What your kids wish you knew: Young people give advice to their parents
TEN young people, aged eight to 18, were asked to give brutally frank advice to their parents as they revealed what they wish their mum and dad knew about them. And some of their answers are surprising.
RIDING bikes, popping in on friends, just hanging out as a family — it turns out today’s children are longing for the kind of simple pleasures their parents enjoyed as kids.
The Sunday Telegraph sat down with 10 young people aged eight to 18 and asked for their brutally frank advice to their parents: what do you wish Mum and Dad knew about you?
HARRISON HOOPER, 9, WILLOUGHBY
“I love my parents. I love Dad because he’s so important in my life, he plays with me and spends time with me and just makes me happy. I love Mum because she helps me, cooks for me, teaches me and makes me happy too.
I just wish I got more time with them. Sometimes I would like them to feel exactly what I’m feeling. Like if I’m feeling stressed or calm or annoyed they would know exactly what it’s like and how to help me.
Normally if I want to tell Mum and Dad anything, I just tell them, because I trust them and believe that they’ll do their best to help me. My mum and dad listen and support me but I’m not so sure if other parents do. There might be some who don’t support them.
Teachers should too — well, that’s their job — but maybe not all do. Adults should help kids with confidence so they can say what they are feeling and not be frightened to.
Sometimes I think other kids need to be friendlier, not mean. Also not so much homework because school is for work and at home I should be able to play. I mean I understand I have to do work, and that’s OK, but it feels too much.”
CHLOE WILLIAMS, 8, WILLOUGHBY
“I love life but sometimes I feel it’s so busy and we are always rushing around. We do lots of activities after school and sometimes I wish we could just relax at home. I love my mum and dad and know they love me.
Mum and Dad do lots of things with us at school and on the weekends. My favourite thing to do with Dad is going rock climbing together and I love how Mum comes in to school to do reading and Dad coaches us at sport.
But I wish they would stop telling me to stop watching the iPad and go to bed earlier. And Mum only needs to tell me once to get my uniform on and clean my teeth. They always tell me to look people in the eye and say their names — it’s kind of annoying hearing that all the time. Mum and Dad always want to help me but sometimes I don’t tell them if I have a problem and just want to work things out for myself.
And sometimes I only want to tell one of them my problems and not the whole family and make it a big deal. They are always helping my little brother with his homework and think I’m old enough do it myself, but I would like them to help me too.”
FRANCESCA (FRANKIE) SEKEL, 17, CASTLE COVE
“Mum and Dad, thanks for being so supportive to me, and helping me when I’m down and being able to understand and respect what I need to say and always letting me have an input in family issues.
Sometimes I wish I could tell you things about school without you getting angry about me not succeeding. I also would like for you to have more trust in me, as I’m nearly an adult. I would like to tell them to be more chill, and not stress out over the most little of things, and to be able to trust me and what I’m doing.
Social media is definitely our biggest issue — it has pretty much ruined my teenage life.
When I was 16 and in Year 10 I decided to delete Snapchat and Instagram. If I have a problem, depending on what it is, I will go to my parents, but I’m afraid they will judge me, take the situation out of hand and either embarrass me or make it worse, because they just don’t understand my generation and how we all operate.”
TOM ALLEN, 16, MOSMAN
“To my father in particular, I wish you were there for me more than anyone else. I would encourage parents to motivate your child to participate in anything they choose to pursue, rather than force them into a field of academics, or extra-curriculars they do not love.
To also teach them real-life lessons, such as how to cook, from an early age. That not only implements basic survival needs into their brain, but may also spark interest in that field.
I feel as if as we move into the next generation of mankind, we must appreciate the ideas and the curiosity of the youth, as it can positively inflict the minds of the old.
The biggest issue facing us at the moment is the academic competitiveness of Year 11 and the HSC. I feel as if the desire for a higher rank can subsequently decay friendships, as study outweighs time spent with peers. Other than that we are still maintaining a strong relationship.”
JAKE TRACEY, 8, CENTRAL COAST
“My dad trains me at rugby league and my mum is the team manager — she’s a good organiser. I love my mum and my dad but they are different. I find my dad is really hard on me at footy training and he teaches the other kids more than me because he assumes I should know stuff already.
If I’m naughty he sits me out at training, and the other kids can be naughty and he doesn’t care. When I’m training for running my mum times me on her phone, and I like that. I like to beat my times. Sometimes Mum yells ‘run faster run faster’ but I would prefer if she just said, ‘you’re doing a great time, just sprint to the finish’.
I just think Dad wants me to be perfect and better than everyone else and Mum wants me to beat my own times. My advice to them is let me have chicken goujons for my lunch order even if they are crappy food. And treat me the same as the other boys at footy training. I also don’t think that Dad treats me as nice as Mummy does.”
SOPHIE SATNARINE, 13.5, BELROSE
“I want to tell my parents that they are doing a really good job on raising my brother and I, but sometimes they will yell at me and won’t give me a reason why, or they yell at me for reasons I don’t understand.
Other than that they are amazing. I think it would be easier to be a young person if we weren’t always criticised for making mistakes, because everyone makes mistakes.”
SOPHIE DRAGO, 18, HORNSBY
“I would mostly want to say that despite all the ups and downs, that I love them, and am so grateful and appreciative for my upbringing and their influence in shaping me to be so kind, open and resilient.
With my dad, our relationship is as strong as ever. I’ve recently started to come to terms with my emotions and learning how to better express them, and he has been really supportive and encouraging of this. I tell Dad all the time not to worry so much, and that no matter what everything would be OK.
But on top of that I think I would let him know that we are always going to need him, and that we are never going to forget him or neglect him — I feel like he gets nervous about that as both me and my sister are starting to grow up ‘for real this time’, especially with me just starting uni. I am always on the phone to Dad asking his opinion on everything because I value and trust his input 100 per cent.
I used to be quiet though, especially about bigger things like issues fitting in or fights with friends. I’ve since learnt that being open and talking about how you’re feeling and tapping into your support network makes everything seem easier and manageable.”
ALESSANDRO CURRO, 10, WEST PYMBLE
“I want my parents to know how beautiful they both are. I want them to always be happy and not fight. I really do appreciate what they do, even if I don’t show it. I think my brothers and I have a pretty good relationship with our parents.
I know when I talk back and argue they get mad which makes me worry that they don’t care about me, even though I know they would die for me. I want to tell my parents to stop yelling at us to do our homework — let us play outside and have fun.
We want to spend more time with them. We are only children for so long and then grow up, so put your phone down and be with me. At school I struggle. It’s always about who is better — better kicks at goal, best at running, better stationery — I hate it because it’s not fair on us. My parents listen to me when they aren’t busy but sometimes they don’t have time. ”
ROSE BARBAGALLO, 15, MARSFIELD
“My relationship with my parents is like everyone’s — highs and lows. Some days I feel close to them and other days I feel like I don’t know them.
I want to tell them to put yourselves in our shoes, in today’s society, and how they would feel. My parents always encourage me to have a voice but sometimes I feel no one listens.”
ANNABELLE VEDDER, 14, BOTANY
“To my parents I would say thank you very much for all the things you do for me, I really do appreciate it.
If I could give my parents any advice it would be please listen to all my questions. Even though I ask a lot, have patience and don’t get angry when I ask too many. “
Originally published as What your kids wish you knew: Young people give advice to their parents
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