Emma Stevens and Gill Klemich speak about the loss of their sons, Charlie Stevens, Jack Klemich, and why SA’s leadership in organ donation should inspire the rest of the country

Both their sons were taken in situations out of their control, yet in their darkest hours, both mothers, with the support of their families, chose to donate their son’s organs so others could live on.

For both Emma Stevens and Gill Klemich, death came when they were least expecting it.

Their beautiful sons Charlie and Jack were gone in the blink of an eye.

Both were 18. Both were healthy, handsome, funny, talented, kind and the life of any party.

Both were part of close-knit families with adoring siblings, grandparents and cousins.

Oren and Gill Klemich and Emma Stevens have both lost teenage sons and want to bring attention to organ donations. Picture Mark Brake

Both were taken in situations out of their control. Neither chose to leave. Charlie was struck by a car at Goolwa. Jack contracted meningococcal disease.

And yet in their darkest hours, both their mothers, with the support of their families, chose to donate their son’s organs so others could live on.

Amid the grief, the disbelief, anger and heartbreak, they said yes because they knew their boys wanted that.

Both young men had stood at the kitchen bench of their homes filling out their driver’s licence forms. Both asked their parents the same question: “What’s organ donation?”

When it was explained, both Charlie and Jack ticked the box without hesitation.

It’s no accident that our state has the highest organ donation registration rate in the nation.

Of eligible South Australians over 16 years of age, 74 per cent have opted in, compared to 49 per cent in Tasmania, 41 per cent in New South Wales, 36 per cent in Western Australia, 31 per cent in Queensland and just 23 per cent in Victoria.

We lead the country because organ donation is brought to the attention of good people like Charlie and Jack when they learn to drive. We’re the only state where people can register to be a donor via their driver’s licence.

There are no borders when it comes to organ donation, so why is it that the generosity of South Australians in signing up isn’t always reciprocated?

The system needs to change, and Emma Stevens and Gill Klemich won’t stop advocating until it does.

Charlie’s organs were gratefully received by seven people, Jack’s by four people. Picture Mark Brake

Charlie’s organs were gratefully received by seven people, Jack’s by four people. In both cases, recipients had just weeks to live when they received the ultimate gift.

“I didn’t want Charlie to be wasted,” Emma says.

“There were too many good things about him still that could help another family.

“Somebody else doesn’t have to go through what we’ve been through by our children donating their organs.”

Three years ago, 13 years after losing Jack, the Klemichs wrote to his organ recipients in a letter that began: “Our dear friend, whoever you may be.”

“Our family hopes you are well and leading a fulfilling and enjoyable life.

“Our son was a registered Organ Donor, so he’d be happy to know as a family, we complied with his wishes, to benefit others in need. It’s lovely for us to think that a part of his gorgeous spirit is still out there, doing something good.”

One recipient, who shared Jack’s love of cricket and football, replied saying: “Your son’s brave decision to donate his organs almost 12 years ago saved my life and others. I had about six weeks to live.

“Your son sounded like he was a wonderful young man and a part of him lives on in me.

“God Bless your son. God Bless your family.”

Gill says: “It meant a huge amount because you think about your own child. If Jack had only four weeks to live, we would have done anything to save him, so for Jack to be able to say that he saved that boy’s life is pretty big.”

We need to talk more about dying, in life. The importance of having the organ donation conversation with family members cannot be over-estimated. Saying yes on your licence isn’t legally binding – your family has the ultimate say – but DonateLife statistics tell us that eight in 10 families agree when their family member is registered.

That drops to four in 10 families when they don’t know what their loved one’s wishes were.

“That’s why the driver's licence makes it easy, because it comes in the post and it just starts that conversation,” Gill says.

“To me that’s the easiest way to do it and it would be lovely it if was national protocol. Why can’t we just do it?”

Charlie Stevens was struck by a car and killed during schoolies celebrations. Picture: Supplied

Jack Klemich who died from Meningococcal B.

Emma strongly believes that to receive, you must be willing to give.

“People that aren’t registered shouldn’t be at the top of the list to receive,” she says.

“If you’re happy to receive an organ, why wouldn’t you be happy to give one?

“I find it bizarre that South Australians, we have the highest registration rate, we’re doing this for other states, why aren’t they doing it?

“If you’re happy to take, you need to give as well.”

Gill’s husband Oren is one of the country’s most prominent organ donation advocates.

He too is working to convince state and federal health and transport ministers to allow young men and women to register as donors when they apply for a driver’s licence.

“I’ve been trying to get this over the line for five years and I’ll continue,” Oren says.

“It made the decision for the Stevens and the Klemichs easier. It’s the right thing to do. What did Charlie and Jack want? It was to donate their organs.

“At the time it didn’t mean a lot, but as time goes on you realise that Jack and Charlie have saved the lives of other people and we could have buried perfectly healthy organs.”

Only around 2 per cent of people who die in Australian hospitals meet the criteria required to be an organ donor. In South Australia that equates to between 45 and 50 people a year.

Oren knows with such a small number of potential donors, increasing consent is critical.

Right now, 1800 Australians are on the waitlist for a transplant with an additional 14,000 on dialysis, many who would benefit from a kidney transplant.

Oren hopes conversations with Federal Health Minister Mark Butler, SA Health Minister Chris Picton and Transport Minister Tom Koutsantonis will soon see results.

“We’re so fortunate to have a South Australian federal health minister that understands a system that works very well in a state that he lives,” he says.

“If Mark Butler could encourage the states and fund the expenses of a national driver’s licence registration around Australia, the consent rates will increase.

Both mother’s share the same pain and they carry it every day. Picture Mark Brake

“And more people say yes, fewer people will die on waiting lists – it’s so simple.

“It’s an ideal opportunity for him to do the right thing and re-establish a national registration program.”

Gill and Emma have only met a couple of times, but they’re united in this mission to save lives.

They’re at different stages of their loss. Jack passed away 16 years ago, Charlie just 18 months ago.

When we met last week, both shared the pain they carry with them every day.

“I’m good… but it’s been 18 months. I just cry more now – I didn’t before – just when we talk about Charlie,” Emma says.

“The first 12 months probably... I think you still live in this bubble that it didn’t happen and he’s going to walk through the back door.”

Gill says: “You actually can’t get your head around it. You try, but it’s such a horrible, foreign thing that your brain actually doesn’t know how to get the truth in there.

“And then there’s a real let-down later when you realise actually this is right, and you think ‘wow this is how I’m going to feel for the rest of my life’, and you can hide it quite well, but it’s always there.”

Neither would trade the happiness their boys brought them to escape the pain. Neither would trade the love for the grief they feel.

They think of their boys every hour of every day and take some comfort in knowing they live on through the gift of life.

To register go to donatelife.com.au

Originally published as Emma Stevens and Gill Klemich speak about the loss of their sons, Charlie Stevens, Jack Klemich, and why SA’s leadership in organ donation should inspire the rest of the country