Friend to dozens of Aussie celebrities reveals what he’s been hiding

An astonishing number of celebrities count this journalist as a close personal friend, but while his career might seem glamorous, he’s been hiding a lot until now.

Reading the opening pages of celebrity journalist Jonathon Moran’s first book, Mental as Anyone, two things hit you at once.

First, you’re taken through a who’s who of the Australian entertainment industry - most of them counted as personal friends to the veteran reporter.

From Guy Sebastian to Chelsea Bonner to Michael Clarke and Larry Emdur; the volume of people (almost all of whom Moran has written about in the past) who have come forward to endorse his efforts is striking.

The second thing that hits you is how often these stars repeat two refrains: one, that “J-Mo”, as he is known in the biz, is one of the nicest people you’ll ever come across, and two, that until reading the book, they had no idea the level of trauma he was dealing with personally.

“I think I’ve basically spent my whole life hiding parts of who I was,” reflects J-Mo.

“I mean, I spent my teenage years pretending to be a straight guy, having relationships with women.”

The hiding stopped with the book, however, with the writer laying bare a “warts and all” look at the sexuality, trauma, drug and alcohol and mental health struggles that have plagued (and nearly ended) his life.

Australia is in the grips of a mental health crisis, and people are struggling to know who to turn to, especially our younger generations. Can We Talk? is a News Corp awareness campaign, in partnership with Medibank, equipping Aussies with the skills needed to have the most important conversation of their life.

From detailing the childhood sexual abuse he experienced as a schoolboy in Canberra, to severe depression, suicide attempts and hospitalisation, J-Mo shares his own story alongside helpful tips from psychologist Dr Jodie Lowinger.

“Society is only really now at a point where it is acceptable to talk about this kind of stuff,” says J-Mo.

“And still, some people dismiss the conversation as being ‘woke’ or in some way an exaggeration to get on the bandwagon - which is a really dangerous path to take, I think.

“The truth is that we have a mental health crisis globally that is beyond a crisis. It’s absolute desperation, and I keep saying this, but the statistics are terrifying: nine people kill themselves a day in Australia, and seven of those are men.”

Part of the reason, he believes, is simple: “men don’t talk”.

“The conversation has stopped at RUOK,” he says.

“And don’t get me wrong, it’s a great initiative, but people don’t know how to take it any further than that.”

Jonathan Moran, pictured with Sam Frost and Conrad Sewell at his Brisbane book launch, has accrued many celebrity friends throughout his career. Picture: Steve Pohlner

It’s an opinion also borne out by the research.

New research conducted by News Corp's Growth Distillery with Medibank found almost half of Australians acknowledge they lacked the necessary tools or knowledge to effectively engage in conversation when approached by someone to discuss their mental health.

In terms of initiating the conversation themselves, not wanting to be a burden to others is by far the biggest barrier that holds Australians back from talking about mental wellbeing - and something J-Mo admits has been part of his story at various stages in his life.

In the book, he writes about being forced to come out to his mother and twin sister at 17, after his long-term abuser began threatening him with exposure in what he describes as “a cat-and-mouse game he played constantly to keep me on my toes”.

Opening up to the two most important people in his life had lasting protective impacts across J-Mo’s life.

As he has battled through incredibly dark periods, he credits his mum, while she was still alive, and now his twin sister and four nieces, with saving his life more than once.

“Without them I know I wouldn’t be here,” he says plainly, “because there have been times when I really, really didn’t want to be. I didn’t see any value in my own life, but even at my worst I knew that I couldn’t put them through the pain and trauma of taking my own life. That’s the honest truth.”

There are other relationships that have helped him along the way, says J-Mo, and he is quick to point out that while he feels mostly mentally healthy these days, he understands that he isn’t “healed”, and will always be “a work in progress”.

Jonathan Moran. Picture: Christian Gilles

“I have friends who have scooped me up off the floor,” he explains, “and I mean that quite literally - friends who have picked me up when I was a mess and rallied around me in those moments when I didn’t feel strong. But it’s my sister I speak to multiple times a day. She and my nieces and brother-in-law are incredibly important to me.”

There have even been moments of connection with celebrities that have stayed with him long after the interview ended - many of which he writes about in the book.

“There’s a chapter in the book where I talk about a moment I had with the late Carrie Fisher, after which we became work friends,” he explains.

“I recognised in her the kind of fragility I had inside me, and I looked up to her as someone who had come through that trauma.”

Also detailed in the book are J-Mo’s myriad lighter moments with the stars he’s written about - from an embarrassing story he told Madonna about a sexy fling and mistaken identity, to the time Robbie Williams pashed him on the red carpet.

“I’ve put it all in there,” says J-Mo. “Everything. Because I know that the key to people being able to open up more about this stuff is vulnerability.

He’s also committed to providing a safe space for people in his life who might not be OK.

“I’m not a medical professional or anything, which is why I’ve collaborated with Dr Jodie Lowinger on the book, but for me, I think being open and true to yourself and the other person, as well as showing up with kindness and empathy, are key.”

“If I ask someone how they’re doing and they come back with ‘pretty average’, I might feel a little taken aback by their honesty, but then I would say ‘I’m sorry to hear that. I’m here if you need to talk, whenever that might be.’ I think that’s crucial - how you respond.”

“You know, I sound like I’m watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race, where they show a picture of one of the stars as a little boy and they ask, ‘what would you like to tell yourself?’” he chuckles.

“But the truth is that I would say this: ‘you are going to be okay and that life is worth living. It sounds so cheesy, but that’s the truth, because there were times where I didn’t want to be here. And so I wish I was able to get into my head and tell myself that I was good enough.”

“The problem is that I am still dealing with that,” J-Mo continues.

“I’m not pretending I’m fixed. I’m not a fixed human, so I don’t envisage that my mental health will be perfect in 20 years time, 30 years time, or 40 years time. But what I can tell you is that I want to live for another 20, 30, or 40 years, which is a big thing, because I spent the first 40 years of my life not wanting to live.”

Originally published as Friend to dozens of Aussie celebrities reveals what he’s been hiding