England’s abysmal Ashes humiliation is beyond belief

England has been utterly humiliated at the MCG, coughing up the Ashes in the most abysmal fashion and sinking to a whole new low.

The Aussies demolished England. (Photo by Robert Cianflone/Getty Images)

England collapsed in humiliating fashion on Tuesday morning to hand the Ashes back to Australia.

Beginning day three at 4/31 — 51 runs behind the Aussies — the tourists crumpled in a heap. When Cameron Green bowled Jimmy Anderson for two, England was all out for 68 within 28 overs and the Aussies secured victory by an innings and 14 runs.

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The win gives Australia an unassailable 3-0 lead in the five-match series and Pat Cummins and Co. will hold onto the urn for a little while longer.

England was comprehensively outplayed in the first two Tests of the series but the MCG humiliation was a whole new low. Joe Root’s men succumbed in less than two-and-a-half days, surrendering meekly in the Victorian capital.

Remarkably, the match finished before the Sydney to Hobart yacht race.

“I’m so proud of the group here. Everything’s clicked, worked out,” Cummins said post-match. “Just an amazing feeling.

“We have been relentless with bat and ball when we have had to be. The bowlers have turned up and owned the good area around the top of off stump. For the batters, they have earned their runs.

“All round, everyone’s performed. Everyone’s contributed. Great feeling.”

Winners are grinners. (Photo by Robert Cianflone/Getty Images)

Scott Boland had a debut to remember. (Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images)

Aussie debutant Scott Boland was the hero for the home side, taking an astonishing 6/7 from four overs in a match he will never forget.

Fittingly, the second Indigenous male player to represent Australia won the Mullagh Medal — named after Indigenous cricketer Johnny Mullagh — for player of the match as he decimated England in the second innings.

Mitchell Starc started the rot on Tuesday, bowling Ben Stokes for 11 with a pearler that nipped between bat and pad. England fans were praying for a miracle, led by the team’s best batters in Stokes and Root, but Australia’s left-arm fast bowler dented those hopes.

Boland took two wickets in an over in Monday’s scintillating final hour, knocking over Haseeb hameed and Jack Leach, and he picked up where he left off on his home ground.

A dropped catch in the gully didn’t dampen his spirit, as he quickly trapped Jonny Bairstow LBW. Bairstow reviewed but it was umpire’s call and the on-field decision remained.

Next, Boland had Root — who top scored with 28 — caught by David Warner at first slip as the England captain drove at a ball outside off stump. Then the burly paceman held onto a sharp return catch to dismiss Mark Wood caught and bowled for a duck.

That gave Boland his fifth wicket and the procession continued as Ollie Robinson became the next batter to nick off.

Anderson, who bowled so well in Melbourne to keep England in the hunt at the completion of both sides’ first innings, strode out to the middle far too early and Green put the exclamation point on the victory by knocking his opponent’s stumps over.

A dejected Root had no answers and could only admit his team had been no match for the Aussies.

“Credit to Australia. They blew us away last night and have outplayed for this Test match and series,” he said. “Got a lot of hard work to do to make sure we come back strong in the last two games.

“We’ve just got to do things for longer. There’s been small pockets — nowhere near long enough to get yourself in a game and in a position to win a Test match.

“We know the areas we need to improve on. We have to look to keep getting better. We have to stay strong and look at the next two games as a real opportunity to take something away from the tour.”

Joe Root couldn’t save England (Photo by Hamish Blair / AFP)