‘Show your face’: Ex-captain slams England for post-match Ashes act

An Ashes-winning captain was no fan of how England reacted to defeat as Joe Root once again played a lone hand after the final ball.

Joe Root was left one-out. Photo: Getty Images/Fox Sports.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did.

England’s humiliation was summed up by the fact the Boxing Day Test finished before the Sydney to Hobart yacht race as Joe Root’s men surrendered at the MCG.

Australia romped to a 3-0 series lead to retain the Ashes, needing less than two-and-a-half days to thrash the Poms in Melbourne by an innings and 14 runs.

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Debutant Scott Boland looked as though he could take a wicket every ball from the Southern Stand End on Tuesday. The Victorian obliterated England’s middle-order, finishing with the astonishing figures of 6/7 from four overs.

The Melbourne spectators witnessed a remarkable procession of wickets. England’s batters looked entirely out of their depth as they marched to and from the dressing rooms in quick succession.

Cameron Green put the final nail in the coffin, bowling tailender James Anderson at 11.50am. England was all out for 68, the side’s lowest total in Australia since 1904.

The series was done.

England’s lowest team total in Australia

45 - Sydney, 1887

61 - Melbourne, 1902

61 - Melbourne, 1904

65 - Sydney, 1895

68 - Melbourne, 2021

Scott Boland claimed a six-wicket haul on debut. Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images

Australia’s cricketers ultimately needed just 12 days to retain the Ashes.

In the 2019 series, Steve Smith had plundered 671 runs before the Aussies retained the coveted urn. This summer, he only batted four times for 127 runs before the series had been decided.

It’s the third consecutive tour Down Under in which England has lost the Ashes before the fourth Test. Its last victory on Australian soil in the five-day format was back in January 2011.

England has been outclassed in every facet of the game this summer - batting, bowling, slip catching, ground fielding, captaincy, selection and strategy. The only figure in which England’s touring squad bettered the Aussies was in positive Covid-19 cases.

Speaking to former Australian wicketkeeper Adam Gilchrist in the post-match ceremony, Root said: “I’m absolutely gutted, bitterly disappointed.

“We need to put some pride back in the badge.

“Credit to Australia. They blew us away last night and have outplayed is throughout the Test match and series.

“Got a lot of hard work to do to make sure we come back strong in the last two games.”

Ex-England captain Michael Vaughan slammed Root’s teammates for not remaining on the MCG turf while the skipper faced the music after the demoralising defeat.

“What I didn’t like, when Joe Root was doing the press and doing the interview with Gilly, and I didn’t see any other England players out there. I didn’t like that,” Vaughan told Fox Cricket.

“I didn’t like the fact that the England players – they went straight down into the dressing room. They’re embarrassed.

“And of course you’re embarrassed. You’ve just performed poorly, you’ve just been bowled out for 68. Show face, get on the pitch, support your captain.

“The captain’s going to answer all the questions now, he has done. Well, his team have got to be right beside him even in the tough times.”

Joe Root has some tough questions to answer. Photo: Fox Sports.

World reacts to England’s abysmal surrender

The brittle way England collapsed saw it become a laughing stock.

England cricketer Alex Hartley tweeted: “I don’t even have any words to describe what I’ve just witnessed! Absolutely gutted.”

ESPNcricinfo writer Andrew Miller posted: “Australia have been outstanding. But we have just witnessed the most pitiful Ashes campaign in history. And it’s not even halfway through the scheduled series length.”

England legend Ian Botham told Channel 7: “I’m a little embarrassed, to be honest … To lose the Ashes in 12 days, I don‘t know if that’s the fastest, but it’s got to be very close to it. I just think that England have lost their way.

“The performance today summed it up for me, I think you’ve got enough time to get a couple of players in from the Lions tour because we need to freshen it up, at the moment it’s stagnating.”

The Sun’s John Etheridge wrote: “Australia retain the Ashes less than halfway through the series in terms of actual playing time. A crushing victory by a fine team. England‘s campaign wrecked by terrible decisions, cock-eyed thinking and the worst batting line-up in living memory.”

English television personality Piers Morgan tweeted: “FFS - show some bloody fight, England, this is embarrassing.”

Quite, quite mad.

— Rory Dollard (@thervd) December 28, 2021

This is the 18th Ashes Test I've covered in Australia (and the 13th defeat) and this is the worst performance of the lot. Absolutely abysmal. Australia win by an innings and 14 runs inside 80 minutes of day three #Ashes

— Chris Stocks (@StocksC_cricket) December 28, 2021

No wonder England didn’t want to come to Australia. This is embarrassing. #ashes

— Nat Yoannidis (@NatYoannidis) December 28, 2021

Vaughan took exception to more than just how England’s players left their captain all on his own.

“They’ve got some big problems. That was embarrassing,” he said on Fox Cricket’s coverage.

“They’re a group of players that pride themselves on competing and they’ve just not managed to find any kind of consistency or skill.

“They’ve not been able to manage this powerhouse of a team. The juggernaut started in Brisbane and they’ve not been able to stop the Australian juggernaut.

“They’ve been disappointed with the England side all tour. It’s not been easy in these times, the England side haven’t had a great deal of preparation, but if you want to look for excuses you can, you can always find excuses — this Test match team for quite a while has not been good enough.

“They’ve not been focused enough on the Test match team, the focus has been on the white ball team and it delivered a world cup, but we’re not a good enough cricketing nation to take our eye off the ball of Test match cricket. We can’t just arrive and play.

“I would say that with the group I’m seeing and the way they’re playing, if they don’t beat England in 2023 I’d be amazed.”

Australian captain Pat Cummins, leading his team for just the second time in Test cricket, said: “I’m so proud of the group here. Everything’s clicked, worked out.

“Just an amazing feeling.”