Former addict’s incredible transformation

A woman has revealed how she couldn’t stop using drugs even when she was on bail for supplying them.

A woman has revealed how she couldn’t stop using drugs even when she was on bail for supplying them.

Tahlia Isaac was just 18 and starting university in a place where nobody knew her when she started partying every weekend. It wasn’t long before that partying included drugs such as cocaine and ecstasy.

She was young, experimenting and pushing boundaries. It wasn’t long before she tried ice for the first time.

“I didn’t have a strong sense of identity or belonging and so when a relationship broke down in my early adulthood, I found myself experimenting with amphetamines and it provided that escape from reality I was searching for,” she told news.com.au.

It wasn’t long before she was using substances to get through the day — even though it wasn’t a cognitive choice she was making. She said it was almost like her addiction crept up on her without her even noticing.

Tahlia Isaac was a drug addict for a decade. Picture: Supplied

“Sometimes I would be able to find my way out and stay off drugs for a few weeks. Most of the time I held a job, and other times it would totally consume me and my life was chaos,” she said.

At one point, she was even smoking the drug in the bathroom at work. A decade into using, things escalated and she made bad decisions out of a need to survive. Her life had spiralled out of control and it led to her being charged by police with supply and possession.

“I never liked being in trouble, so being arrested brought with it feelings of shame and fear,” she said.

But even that wasn’t enough to scare Ms Isaac into giving up the drug. She was released on bail without any support and quickly returned to her old ways. Looking back, she wishes there was more support for drug users on bail. Her breach of her bail conditions landed her back in jail, where she close to a year.

It was this time in prison that allowed Ms Isaac to detox from the drugs, and start seeing a counsellor. She said she was able to stop using because she got to the root of why.

At the time of her arrest. Picture: Supplied

“I worked on all the trauma I had experienced in my adult life with a therapist, and started to build out an identity away from substances and the life associated with it,” the mother-of-two said.

“When I was released from prison I also had a safe home, my family who were supportive and a few key people who cared enough about me to see me succeed. In the early days it was hard because I didn't really know who I was if I wasn't using drugs.

“I didn't feel like I fit into the community and I was unemployable. It’s hard to feel a constant rejection from a community you want to be part of but you are constantly judged on your past and not for who you are trying to become.”

Before this, she tried several times to stop using but it never stuck because she didn’t believe her life was worth it, and said the notion of “going into recovery” was too narrow.

She said she ultimately takes responsibility for all of her choices as no one forced her hand, but it’s never really black and white when it comes to addiction.

Following her release, Ms Isaac began Project:herSELF, which supports women impacted by the justice system rebuild their life.

Ms Isaac now works to help others like her. Picture: Supplied

“The current system is not keeping up with our progressive values. It punishes poverty, trauma, and survival, while silencing the voices of women who have lived through it,” she said.

“We believe that women with lived prison experience must lead the way in reimagining justice. When women thrive, communities thrive. By ending the over-incarceration of women, we address the root causes of many of today’s most urgent social challenges; housing insecurity, family separation, generational trauma, youth offending and economic participation. “Our work is about restoring dignity, shifting power, and building a future where justice begins with care.”

She said plenty of women have ended up in prison after one mistake, and it’s important to express empathy.

And for those who are where the 34-year-old was in 2018, she said there are people who care and can help.

“Would my life have been easier if I had stopped using before I got charged? For sure. But I was so blinded by my pain that I really didn’t see a way out,” she said.

“That’s the point about self determination though – allowing people to make decisions about their lives and allowing them that privilege. Then being there with care and kindness should they feel like those decisions were wrong and they want to make better ones.”

Originally published as Former addict’s incredible transformation