. Be matter of fact about this and don’t indulge their complaining too much. Your house, your rules.

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If your child wants to learn an instrument, then I would suggest you set up a contract with the terms of what they need to do for you to agree to pay for the lessons and purchase or rent their instrument. Things you can include are a minimum amount of time spent practising, when that needs to take place, and what will happen if they don’t practice. You might even like to get them to do some chores to earn part of their lesson or instrument cost — this will ensure you can determine that they are sufficiently motivated before you commit to the cost of a term’s worth of lessons.

Parents should do everything in their power to keep their children playing instruments. Picture: iStock

Make sure they bear the costs of their slackness. For example, if they are continually late for orchestra then allow the conductor to give the consequence as they see fit (possibly missing a performance). If your child refuses to practice, then you will need to consider whether you withdraw their lessons and the opportunity to perform, whether you make them pay (via chores) for the lessons they aren’t sufficiently ready for, or another form of consequence.

Do everything in your power to keep them playing, but when music is causing more discord than harmony, it is probably sounding the alarm to stop.

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Takeaway for parents

Get your child more interested in music.

From a young age get them and the whole family playing music — even old bottles

with sand make a great swooshing sound for the beat. Play a range of recorded music in your house. Make different days different styles of music and talk to them about what they like.

Take them to live performances of music being played as often as you can. There are always some free performances, or you can attend school concerts for them to see their peers play.

Originally published as Children learning instruments should be fun, not torture