Butler, please bring me some sex toys

FORGET asking for free wi-fi. Top hotels have to stand out these days. And some take it to the extreme, with everything from a ‘pleasure menu’ to Great White Shark stalking on offer.

FREE Wi-Fi now comes as standard, perks for pooches are on the rise, and many top spas have hotels attached. For trip with a difference (we’re talking Tesla rides, shark-stalking expeditions and fireplace butlers) check into one of these perktastic properties.

SEX TOYS ON TAP

Hotels and sex are natural partners, but packing kinky accoutrements can be a mood killer — and handcuffs in your carry-on could cause delays at security. If you’re going to Canada, The Drake Hotel in Toronto makes your sexytime stress-free with its Pleasure Menu, a room-service orgy of condoms, floggers, vibrators and a 24-carat gold dildo that seems the very embodiment of (s)excess.

No need to pack the fluffy red handcuffs if you’re off to Canada.

GREAT WHITE SHARK STALKING

If you’re heading to the US and love great white sharks, at Chatham Bars Inn, in the town of Chatham in Massachusetts, guests can hop aboard a research vessel to help track, photograph and even tag specimens.

TESLA SERVICE

Virgin Hotels have teamed up with Tesla to offer guests at their Chicago hotel a car service with a difference. An electric Tesla Model S is available to guests on a first-come, first-served basis. The car is available to guests seven days a week to take them to select areas of Chicago.

I’m looking good now I have this good-looking car.

FIREPLACE BUTLER

If you’re headed to Santa Fe in New Mexico, the Four Seasons Santa Fe has a fireplace butler on hand for you. The on-call lumber steward (swoon) brings you fresh logs and then builds and/or stokes your fire to your exact, if clueless, specifications.

PUPPIES MATCHED WITH GUESTS

If you’re in the US and you’re missing your pooch, then stay at the Red Rock Mountain Resort and Spa in Southwest Utah. Puppies are delivered from the local shelter to the all-inclusive resort and each four-legger is paired with a hotel guest for a hike through nearby Snow Canyon State Park.

SLEEP CONSULTANT

Next time you’re in New York and want to get your insomnia fixed, stay at The Benjamin in Manhattan so expert Rebecca Robbins can offer you some advice. The sleep-medicine professor has designed an entire program to help you nod off, including in-room spa treatments, eye masks, a lullaby music library and a pillow menu. Sounds like the best sleepcation ever.

This article was originally published in Time Out and was republished by New York Post.