Sex butler among top 10 concierge services

THE tanning butler, the proposal concierge and the sex butler. These are among the top 10 hotel concierge services in the world.

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"I NEED 12 albino peacocks right now!"

If you've ever uttered this statement, or something like it, you may be the kind of guest currently being catered to in the swankiest hotels all over the world. You might stay at great hotels and eat at the best restaurants, but do you sometimes find that’s not enough? Maybe it's because your time is precious, or maybe it's because you enjoy living large and splashing out on the extravagant. Whatever the case, as a traveller, you have a multitude of needs and requests that require the service of a certain type of person. Enter: hotel concierge services. 

What are hotel concierge services?

Essentially, a concierge is a man at a hotel who gets paid to do tasks (with an obligatory smile on his face) for wealthy and demanding guests. This can be anything from running miscellaneous errands to making reservations at restaurants, arranging concert tickets, or even other more clandestine requests, if you catch my drift.

However, hotel concierge services are not just about finding people to do ordinary things like book concert tickets; they're about paying the right people with the right connections to get tickets for the concert that's been sold out for two months. There are dozens of willing dogsbodies out there, but there are only a few hotel concierges who have the necessary connections to pull off the incredible, and that’s why we’ve listed them for you here.

Here are the top 10 hotel concierge services to take advantage of during your travels.

Number 10 - The Tanning Butler

The Ritz-Carlton South Beach in Florida is home to Malcolm, the tanning butler. Each day between 11 a.m. - 3 p.m., you needn't worry about applying your own sunscreen. Some might find this luxurious (if having a buff dude smear oil all over your back is your idea of luxury), but most will agree that this is one service you could do without. Rumor has it, though, that there’s been talk of hiring a tanning maid to get those other hard-to-reach places that Malcolm can't get to - namely, other men.

Number 9 - The Romance Concierge

All those emotionally crippled men must check out this hotel concierge service: At the 70 Park Avenue Hotel in Manhattan, the concierge will come up with all the romantic ideas needed to keep your little lady purring all weekend. All you have to do is throw some cash their way and you can have rose petals arranged around the edge of your bed, get Frank Sinatra piped in through the foyer's loudspeakers every time you and your beloved walk in, and hell, maybe even get a few custom-made poems to call your own.

Number 8 - The Technology Butler

The hotel concierge service at the Ritz-Carlton Phoenix has tackled the ever-present problem of the computer-dependent-yet-still-illiterate guest. Their technology butler will gladly take care of any setup glitches you have; they'll defrag anything that needs it while you kick back, tee it up or tackle the minibar.

Number 7 - The Cheese Man

At La Posada Hotel in Santa Fe, New Mexico, genuine consultation is offered on all things cheese. Why? Because plush holidays are all about overindulgence, of course. More than 20 types of cheese are available to guests dining in the hotel restaurant, as well as weekly wine-and-cheese tastings that the cheese man can keep you abreast of.

Number 6 - The Soap Concierge

If you're planning a dirty weekend away, you might want to ask yourself: How much soap should I bring? However, you never have to worry about keeping clean at the Tides Riviera Maya on Mexico's Yucatan Peninsula, whose official soap concierge will take care of all that. If you really want to impress your travel partner, seek out the soap concierge beforehand to discover which soap is best suited for the occasion: cinnamon or oatmeal vanilla - always a tough call.

Number 5 - The Proposal Concierge

Are you clueless like most men when it comes to thinking up original romantic ideas? Don’t worry; the good people at Cambridge Beaches Hotel in Bermuda have your back. Recently added to their helpful staff is a specially trained honeymoon and proposal concierge who, among other things, will discreetly offer sound advice to the guy planning to pop the big question during his visit. You'll sit down together and come up with a proposal setting so perfect that it will be virtually impossible for your girlfriend to say no.

Number 4 - The Ski Concierge

Going on a ski holiday is seldom as simple as it sounds. There's bad weather to navigate, gear to be rented and lugged up the hill, skis to be waxed, lift tickets to be purchased, and gear to be returned at the end of each day - all leaving very little time and energy for the most important things: après ski time and bunny-chasing. This is why the Four Seasons Hotel in Vancouver, British Columbia, gives its guests access to a ski concierge for help with all that tiresome stuff. 

Number 3 - The Sex Butler

The increasing popularity of the more intimate "boutique hotel" has altered what is expected in the way of bedroom services and amenities. After all, do weary travelers actually find solace in an old copy of Gideon’s Bible, or would they rather open their bedside drawer to find a "fun pack" filled with condoms, lube and porn? The Indigo Hotel in Scottsdale, Arizona, is one of many hotels that have embraced the notion that replacing traditional room supplies with something people might actually use, like sexual paraphernalia, is a good idea. They even offer a "one-night stand package", which includes some of the kinky things mentioned and a "late checkout time" of 1 p.m.

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Number 2

The Golf Concierge

Making plans for a golf holiday requires a host of considerations that we don't always to want to bother with. At the Victoria Golf & Beach Resort in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic, you get your very own golf concierge to take care of all the details, such as finding you a suitable foursome to play with, arranging a caddie, and providing transportation to and from the course.

Number 1

The Pet Concierge

Surely only the English could think of this hotel concierge service: At the 41 Hotel, near Buckingham Palace in London, a 24-hour concierge service is available for guests’ pets because, naturally, they have needs too. Each pet receives a "doggie-bag" that comes equipped with a toy, a treat, a tag, and a cleanup bag. Dog-sitting, dog-grooming and dog-walking are of course all available, and the pet concierge will even provide leashes, beds, water bowls, and bathrobes for your little furry little companions. Yes, that’s right. Bathrobes.

Helping Hand

Visiting a new city can be a stressful ordeal; you don't know your way around, don't know the best places to pass the time, and don't have access to the regular connections you would back home to help you nab the best table at the fanciest restaurant. Thankfully, for those with a limitless credit card, utilizing the services offered by the hotel concierge makes all those problems suddenly disappear. Try it; you could soon be enjoying a fine glass of wine in the corner booth at Alain Ducasse's newest eatery with no effort at all.

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