AFP agents’ harrowing stories: ‘My life has never been the same’

A STAGGERING number of Australian Federal Police agents have told news.com.au harrowing personal stories of life inside the organisation.

There is a mental health crisis in the Australian Federal Police. Picture: Supplied

WARNING: Disturbing content

AUSTRALIAN Federal Police agents are notoriously secretive.

So it was unprecedented when more than 50 past and current AFP agents, some with top secret clearance, and several former in-house psychologists, contacted news.com.au to raise serious concerns about cultural issues within the organisation and the welfare of its members.

Their comments come after a female AFP officer died inside the AFP Melbourne headquarters this month.

These are just some of the disturbing stories told by past and present Australian Federal Police agents to news.com.au over the past week.

— “I was told by my direct superior that he didn’t ‘care if they all got shot to pieces, they could easily be replaced by 100 more tomorrow’. This was in reference to officers protecting the Prime Minister and Governor-general.”

— “We are the ones on the frontline protecting everyone else but no one is protecting us.”

— “I often fantasised about ending my life.”

— “I thought I was strong yet over the past two years I have seriously considered suicide several times.”

— “I was a high-flyer, a top performer — one of those alpha males: 6ft 5in, 115kg — with no fear and one of those guys who would do whatever was required for a teammate or the AFP. Unfortunately the attitude such as ‘you’ll be right mate’ or ‘go to the hard river and have a good drink’ existed in my final years in the job, I was put on light duties although still performing operational police work, unarmed and with no accoutrements. I had what I would describe as a nervous breakdown; I drank heavily, took prescription medication and lost interest in most of the things I previously enjoyed. I have since battled with post-traumatic stress, depression and have thought about ending my life many times.”

— “I was one of a number of those in the front line who held above top secret clearance. There is no council available for the like. You can’t discuss matters, with those who don’t hold your clearance. I’m not sure many understand this burden. A federal agent is cleared to secret, other officers are required take on higher clearances in their line of duty, there is no one to talk to. Great assets to our security are going to waste.”

— “I am obviously concerned about my future but write to you because there are many others like me, still in the job, suffering terribly. They run the risk of being put on “light duties” and given the reputation of a nut job, weak or untrustworthy. The support system is nothing short of pathetic. It is a joke.”

— “My life has never been the same and the career I saw for myself was lost to me. I have trouble sleeping and have not had a relationship since leaving the AFP due to being made to feel so badly and being told that these things were ‘in (my) head’.”

— “During an online child pornography investigation last year an offender when confronted with evidence jumped off the balcony in an unsuccessful suicide attempt yet no welfare services were provided on-site in Sydney for the investigation team and it was up to the Sydney Officer Manager to check on their welfare after the traumatic event.”

— “The AFP os a festering pit of bullying, nepotism and double standards. I do think the present commissioner is trying to change all of this, but I think lots gets hidden from him and he really has no idea what goes on below him and how power is abused in the name of disciplining members.”

— “They need internal people in the regional officer — they need more resources for the front line staff in the ACT, they need to not work the current wellbeing staff into the ground. Things need to change or more lives will be lost.”

— “I am a former AFP member forced to resign because of bullying, sexual harassment and even physical abuse. I was treated for severe depression in my last two years of service and ended up with stress-induced Shingles. When I finally decided to make a formal complaint I was told it would go nowhere and that I ‘knew what it would mean for my career’. When I started to have suicidal thoughts about using my service weapon to end it I finally resigned. It was so bad I couldn’t even wait the extra two months for my 10 years and long service leave to come up. I didn’t even ask for a voluntary redundancy I was so desperate to get away.”

— “While the AFP tell you they have all of these wonderful processes and people, you don’t hear from them. In fact, it would appear that it is a normal tactic of the AFP to deliberately isolate individuals. It is almost as though they believe that PTSD is contagious.”

— “I was bullied and that was swept under the carpet. I’m now a broken wreck and I’m tired of fighting. The bottom line here is that the number one priority of the AFP is not terrorism, not drug enforcement nor security of our officials and diplomats. The number one priority is managing the brand, protecting the reputation of the AFP and putting a spin on everything to distract from what is actually going on within the organisation.”

— “The way the AFP treated me was criminal. Over the last two or three years I have had many members coming to me to seek help outside the organisation as the internal processes are corrupt and failing.”

— “I’ve already experienced immense stress placed on my family due to trying to stand up for what is right. Additionally, I am attempting to move on in the public service in which they are known for being disparaging to those who have tried to move away.”

— “I am a victim of the AFP. The job that I loved. The one that has destroyed my life. I walk around in constant anger and misery. I am not being dramatic.”

— “The AFP knows that for every person broken there’s 50 civilians who want to get into the organisation. They have stated to us that it’s OK if you want to leave because they can be replaced. The attitude is that its easier to replace the broken ones than help fix them.”

— “What’s really needed is for all of us to be able to talk to someone in-house, not an external provider contracted to provide ‘X sessions per financial year’ per member. Someone with whom one can build some semblance of trust and empathy, who will be able to understand the realities of our professional duties, the toll it can sometimes take and who can relay to leadership that seeking help is not ‘being soft’ but actually a sign of strength.”

— “Most police member suicides are carried out in quiet places, in the bush, or hotel rooms, and no-one ever gets to recognise that the cause might have been a shocking workplace until way too late.”

— “I am a clinical psychologist in private practice, and I have several clients who have been dumped, smashed and left to die — literally — by the so-called AFP wellbeing service. My (AFP) clients who have a diagnosis of any sort of mental health issue, even the injuries obtained in the pursuit of their duty, are stigmatised and dumped by the organisation.”

— “The AFP needs to be overhauled with regard to officers’ mental health issues. Unfortunately, mental health issues of officers are a stigma within the AFP. Unless there is a concerted impartial commission into the problems which exist within the AFP, more officers will resort to taking their own lives … possibly even the lives of others in the process.”

If you or someone you know needs help, phone Lifeline on 13 11 14, Beyondblue on 1300 22 4636 or the 24-hour Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.

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