A parent shamed me for openly breastfeeding on a plane

"Mid-flight, a flight attendant tapped my shoulder. She said that I 'needed to cover up' because there were men and children around."

A mother recently shared her distressing encounter where she was asked by multiple flight attendants to cover up while breastfeeding her five-month-old daughter on a flight.

In her frustrated post, the woman explained that her daughter is great on planes "as long as she's on me and has access to food and as long as her head isn’t covered."

So knowing that breastfeeding keeps her baby comfortable and quiet, that’s exactly what she did on the flight. 

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They told me it was "common courtesy" to cover up

The mum recalled: "Mid-flight, a flight attendant tapped my shoulder. She said that I 'needed to cover up' because 'there were men and children around.'

"My daughter was fully latched and had been the entire flight, so there was no nipple or even areola showing. The top of my breast was showing, but… I mean, I used to show more cleavage on a weekend night out. Swimsuits show more."

So she explained to the flight attendant that her daughter won’t eat or sleep while covered but was told this didn’t matter, she still needed to cover up.

Throughout their interaction, the staff revealed that 'covering up' wasn't an official policy of the airline, but rather a "common courtesy."

Later on in the flight, two other flight attendants told her the same thing. But the concern wasn't coming from them - worse - it was coming from another PARENT. 

"A parent complained over their child seeing that," one of the flight attendants told the mum. 

Obviously, the woman was boggled by this, continuing her post by saying, "...A parent who has also raised and fed a child, and who has presumably dealt with an unhappy child on a plane, found it so offensive that I fed my child in public that they complained.

"Feeding my child was either sexualised for men or inappropriate for children"

"My baby cried for the final 45 minutes of the flight [because] I tried to get her to nurse-covered. She refused. The people around us were clearly frustrated. I don’t blame them. I was frustrated too.

"I feel like I failed her. I feel like I should have refused to cover up and should have nursed her openly as I planned. I hated listening to her cry, hated struggling to hold her while her head was covered, hated dealing with back pain as I tried to hold her in a way where she’d get comfortable. I was just so shocked by the demand that I cover up that I froze—and it was a demand.

"There was such a tone of disrespect bordering on hostility that I can’t even explain. I felt like such an inconvenience at best—or a pervert at worst—based on the way these flight attendants spoke to me."

The mum then concluded her post by saying how she's still upset by the incident, especially the "men and children" comment. 

"The message I received was that the feeding of my child was either sexualised, for men, or inappropriate, for children, and I can’t decide which idea upsets me more."

Image: IStock

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"The airline failed your daughter"

The post attracted thousands of responses from users who were shocked by the treatment the mum received.

One person said, "I would file a complaint with the airline immediately."

Another commenter empathised, stating, "It’s really hard to be in a confined space full of people judging you/making rude comments and making you feel like you’re doing something wrong. It’s normal to have tried to comply and cover up to get the comments to stop. You didn’t fail your daughter. The airline failed your daughter."

The issue of the legalities of breastfeeding in public was raised by many commenters too. One person said, "Breastfeeding is a right. This is illegal. You can file an official complaint with the Department of Justice (DoJ)."

Another commenter added, "If it were me, I would let them know their employees broke the law by asking you to cover yourself and notify them that you will be filing an official complaint with the DoJ."

"It's 'courtesy' to respect a breastfeeding parent"

The overall sentiment was one of outrage, with one person expressing their anger by admitting, "I almost downvoted this because it upset me so much, it was my knee-jerk reaction."

Another commenter pointed out, "It's 'courtesy' to respect a breastfeeding parent and not complain about them feeding their child. Boobs are boobs, get over it."

Then this woman highlighted the irony of the situation, replying, "The thing that especially boggles my mind here is that everyone on a flight is facing forward unless they’re up to use the bathroom. It’s one of the most discreet public places to nurse. So whoever complained probably saw you in passing for a matter of seconds as they were coming to and from the bathroom. People can be the worst. I’m so sorry this happened."

Others simply expressed their support for the mum.

One person sympathised, saying, "I’d be livid. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I totally get the feeling of shock though and trying to cover up, sometimes I’d probably do the same thing. But what the hell."

Originally published as A parent shamed me for openly breastfeeding on a plane