James Weir recaps Married At First Sight episode 23: ‘Bogan’ MAFS wife ‘attacks’ other bride
The MAFS cast has exploded at a boozy getaway in Byron Bay, with a string of petty insults sparking an attack. James Weir recaps.
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The Married At First Sight cast explodes on Wednesday night when they find out they’ve been dubbed “trolls”, “buffoons” and “drunk bogans” – all offensive, though not entirely inaccurate, insults.
What transpires? The alleged trolls drink too much beer in a backyard and start swearing at each other.
Definitely not the behaviour of drunk bogans.
JAMES WEIR:Read all the recaps here
We pick up where we left off last night – at a girls-only cocktail party, which Lauren has walked out of because she thinks her co-stars are, ahem, “f***ing losers”.
“They’re such losers and they sit around all day talking about each other’s personal lives,” she tells a producer. “I think they’re bogans.”
Carina and Rhi walk out to check on her.
“They’re buffoons,” Lauren tells her two new allies. “Sorry if they’re your friends but I don’t really like them.”
Carina shrugs, not disagreeing with the buffoons remark.
“I get what you’re saying and that’s OK,” she says.
Inside the party, word is spreading that Lauren called all the ladies “drunk bogans”.
“Lauren has blatantly s**t on all of us,” Jamie fumes while rallying the troops.
Well, Jamie, prepare to get dumped on again. Lauren struts her demure kitten heels back into the room.
This fight was all sparked because the girls wanted Lauren to divulge more about her relationship but she refused. Now, she decides to give them a small but potent snippet.
“I don’t have a connection with Clint. There is no spark,” she says, before shooting the girls a withering glance. “I just don’t feel I need to share it with all of you.”
This cold remark rattles the cages of all the buffoons.
“That’s actually really f**kin’ rude,” Beth gasps.
“Watch ya tone! Watch ya f**kin’ tone!” Jamie yells. “I’m ready to go back to the boys and expose Lauren to the rest of the group. How dare you call us drunk bogans! What a f**kin’ bitch.”
By now, she’s screaming and madly waving around her index finger — a tactic she obviously learnt from Morena.
Lauren doesn’t know what’s worse: being locked in a room with these ferals or being locked in a room with Smeliot and his BO.
Jamie and her troops run home to gather the boys in a makeshift war room. They share details of the damage done by their enemy – how she’s not into Clint and, more importantly, how she called them drunk bogans.
The rest of the insults soon start to leak. Jamie finds out Lauren is now referring to her as a troll.
This is the final straw for Troll … sorry, I mean: Jamie. It’s the final straw for Jamie. She pledges to take down Lauren at the backyard piss-up party.
But before she can, my boyfriend Dave steps in to defend the drunk bogans. Sorry, I mean: ladies. He steps in to defend the ladies.
“It’s pretty rude that you call these beautiful women trolls and bogans,” he barks at Lauren.
“You’re a bunch of wild animals,” Lauren hisses, like an evil sphynx cat perched on a velvet cushion. “Rhi and Carina both said they felt like I was attacked.”
Jamie’s head explodes. Her voice gets louder and louder.
Lauren’s husband Clint – desperate to prove he can be an alpha male – steps in.
“Sydney can hear you now,” he taunts Jamie about her voice.
We immediately experience PTSD flashbacks from the last time someone’s voice was criticised for being too loud at one of these MAFS retreats. We brace for a glass to be smashed. But the Waterford crystal is saved by my boyfriend Dave, who stands up to Clint.
“Don’t!” he warns.
“She’s actually embarrassing herself,” Clint taunts. “Jamie, sit the f**k down. Sit the f**k down.”
“Don’t swear at her mate!” Dave warns, looming over Clint.
Ooft. Clint. Getting in a cat fight with someone else’s wife is not the right way to go about proving your alpha status. You should’ve just mowed the lawn and made Lauren wash your clothes.
As the chaos rolls on, Lauren pops up and struts away, leaving everyone else to scream at each other in the backyard while clutching plastic cups of alcohol.
The scene doesn’t help to quash the “drunk bogan” allegations.
Facebook: @hellojamesweir
Originally published as James Weir recaps Married At First Sight episode 23: ‘Bogan’ MAFS wife ‘attacks’ other bride
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