‘They assume we’re living off Centrelink - we’re sick of the judgement’

A full-time travelling Hunter Valley mum-of-two and her husband have been left shocked by just how judgy their caravan park neighbours can be.

“I’ve had mental health struggles and the kids have extra needs,” the Hunter Valley mum reveals.

“People assume this is one big holiday and it’s definitely not that at all.”

When Alissa and her husband, Tyler, made the decision to travel around Australia full time with their children, Logan, 9 and Indie, 7, it wasn’t because they wanted “one long holiday”.

“I’ve had my struggles with mental health, and I hit a low point,” the 31-year-old mum from the Hunter Valley tells Kidspot.

“Tyler lost his mum at a young age, so after we came back from a weekend away camping, he asked me what made me happy, and I said, ‘Travelling and being together all the time’. So he said, ‘Let’s make it happen and do it full time then’.”

It was a dream the couple had been working towards for several years, but only made happen when life as working parents with children in daycare was pushing them to their absolute limit.

The couple sold their home - which they had renovated - for a tidy profit, leaving them completely debt-free and with enough funds to cover 18 months of overland travel. With a 4WD and caravan they already owned outright, they set off in November, 2021, and are still on the road three years later with no plans to stop.

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Image: Supplied.

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"People make assumptions right to our faces"

Along the way, Alissa says most people she has met have been kind, but having a never-ending roundabout of new neighbours has left her shocked at just how judgemental and offensive strangers can be.

“People see us rock up in the 4WD truck (that they upgraded to while on the road) and the caravan and make assumptions right to our faces,” the mum-of-two and former early childhood educator says from her campsite along the Western Australia coast.

“A lot of those are that you’ve either inherited money or are on Centrelink.”

That couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Tyler used to work very long hours as a transport manager and I worked as well,” she says.

“We bought, did up and sold two houses before we were 30, and we were fortunate to make money from those. We’ve never had credit cards, so our motto is that if we can’t afford it, we don’t buy it. We’ve always been money-conscious that way. One of our biggest expenses is the kids’ paediatrician appointments every six months.”

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"We just laugh it off"

When those completely off-the-mark assumptions are thrown their way, Alissa says she and Tyler resist the urge to set people straight.

“We just laugh it off,” she says.

“People can think what they want to think and we’ll just live our lives. Those types of people who say that aren’t the kind we want to associate with, so we just be with those who are kind to us.”

Alissa says it’s predominantly holidaymakers rather than other full time travellers who make such disparaging remarks.

“Most of the travel community are beautiful and encouraging, but it’s just the minority,” she explains.

“It’s mainly people on holiday because full time travellers know what it’s like. People don’t realise that most long term campers travel very slowly, have to manage their money well and have stints of working really hard to keep their journey going. We are careful with how we spend money, too. We won’t pay more than $50 or $60 a night for a caravan park. If it’s more than that, we will go elsewhere. We just think some places are getting ridiculous with their prices, and they’ve gone up a lot since we started travelling.”

Completely self-funding their travels, they do stop now and then for Tyler to work for a few weeks at a time. They also do not do high-affiliate ticket marketing - not that there’s anything wrong with that.

“He’s worked on farming harvests and he’s currently driving a road train and is away,” Alissa says.

Image: Supplied.

It has its challenges

Another judgement that Alissa receives is that her family is on “one big holiday” and that they “couldn’t possibly ever be unhappy”.

“The experiences we get to have are amazing, but that’s not to say we don’t have bad days - everyone has those,” she says.

The challenges Alissa faces with her children are still ever-present on the road. Logan is diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, and has various learning disorders, while Indie is diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, ODD, has learning disorders and a hearing impairment.

“The expectation is that we’re on an extended holiday and out exploring all the time, which isn’t true with the routine we have that the kids thrive on,” she says.

“We have breakfast, then I homeschool the kids until about 11am, then the ‘holiday’ or ‘exploring’ period doesn’t happen until after lunch. We also need to fit in all the kids’ online therapy appointments. At night time, we have a normal dinner back at camp and try to relax after that. It’s definitely not all fun and games.”

Alissa has also had her fair share of judgement at caravan park playgrounds.

“With Logan’s neurodiversity, he was non verbal when he was young, and very strong but also very affectionate, so he would go in for a cuddle with another child and would bowl them over, and that resulted in me getting abused by a few parents at the time,” Alissa recalls.

“It was a lot for me, especially with a newborn in my arms, so we stopped going to playgrounds for a while. But I realised it was wrong to exclude the kids from experiences because I felt uncomfortable a few times. Now we go everywhere and we know who our kids are and we are proud of that.”

Then of course, Alissa also has to deal with keyboard warriors criticising her way of life when she posts about the family’s adventures in warts-and-all style via her Facebook page, Tildesley’s Travel Aus.

“At the start of our travels when I would post something, I would take the post down if I got one negative comment as it was hard to deal with, but I learnt to let people think what they want to,” she says.

“Everyone has a story and a background to why they are on the road, so my attitude is be kind to whoever it is, because you don’t know what that person has been through.”

Originally published as ‘They assume we’re living off Centrelink - we’re sick of the judgement’