Why women really cheat

MEN may cheat simply 'because they can.' For women, it’s slightly different.

Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart

MEN may cheat simply 'because they can.' For women, it’s slightly different.

Another week, another celebrity cheating scandal. Unusually, this time it’s the woman who’s strayed. The perpetrator?

Actress Kristen Stewart, who admitted last week to having had an affair with director Rupert Sanders during filming of Snow White and the Huntsman.

The victim? Her boyfriend of three years, co-star and Hollywood heartthrob, Robert Pattinson. She called it a ‘momentary indiscretion.’ I’d call it cheating on your boyfriend with a married man.

But far be it from me to pass judgment. I’ve witnessed the implications of a relationship broken down by cheating and it’s not straightforward.

Here are the biggest reasons why I think women cheat:

Attention

In a relationship, women crave attention from their partner in about the same way men crave sex. She wants a man who tells her she looks gorgeous, asks about her day and really listens.

Toward the end of my last relationship, when things had soured and we barely saw each other, I went for dinner with an ex. Whilst there was no physical cheating, I was well aware that this would be an evening of drunken flirting and brazen body language. It was no accident I wore the dress I know garners the most male attention. Basically, I needed to feel sexy and desirable again. Maybe Kristen felt the same.

Excitement

Ever heard that metaphor used to describe the monotony of marriage? ‘Imagine having steak every night for the rest of your life. Sometimes you just want a burger.’

That’s not exclusive to blokes, you know. You think if we had to eat steak every bloody night for the rest of our lives we wouldn’t get bored, too? If you sense that the relationship is becoming one, long predictable routine, it’s time to shake things up. Quickly.

Sex

On the whole, I think women cheat for emotional reasons and men for sex. Most men I asked agreed, citing ‘weaker willpower’ as the biggest pitfall.

We can handle the willpower just fine, thanks, but if the sex is dwindling out of the relationship, don’t be surprised if she seeks it elsewhere. Hey, we’ve got needs too. Stuck in a sexless rut? Whisk her away for the weekend or take her for a romantic date. Oh, and if she hasn’t read 50 Shades of Grey yet, buy her a copy immediately. It’s the biggest female aphrodisiac going.

Wanting what we can’t have

K-Stew is young. She’s been with her boyfriend for three years - a fairly long time when you’re 22, whether you’re a celebrity or not. Finding herself on set, working closely with the film’s director, her boss; sexy, older, powerful and out of bounds, is an exciting change from Mr Dependable back home, wouldn’t you say?

Perhaps you’ve experienced a similar scenario when a girlfriend cheated with that guy from her office. If you’re a loving, fun, communicative and supportive boyfriend then your girl shouldn’t want to stray at all. If she does, you can do better.

Frustration

Not sexual frustration - we’ve covered that - I’m talking serious anger. Embarking on an affair just because you left the toilet seat up is unlikely, but if you don’t respect her she knows to hit you exactly where it hurts.

A girl I know was forever waving off advances by a male colleague, shamelessly trying it on despite knowing she was seeing someone. Her boyfriend, meanwhile, was an unambitious, lazy twat. When eventually she found sex-texts from another girl on his phone, she reached breaking point. Whose arms do you think she ran straight into?

Every relationship and scenario is different but, in the real world at least, women mainly cheat for emotional reasons rather than sexual temptation. Listen, compliment, surprise and support her, and she’d be a mad woman to stray.