‘Instantly knew I was wrong’: Daughter’s sad spiral from Snapchat to Anorexia

After begging for months to download Snapchat, Fiona finally gave in to her daughter. A little over 12 months later, her once carefree girl was diagnosed with a horror condition.

Please, mum, can I have Snapchat?

She begged relentlessly for months.

My gut instinct told me that she was too young and vulnerable to enter the potentially dangerous world of social media, but her pleas were unyielding.

She was petite, athletic, smart, with loads of friends and all the love in the world to give.

I finally caved into her pleas when she was only 12.

Immediately, I knew I had made a mistake.

The addiction was almost instant, snapping and posting, waiting for the comments.

If validation didn’t come within the first few seconds, there was despair until the relief of the first interaction, then another and another…… until the comments started to become hateful!

Her so-called “friends” were suddenly attacking her, “No one cares” they would write or “You’re so annoying”.

My carefree little girl suddenly started to question everything she knew and the world around her quickly became dark, lonely, and silent.

Although I had a very communicative relationship with my daughter, the speed at which it all happened meant it was too far gone before I even knew it had started.

The content started to become more targeted.

She started to compare EVERYTHING! Made to feel she wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, thin enough…

Inevitably, she started to research how to become thin – the amount of ghoulish advice that came from that place was profound.

Advice on starvation, and hours of exercise are what she adhered to.

The voices came next, and the self-sabotage became intense.

Desperate, she would turn to social media for solace, but all she got was validation that she didn’t fit the mould.

By this stage, I had finally realised that something wasn’t right and tried to reason with the beast that was an eating disorder.

I continuously tried to take social media off her with no avail – she was sinking into a place of hopelessness so rapidly, that there was no fighting the gritty presence of social media, and it won her over every time.

Next came 12 months of numerous misdiagnoses and countless late-night visits to the emergency department before we finally were told that our very sick girl was battling Anorexia Nervosa.

Even after the diagnosis, social media was telling her she was doing it wrong! She needed to be the sickest. She was shown other people with Anorexia Nervosa who seemed to be doing it tougher than she was – so she needed to try harder… to be sicker...and the cycle continued.

It was a fight like no other.

Fast forward two years, and there is hope. Our baby girl is slowly coming back to us and is doing well in her recovery.

Ironically, the same platform that dragged her into the black hole in the first place is now aiding her recovery. She can stay connected with other young people she met in the hospital.

Social media is a strange thing, it was also an unexpected aid for me as a caregiver.

During the times that I felt isolated and obscure, social media was able to give me a platform to discreetly connect with people from all over the world who were experiencing a similar fate.

We share stories of similar successes and woes.

Sometimes I want to hear the good news stories, and I read just them.

Most of the time though, I just want confirmation that I’m not the only mum who gave in to the beast that caused us bedlam in the first place.

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For help with emotional difficulties, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or www.lifeline.org.au

For help with depression, contact Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36 or at www.beyondblue.org.au

The SANE Helpline is 1800 18 SANE (7263) or at www.sane.org

Originally published as ‘Instantly knew I was wrong’: Daughter’s sad spiral from Snapchat to Anorexia