I excluded my fiancee’s nephews from the wedding, but my family’s kids can come

“My fiancee finds them too rowdy and active, and he’s had bad experiences with them at other family events, so he’d rather they weren’t at the wedding,” Winnie explains.

Alexandra Feiam

3 min read

August 31, 2023 - 7:15AM

Why kids SHOULD be included at your wedding

Family Life

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It was the lead-up to Winnie* and *Joshua’s wedding, and everything was going to plan.

Both with large families, the pair had to decide who should be invited to the event and who would have to be left on the sidelines.

Ultimately they decided to have a handful of close friends and family, adding up to 100 guests in total.

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Winnie and Joshua don't want the destructive kids at their wedding. Source: iStock

Couple agree to invite kids from one side of the family but not the other

There are a lot of kids in Winnie’s family - seven, in fact - aged between 18 and toddlers. Joshua’s siblings also had a few young boys of their own.

“When we were planning the wedding, I said I wanted to have the children in my family at the ceremony and the reception,” Winnie told Reddit.

Joshua was happy to invite the kids on Winnie’s side, but he had a major stipulation.

“He didn’t want to invite his nephews,” she said. “He finds them too rowdy and active, and he’s had bad experiences with them at other family events, so he’d rather they weren’t at the wedding.”

According to Winnie, the boys had walked up to the uncut cake at other weddings and “grabbed literal handfuls of cake before the meal had even been served.”

Their parents “just laughed about it,” she said.

Other offences they’ve caused include refusing to sit at the table while food is being served, sometimes causing waiters to drop food and plates.

They’ve also “brought footballs inside a venue and starting kicking it about inside, including into people,” Winnie said.

Despite being troublemakers on multiple occasions, their parents refuse to discipline them. “The family’s attitude is very much ‘let boys be boys’,” she said.

Winnie and Joshua agreed, based on past experiences, that the boys would not be invited to the wedding.

“[Joshua] told his family the children weren’t invited,” Winnie explained. “I guess my in-laws assumed no children would be there.”

The day of the big event rolled around, and everything seemed to be going to plan. However, Joshua’s in-laws quickly discovered that children were, in fact, allowed to attend, and it was just their offspring that were rejected from the invitation.

The family were “fussing” about the guest list, prompting Joshua to speak to them. “I know his older brother and oldest sister still tried to sneak their kids into the reception before security stopped it,” Winnie wrote.

In the weeks since the wedding and honeymoon, Winnie’s in-laws are yet to forget the awkward situation, accusing her of “driving a wedge” between the two families.

“This is a husband issue to resolve”

Online, people believed that the blame should land on everyone, not just Winnie.

“You maybe could have gotten away with excluding the nephews if you stuck to having just the teenagers on your side; but no, you included your family's toddlers as well,” a person commented.

“I understand the logic, but this was never going to pan out well once your husband’s family realised it was one rule for them and one rule for your family,” another agreed.

Some suggested Winnie had a lot of “damage control” to consider before repairing the relationship with her in-laws. “Since your family was in attendance and his was not, they are going to blame you for driving the wedge through him and his family,” read a comment.

But for others, Winnie wasn’t in the wrong at all, and the blame should be placed squarely on her husband’s head. “Her husband didn't want his family, and he should communicate that,” someone argued. “She didn't mind and wanted children there.”

“This is a husband issue to resolve,” another agreed. “He needs to explain why those brats weren't invited. He should have done this before the wedding.”

*Names have been changed