After years of IVF, we knew we had to try something else. Now we have two kids

“It really did allow us to complete our family without having to close that chapter like I first thought." 

Becoming a mother isn’t always simple. 

For one Melbourne mum,  all she really wanted was to complete her family, but life dealt her a difficult hand when it came to fulfilling that dream.

“My journey into motherhood was not straightforward at all,” Jess* told Kidspot.

“We’d done four years of IVF and we just got into that painful stage where you know I'd said to my husband ‘am I gonna be enough, because I just don't think that we're gonna be able to have a baby’. Every time I would be pregnant, I just couldn't sustain a pregnancy the whole way through.” 

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"There was a lot of late night Googling"

Eventually, they decided to broaden their search for a way forward.

A friend suggested something Jess hadn’t considered before: international surrogacy. 

“It was one of those things that just sort of crept up, and we thought, maybe this is something that we could try,” she said.

So they began researching. 

“It was very confusing. There was a lot of late night Googling,” she shared. 

But out of the uncertainty came a “life-changing” experience. One that would ultimately lead them to parenthood.

They explored different agencies, conducted interviews with coordinators, and eventually found one they could trust. After passing extensive mental health and medical screenings, a surrogate was selected for the couple.

Jess and her husband were able to interview her, with the help of a translator, to ensure it was the right fit. It couldn’t have gone more perfectly.

“We had a translator and we were talking to her and giggling and getting along really well. It just felt right and still to this day, three and half years later, we’re still in contact,” she said. 

The family welcomed both a son and daughter through international surrogacy. Image: Supplied

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"Are we just using and abusing these people? But no, it goes both ways"

In 2021, their journey took them to Kyiv, Ukraine, where they finally welcomed their baby boy.

They repeated the process with their one-year-old baby girl, who was born in Tbilisi, Georgia. They still keep in contact with her surrogate, too.

For the couple, the bond with their surrogates was incredibly important, along with knowing their financial contribution would help improve their surrogates’ lives.

“I know that a lot of people are sceptical about surrogacy and a little bit apprehensive. Are we just using and abusing these people? But no, it goes both ways," Jess explains. 

"We got something really special out of it which was our children. We got lifelong friendships with them (the surrogates). They also got that in return, plus money that they wouldn't have otherwise been able to get.”

Jess says the money helped her surrogates pay for their children’s education and clothing, and her second surrogate was recently able to afford a new apartment.

She believes it’s just one of many reasons more people are turning to international surrogacy as a way to fulfil their parenting dreams. 

The parents travelled to Kyiv, Ukraine and Tbilisi, Georgia to welcome their babies. Image: Supplied

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Helping others navigate their surrogacy path

Jess says there are still many challenges—and plenty of people are getting caught out. That’s why she created a business to support parents through the process and help them navigate the legalities of bringing surrogate-born babies back to Australian soil.

“You have to go through these governing bodies to get the babies citizenship by descent. There's a lot of paperwork. There's a lot of forms,” she revealed.

Across the course of her experiences she had to deal with embassies and emergency passports to simply sourcing the correct formula in a foreign country.

“It's quite a complex process, but yeah I think I think if you've got a really good system in place it does make it a lot easier,” she shared.

Despite the difficulties, international surrogacy opened a door Jess once thought had closed for good.

“It really does allow us to complete our family without having to you know close that chapter like I first thought. I'm very grateful for the age that we live in,” she said.

Now, she has the family she always dreamed of.

“It's two more people to love in our family. I just couldn't imagine life without them in it after all this,” she explained.

In Australia commercial surrogacy is illegal in New South Wales, Queensland and the Australian Capital Territory.

For more information about surrogacy in Australia, visit the Australian Government website. 

*Names have been altered for publication.

Originally published as After years of IVF, we knew we had to try something else. Now we have two kids