This Is [Nearly] 30: How to lift your mood from 'f*** off' to fabulous
WAKE up on the wrong side of bed? Ran out of coffee? Sun shining, but you just don't care? Here's how to shake off a sluggish morning and get your game-face on.
TODAY. It just.... It sucks, doesn't it?
Maybe you overslept. Maybe you underslept. Maybe you ran out of pods for your Nespresso machine and can't get to the store until, hell, next Wednesday afternoon. Which, right now, is unacceptable.
It's sunny and cloudless and the temperature is 25 out; objectively - it's a perfect day. Objectively. But, whatever. It should be 27. At least. This isn't beach weather, and obviously it should be. And despite this being a winter month in all fairness, the fact it's not January and 35 just p***es you off for no good reason.
This George Costanza approach to the day just isn't going to work for you. Whether it was the wrong side of the bed or you're feeling that extra glass of Merlot - or - you'd just prefer it to be a Saturday, you're going to have to suck it up and turn things around. This case of Mondayitis - on a Thursday! - is killing Independent George.
You have two choices: Shake off the malaise and win the day, or let the day win you. You're too stubborn to have the latter prevail, so you opt for the malaise-shaking option, or, whatever. It all sounds a bit hard still.
So how do you get going and turn things around? How do you flip your mood calendar from 'F*** off* to 'Fabulous'?
SUN-UP
Get in on some of that sweet Vitamin D action, don't just let the sun hog it all. Just because it's not a perfect summer's day, doesn't mean you shouldn't hop off the train a stop early and grab some cheeky rays on the final stretch into work. The walk will do you good. It clears the head, gets some blood flowing, and gives you an excuse to casually drop the word "stroll" into morning kitchen banter.
SWEAT
Not the kind of sweat you get from sitting at your desk for too long when the air-conditioning system breaks. No, the good kind. There are more scientific explanations to be offered, but exercise = better mood. If you can't get to the gym or smash out some hill runs before work, then do it at lunch. Or after work. Or before you go to sleep. Whenever. Don't say you don't have time, especially when you're actually just watching re-runs of Offspring and crying about how that Patrick dude die. Move on. Winners always have time.
OATMEAL
Eat some, it's good for you. The kind of stuff that will fill you up for hours and keep the hanger at bay (then you'll have real problems). Try this: Rolled oats, almonds, walnuts, half a banana, cinnamon, blueberries, milk. And a scoop of peanut butter if you want things to get interesting. If you can't handle eating oatmeal, for whatever reason, then at least read it. theoatmeal.com is the funniest thing you'll look at all day. Alternatively, scour the web for a grumpy cat, forlorn goat or hungover owl whose day is worse than yours. What better way to feel better about yourself (other than, you know, eating cheese for breakfast or giving The Girlfriend a map to read)?
DANCE, SING, SHOUT OUT LOUD
Remember how gratifying it was to belt out Wham! and Spice Girls at karaoke? Well you don't have to be in a dark room at 3am to get a buzz going. Just make sure you warm up the pipes or your neighbours will think they're living next to Kermit the Frog. And if singing in the shower isn't your thing, move about the room to your favourite song as if no one is watching. And if someone is watching, just have a better cover story than Hugh Grant in Love Actually.
GET YOUR HEAD READ
Look. Funnies aside, if you're waking up feeling this way more often than not - then you'd better speak to someone who knows what they're doing. It's great to play the curmudgeon every once in a while, but if that once in a while turns into once a week then once a week is once a day, we've got problems. Catch up with your GP and tell them how you feel. But if you're really struggling, right now, then pick up the phone and call Lifeline (13 11 14).
How do you shake off a morning temper?
Chris isn't a qualified mood consultant, or, s***, maybe he is. He's probably sulking right this very minute, on Twitter: @christoforpaine
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