Parents, where are you rushing to? Slow down

MY four-year-old shouldn’t know what it means to rush, writes Lisa Mayoh. She’s a child. Life shouldn’t be so hectic, so never-stop-for-a-second-to breathe.

Don’t enter your kids in a race they didn’t sign up for. (Pic: iStock)

“QUICK quick, get in the car — Mummy’s in a big RUSH,” my four-year-old yelled at her little brother one day. He’s one. He looked at me, worried.

I stopped trying to cram my three young children, their backpacks, drink bottles and lunch boxes into the car, coffee in one hand, my phone in the other.

I crouched down to their level, gave my son a cuddle and looked into my daughter’s eyes.

“It’s OK, darling, we don’t have to rush. Let’s take our time. We don’t have to hurry,” I assured her. I saw her relax, instantly. He smiled.

It was a defining moment for me, and one I won’t soon forget.

A four-year-old shouldn’t know what it means to rush. She’s a child. Life shouldn’t be so hectic, so chaotic, so never-stop-for-a-second-to breathe, busy like it is.

“I’m only a kid once, and it goes really fast — I just want to be a kid,” my wise little mate Alessandro Curro told me this week. He’s 10. He was one of 10 young people I interviewed for a story on how children feel about their parents, what advice they would give them, and what they want from their relationship.

The story moved me to tears. Ranging from eight to 18, they were so raw and honest. And no matter their age, they all wanted the same thing — a voice. And parents who heard them.

Yes, there is lots to do. But there will always be a lot to do, so keep things in perspective. (Pic: iStock)

The little ones didn’t want to do so many activities all the time — they just wanted to stop, relax, and “be kids”. The older they got, the more stressed they got. Social media. Exam anxiety. Pressure to succeed. Self-esteem. It’s tough. And it’s scary.

We talk about work-life balance and how hard it is being an adult, parent, employee and friend all at once in this world that never stops moving — but we often forget to ask our kids how they are. To really ask, I mean. To check in, and see what’s happening in their lives, properly connect and see what they need.

They, like us, need to stop. They, like us, need positivity, attention, consideration. They need understanding.

I learned a lot doing this story, and so did the parents who allowed their children to take part. It revealed a lot of home truths, brought up a lot of personal feelings and resulted in an overwhelming promise to be more present, from both parent and child.

It’s already changed the way I look at my kids. The way I talk to them, and how conscious I am of putting my phone away and listening.

And I’m doing my best not to rush. My 18-month-old has become a parrot lately, and that’s one word I don’t want him learn.