'Fever dream material': These TV shows might explain why Aussies are so screwed up

Before there was Bluey on demand, Aussie kids had five free-to-air channels, a dodgy aerial, and a terrifying puppet with a pencil for a nose.

Back in the day, kids didn’t have seven streaming services, an algorithm that knew what they liked before they did, or the ability to binge a full season before school drop-off.

 

No, we were built different. Raised on a dusty VHS collection, a handful of scratchy DVDs, and whatever the five free-to-air channels felt like dishing up that afternoon - if the aerial wasn’t throwing a tantrum.

And don’t get us started on the excitement of going to a cousin’s place who owned The Little Mermaid on VHS. Royalty.

Sure, we had our wholesome staples - Sesame Streetwas a banger, and Bear in the Big Blue House gave us emotional intelligence before it was cool - but some of our other telly options? In hindsight, they were less “educational enrichment” and more “fever dream brought to you by sleep deprivation and puppets.”

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The weird television shows that raised us

Here are just a few of the shows that shaped us… and possibly warped us just a little.

Mulligrubs

If you ever wanted to know what it’s like to be shouted at by a disembodied face projected onto a pastel void, Mulligrubs was your jam. The face didn’t blink. The background didn’t change. But somehow, it held our attention like a cult leader. Terrifying. Mesmerising. Aussie icon.

Image: Network Ten

The Ferals

A show about feral animals living in a share house and constantly trying to ruin the lives of the humans upstairs. It was Neighbours meets meth lab, but for kids. Pure chaos.

Image: ABC Television

Mr Squiggle

A puppet with a pencil for a nose who lived on the moon and needed to be dragged to Earth in a rocket ship just to draw upside-down doodles while Miss Jane looked stressed. Bonus points for the grumpy blackboard who hated his job. Honestly, relatable.

Image: ABC Television

Worzel Gummidge

A sentient scarecrow with detachable heads and the vibes of a man who shouldn't be allowed near a playground. Somehow this was marketed as a children’s show and not a low-budget horror film. British kids' TV really said “Let’s emotionally scar them early.”

Image: ABC Television

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Dinosaurs

A sitcom starring full-body animatronic dinosaurs living in suburbia. The dad worked in construction, the baby was a menace, and everyone pretended like this was normal. The series ended with the extinction of the dinosaurs. Like… actual apocalypse. Sweet dreams, kids!

Image: ABC Television

Monkey Magic

Nothing bonded Aussie kids quite like being absolutely baffled by Monkey Magic. Dubbed so badly, this Japanese fantasy epic featured a monkey god, a dragon horse, and a bloke with a rake - all on a pilgrimage to enlightenment. Did we understand what was going on? Not really. Were we obsessed? Completely. Between the overacting, the fight scenes, and the random moral lessons, it was chaotic brilliance.

Image: ABC Television

Plasmo

A stop-motion sci-fi series about a blob with no bones and big eyes, floating through space with other mutated misfits. Everyone looked like they were melting. It was existential dread with a plasticine budget. Loved it.

Image: ABC Television

Johnson and Friends

Toys coming to life when humans leave the room? Cute! Until you realised Johnson was a giant pink elephant living in a child's bedroom with a hot water bottle that thought he was a Scotsman. Slightly Toy Story, mostly trippy.

Image: ABC Television

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Gogs

This claymation series featured prehistoric cave people screaming unintelligibly at each other while setting things on fire and throwing up. Each episode was about five minutes long and packed with more chaos than a Year 1 classroom on red cordial.

Image: ABC Television

Magic Mountain

Four life-sized animals - including a dragon and a panda - lived on a mountain and spoke with dubbed-over Aussie voices. It felt like a fever dream on a Sunday morning when you were half-awake and full of Coco Pops.

Image: ABC Television

In the Night Garden

This one came in later years, but still deserves a spot for being arguably the weirdest of them all. A cast of plush toys in a bizarre psychedelic forest, featuring Iggle Piggle, Upsy Daisy and a sentient vacuum cleaner. The show was allegedly designed to help toddlers wind down before bed. The result? Lucid dreams for everyone.

Image: ABC Television

So if your childhood memories feel a bit... unhinged? Blame the TV. But hey, we turned out (mostly) fine - and at least we didn’t grow up thinking “skip intro” was a basic human right.

Originally published as 'Fever dream material': These TV shows might explain why Aussies are so screwed up