James Weir recaps more secret details from the Federal Election campaign trail

More details have come to light about one of the PM’s most gripping campaign incidents, as James Weir continues his mission on the trail.

The federal election campaign trail is like North Korea but less organised and without the cute uniforms.

Right now, Scott Morrison and Anthony Albanese are heading into the sixth and final week of their tours – last-ditch attempts for both to prove they should be installed as the man in the top job ahead of voters hitting the booths on Saturday.

And tagging along on each bus is a troupe of journalists, who are starved and told no details about what to expect each day or where they will be flying to.

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Last week, I donned Groucho Marx glasses and infiltrated the PM’s bus. This week, it was time to terrorise Albo.

Both leaders have a team of advisers wrangling their media contingents. And these advisers are basically Married At First Sight producers. Their one mission is to exhaust journos by depriving them of sleep and plying them with alcohol.

An example of the schedule? Up at 6am with a full day of commitments that includes a stop at a winery in Perth before a long-haul wine-fuelled flight back to the east coast that touches down around midnight. Then? Another dawn start.

Below are the intimate details you won’t read anywhere else.

Part two of the number two

One week after News Corp broke the story about a member of the PM’s travelling media pack unleashing on the bus toilet, the story has continued to unfold.

The crap storm continued to pour in the moments leading up to last week’s column being published.

The exclusive was followed by other outlets throughout the week. That tends to happen with explosive news.

News Corp can report the incident — which occurred on a Perth highway last Friday — spilt over into a two-day disaster, with the results of the event still affecting the bus cabin the following day.

Things got so bad that journalists placed official complaints to the Prime Minister’s Office and a second bus had to be brought in until the original vehicle could be taken to a depot for emergency repair.

“It’s worse than what we thought,” the bus driver told a PMO representative.

Since last week’s exclusive, a lot of questions have been submitted by curious readers, demanding more information regarding the identity of the bus dumper. That intel is classified. Revealing an identity would be cruel. It would also take away part of the hilarity.

News Corp can confirm several of the annoyingly-attractive TV reporters aboard the bus took issue with last week’s exclusive because of the possibility readers might think it was one of them.

Could it be? Think what you want.

Media on the PM’s campaign trail lining up to board the new bus after evacuating the old one.

A comprehensive list of grievances

Six weeks is a long time to be on the road. Especially with the two men battling it out to be our next Prime Minister.

It’s to be expected that unwelcome surprises will present themselves. And not just in bus toilets.

Usually, ScoMo’s team books five-star accommodation (paid for by each news organisation, of course). But the PM’s Perth visit last week was an absolute fiasco. The hotel was only four-star.

Gasp! Can you imagine? After weeks of luxury accommodation, the journalists aboard the bus were repulsed.

“This is a hostel,” one cringed.

“The carpet feels weird under my shoes,” another dry-heaved.

“My room smells like a bar of soap,” came another complaint.

Still not convinced of the horror?

“My room at the Four Seasons had a view of the Opera House and now my window looks out over a road.”

Outside of hotels, the biggest complaints were related to the food supplied on the private jets used to transport media to different cities.

Ironically, just days after the PM’s raw chicken korma conundrum, flight attendants gleefully served journos an in-flight meal of microwaved curry.

Payback for the endless news reports? Obviously.

Albo continued to prove he was a man of the people by serving bus snacks.

Biggest loss of PM’s campaign

If the polls are correct and Scott Morrison does lose the election, it won’t be the biggest loss of his campaign.

The real victim is Sky News senior political reporter Jonathan Lea, who accidentally left his Panama hat in Perth after a whirlwind visit on the PM’s bus.

The hat really became the star of the show. It could regularly be seen in his flawless live crosses from far-flung locations on the trail.

Three years ago, it was his merlot-hued coat that was the drawcard. This year, the Panama hat.

It’s these finer details that more journos need to consider. Sure, Mark Riley’s great. But he’d be even more memorable if his on-air image included some kind of flourish, like a statement brooch.

How does one describe Jono’s crisp white Panama hat? Fetching. It was the kind of accessory that would’ve been donned by a character in an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel.

RIP.

Last seen: Jono doffing his Panama hat at the PM at a WA winery.

Most important trait revealed

Still undecided? Maybe this will sway you.

News Corp can exclusively reveal what kind of coffee our leaders drink. Nothing says more about a person than their coffee order.

While the PM has recently switched from coffee to herbal tea, he was forced to pick a brew while visiting Cibo Espresso in Adelaide’s seaside suburb of Glenelg. His choice? A short black.

And at a cafe in Melbourne’s Heathmont this week, Albo met with volunteers and held a random baby while sipping a flat white.

More analysis of coffee choices can be read this week on news.com.au when my unauthorised tell-alls of the leaders are published ahead of Saturday’s election.

But it can be said right now with certainty: at least neither of them ordered a mocha.

Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir